Rescue mission- No spare, jack, lug wrench etc...

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Yeah, just as I was finishing up the well job at 7pm friday, my phone rings. My buddy went on about a 100 mi road trip in his miserable 4Runner and his [censored] front tire shreaded. No spare, no jack, no lug wrench, not even a screwdriver to get the center cap off. What is wrong with people? I had to travel 30 min to get his spare from his garage, then about 1.5hr to meet him on the side of the road near Philly then another 1.5hr home after he and his friend who came with me changed his spare.

I rag on him all the time about learning the basics of car ownership. Clean windows, air in and tread on the tires, a full crankcase, etc. BULB REPLACEMENT! He has a 97 4Runner that is beat to heck. Never has he done a single service until failure. I changed his air filter about 2 years ago, it looked original. Trans check light is on, CEL, the front end shakes and it has no brakes. A long time ago we shopped for a truck together to no avail and he came home with this one at twice the price he told me he would spend. It had cheap chrome American Racing wheels, window edge guards, press-on after market wood trim and inside smelled like the men's room at the United Nations and best of all it HAS a tow hitch, yay! he thinks the tow hitch is a good thing, even though he does not tow. I think they towed a 40 ft boat uphill both ways. It's rusted and has sorry paint. Until a year ago he always drove it totally dry of oil. It got a new head gasket 6 mo ago.

So, he says, it's been a good truck for him at 160k. I told him anyone can get 160k from a vehicle, the trick is 260k or 360k. Anyway, I think he is mental. He spends all his time and money on his ~crazy~ GF, who is a p0S. She drives his vehicles like a nut and destroys them inside and out. Filth and scum. No tools and a stupid plan. A smart guy too, just not with-it.

He suffers from a lot of Wishfull Thinking, that is my most accurate diagnosis. I just ordered a copy of Zenn and the Art of Motorcycle Maintence for him. I am out of patience.
 
Ah ...a programmed failure artist.
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You must be a VERY good pal to take all that time to help him out.

Time for him to act like a big boy. How old is this guy?
 
He's actually older than me, almost fiddy. We lived in the city after college and I moved to the country about 8 years ago, he did so 2 years ago. I was more of a car guy than he, so I learned lessons quickly about taking better care of the cars, especially for winter. It's really a life or death situation. Living in the city is totally different. Flat and square, plus you don't really go far from home or from rescue.

I'm saying it's a matter of priorities. His life is quite a bit a mess. The outrageous actions of his GF/SO is really eating him alive.
 
AJ, you're an enabler. Next time he calls have a story ready, like you have the engine out of your car and can't get it back together until the weekend is over.
 
Originally Posted By: Kestas
AJ, you're an enabler....


+1

AJ, from what I've seen here on BITOG, you seem like a genuinely good person. I think you have a friend who has learned he can take advantage of your good nature. If I were in your shoes, I'd find a way to put distance (not miles) between myself and this "friend".
 
I too have let people take advantage of my good, helpful nature in the past. You have to recognize the difference between being helpful and being a patsy, and treat these people accordingly.
 
You might tell him something to the effect that his girlfriend situation isn't working for him, and that (possibly as a consequence) his friendship situation isn't working for you. He may take offense but at this point you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
 
Audi Junkie your the ultimate car perfectionist and your friend is the ultimate car destroyer. how do you guys get along?
 
eljefino has an interesting thought that doesn't require excommunication. See if you can turn the position from enabler to enabled. See if you can complicate his dsyfunction routine even more with annoying and totally avoidable problems.

Got any annoying bad habits that you can share with him??
 
We've gone a long ways together, inc building several houses. Nixxing someone who is down-on-their-luck when they need you the most is wrong. people don't need to qualify for my help, but yeah, I hear everyone and they can DIS-qualify themselves.

He is not there yet. The other vehicle is the 1991 Audi I originally bought for the mother in law. I still work on the Audi, I refuse to work onthe 4-Runner. I have drawn a line there, and the sooner it dies the better.
 
AJ, Since cars and oil aren't the center of the universe and it sounds like you still want the guy as a friend, my 2 cents worth is...

Figure out how much you want to help the guy in the future, and lay it out to him in a friendly manner over a few beverages of your choice, then stick to what you tell him.

My suggestion is to continue to help him with maintenance but make it clear that you aren't in the roadside rescue business. Introduce him to AAA or some other towing service.
 
A-J, People don't change because you know they need it. You can be there to offer strategic life advice, but that is totally different from being there for life's everyday inconveniences. As long as you are there, his life is working totally fine.
 
Do we know *WHY* he didn't have a spare, a lug wrench, and a jack *IN* his truck? What kind of lame a_s excuse did he come up with to answer that question?

I'm sorry, but this guy is an idiot.
 
Originally Posted By: mrsilv04
Do we know *WHY* he didn't have a spare, a lug wrench, and a jack *IN* his truck? What kind of lame a_s excuse did he come up with to answer that question?

I'm sorry, but this guy is an idiot.


Maybe he was trying to save weight and gain more MPG in that guzzler
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