With gender ratios out of balance, Sydney's Lotharios have never had it so good, writes Rachael Turk.
A man takes a woman home. Before long, he takes home another. Then he adds a third, or even a fourth love interest, flitting between them on a whim and as his workload allows. Each jostles for his attention, dealing with the knowledge she's not the only one.
A scene from a 19th-century Mormon community? Or Memoirs of a Geisha where a woman might receive a kimono for her kind understanding? Try Sydney 2006.
In inner-city Sydney, where available women outnumber their male counterparts in the tens of thousands, an average inner-city jock can be playing multiple women at once. With Sydney so "cock-poor" - as one Lothario so poetically puts it - the odds are simply in their favour.
The demographer Bernard Salt loosely puts the ratio of single, available women to men at five-to-one. "Men have lots of options," he says. "It's a matter of market demand. Our society has evolved a process whereby single men are fully utilised and some are more utilised than others."
While two-timing (or more) has occurred through the ages, what's curious is it's at the front of women's consciousness. More often than not, we know it's happening and allow it to continue. No longer do Sydney's men need to be grateful for sex - it seems they're doing women a favour. We're not only obliging, but thanking them for lending us a helping hand. Not since the days of Roman orgies did men have it so good.
Take Rob*, for example. A fitness coach on the North Shore, the 29-year-old juggles as many as four women each week. Cute women, smart women - women, he admits he can't believe let him get away with it. "As long as I'm reasonably honest," he says, "it seems to be OK."
Rob, admittedly, has a busy schedule. As well as the daily grind of running his own business, he has a three-page list of Things He Wants To Achieve in 2006. These include professional goals, financial goals and more abstract ones, such as getting more sleep. The modern relationship model serves him well: whenever he has a free 45-minute block.
Chris, 36, has the rules even more clearly defined. A fireman who is "happily divorced" with a child, he dates three women concurrently and has his game strategy down pat: two, three or four women, at various stages of overlap, with each relationship lasting four to six weeks.
The women, whose ages range from 26 to 37, are all aware of the situation. Typically, he says, they're sophisticated, stylish career types. "They're happy to be single and focus on their jobs. Every now and then they call me for a catch-up!"
Such a schedule takes dexterity and commitment. Or commitment to non-commitment. One of Chris's lady friends is booked in three weeks in advance to catch up.
He admits it can be tricky with the younger ones: "It's harder - there is a different mentality. Sometimes they can't get their head around it. You can see where they're coming from but if it's too much hard work you shrug your shoulders and walk away. There are other people to talk to."
Ladies, where did we go wrong? Is it simply a matter of numbers or does this signal a wider cultural shift? Did feminism free men from the bonds of fidelity? Is this the modern harem? The theory, I guess, is that we would rather be Girl Friday Night (only) than stay in with the cat and Richard Mercer.
What do we get out of the deal, if not full-time companionship and commitment? In her graphic novel The Sexual Life of Catherine M, the Parisian author Catherine Millet tallies the spoils of her libertine affairs as little more than "a pair of sparkly orange stockings that I have never worn, three thick 1930s bangles in bakelite ... a watch from a newsagent,a plastic brooch and a Japanese electric brand *****".
The website Polygamy.com presents arguments as to why plural marriage might be beneficial to women. It goes so far as to tout it as "the ultimate feminist lifestyle".
Says a devotee, Elizabeth Joseph: "My eight-year-old has never seen the inside of a day-care centre and my husband has never eaten a TV dinner. And I know that when I get home from work, if I'm dog-tired and stressed out, I can be alone and guilt-free. It's a rare day when all eight of my husband's wives are tired and stressed at the same time."
The site notes that plural marriage was accepted practice among early Hebrew communities, including several revered biblical figures such as Abraham, David and Solomon. Solomon was the busiest, he had 700 wives and 300 concubines.
Although the percentage of men who have more than one wife is relatively small, the Israeli anthropologist Joseph Ginat says up to one-third of the world's population belongs to a community that allows it. These are mainly in Africa, Asia and the Middle East.
At 36, the very current-day TV executive Alec* is happily playing the field. And who can blame him, really?
"I've got a good job, I'm not bad-looking and I've never been married," he says. "This is a pretty rare combination in Sydney, so I'm not short of opportunities. I don't need to settle for anything that doesn't completely suit me - so why should I?
"I guess it's like the old adage of, 'why buy the cow when you get the milk for free' - especially [when you can get it] in four different flavours."
Of course, there's no such thing as a free lunch, even though Sydney's a smorgasbord. Rob admits that juggling four dates becomes "exhausting - financially, emotionally and physically". Our hearts bleed. Clearly, they don't make men like they did in Solomon's day.
Could it be that Rob is getting tired of the game? Perhaps there's hope for us yet? After all, somewhere down page three of his list of Things He Wants To Achieve in 2006 is the small but not insignificant line: "Fall in love."
From experience, I'd say it's unlikely. Not for a few years, at least, until his "hit rate" starts to droop and the signs of his mortality kick in.
* Not their real names. Chris, however, is happy for the extra promotion.
Open polygamy: what's the problem? Share your views on the forums at radar.smh.com.au
Rachael Turk
A man takes a woman home. Before long, he takes home another. Then he adds a third, or even a fourth love interest, flitting between them on a whim and as his workload allows. Each jostles for his attention, dealing with the knowledge she's not the only one.
A scene from a 19th-century Mormon community? Or Memoirs of a Geisha where a woman might receive a kimono for her kind understanding? Try Sydney 2006.
In inner-city Sydney, where available women outnumber their male counterparts in the tens of thousands, an average inner-city jock can be playing multiple women at once. With Sydney so "cock-poor" - as one Lothario so poetically puts it - the odds are simply in their favour.
The demographer Bernard Salt loosely puts the ratio of single, available women to men at five-to-one. "Men have lots of options," he says. "It's a matter of market demand. Our society has evolved a process whereby single men are fully utilised and some are more utilised than others."
While two-timing (or more) has occurred through the ages, what's curious is it's at the front of women's consciousness. More often than not, we know it's happening and allow it to continue. No longer do Sydney's men need to be grateful for sex - it seems they're doing women a favour. We're not only obliging, but thanking them for lending us a helping hand. Not since the days of Roman orgies did men have it so good.
Take Rob*, for example. A fitness coach on the North Shore, the 29-year-old juggles as many as four women each week. Cute women, smart women - women, he admits he can't believe let him get away with it. "As long as I'm reasonably honest," he says, "it seems to be OK."
Rob, admittedly, has a busy schedule. As well as the daily grind of running his own business, he has a three-page list of Things He Wants To Achieve in 2006. These include professional goals, financial goals and more abstract ones, such as getting more sleep. The modern relationship model serves him well: whenever he has a free 45-minute block.
Chris, 36, has the rules even more clearly defined. A fireman who is "happily divorced" with a child, he dates three women concurrently and has his game strategy down pat: two, three or four women, at various stages of overlap, with each relationship lasting four to six weeks.
The women, whose ages range from 26 to 37, are all aware of the situation. Typically, he says, they're sophisticated, stylish career types. "They're happy to be single and focus on their jobs. Every now and then they call me for a catch-up!"
Such a schedule takes dexterity and commitment. Or commitment to non-commitment. One of Chris's lady friends is booked in three weeks in advance to catch up.
He admits it can be tricky with the younger ones: "It's harder - there is a different mentality. Sometimes they can't get their head around it. You can see where they're coming from but if it's too much hard work you shrug your shoulders and walk away. There are other people to talk to."
Ladies, where did we go wrong? Is it simply a matter of numbers or does this signal a wider cultural shift? Did feminism free men from the bonds of fidelity? Is this the modern harem? The theory, I guess, is that we would rather be Girl Friday Night (only) than stay in with the cat and Richard Mercer.
What do we get out of the deal, if not full-time companionship and commitment? In her graphic novel The Sexual Life of Catherine M, the Parisian author Catherine Millet tallies the spoils of her libertine affairs as little more than "a pair of sparkly orange stockings that I have never worn, three thick 1930s bangles in bakelite ... a watch from a newsagent,a plastic brooch and a Japanese electric brand *****".
The website Polygamy.com presents arguments as to why plural marriage might be beneficial to women. It goes so far as to tout it as "the ultimate feminist lifestyle".
Says a devotee, Elizabeth Joseph: "My eight-year-old has never seen the inside of a day-care centre and my husband has never eaten a TV dinner. And I know that when I get home from work, if I'm dog-tired and stressed out, I can be alone and guilt-free. It's a rare day when all eight of my husband's wives are tired and stressed at the same time."
The site notes that plural marriage was accepted practice among early Hebrew communities, including several revered biblical figures such as Abraham, David and Solomon. Solomon was the busiest, he had 700 wives and 300 concubines.
Although the percentage of men who have more than one wife is relatively small, the Israeli anthropologist Joseph Ginat says up to one-third of the world's population belongs to a community that allows it. These are mainly in Africa, Asia and the Middle East.
At 36, the very current-day TV executive Alec* is happily playing the field. And who can blame him, really?
"I've got a good job, I'm not bad-looking and I've never been married," he says. "This is a pretty rare combination in Sydney, so I'm not short of opportunities. I don't need to settle for anything that doesn't completely suit me - so why should I?
"I guess it's like the old adage of, 'why buy the cow when you get the milk for free' - especially [when you can get it] in four different flavours."
Of course, there's no such thing as a free lunch, even though Sydney's a smorgasbord. Rob admits that juggling four dates becomes "exhausting - financially, emotionally and physically". Our hearts bleed. Clearly, they don't make men like they did in Solomon's day.
Could it be that Rob is getting tired of the game? Perhaps there's hope for us yet? After all, somewhere down page three of his list of Things He Wants To Achieve in 2006 is the small but not insignificant line: "Fall in love."
From experience, I'd say it's unlikely. Not for a few years, at least, until his "hit rate" starts to droop and the signs of his mortality kick in.
* Not their real names. Chris, however, is happy for the extra promotion.
Open polygamy: what's the problem? Share your views on the forums at radar.smh.com.au
Rachael Turk