I'm dealing with this now with my parents. My dad really needs to go in a home, my mom can't handle the situation, but we legally cannot force them to. My dad blew way too much money when he was working, he had a great job and could have made things much better if he saved. Kids were both out of the house by the time they were in their early 40s and my dad worked right up until the cusp of his 70th birthday. He could have put 7 figures away if he wasn't an idiot about it. My sister and I were shocked to recently find out how little savings they had. Dad's company went public in the late 00s/early 10s and we found out recently that he didn't consult with a tax attorney and instead paid a $63K tax bill on that one. Mom screamed at him about that.
They're mainly living off of Social Security and minor pension payments. Probably the main source of wealth they have is their house. I'd like to get them to put all their assets in a trust so they can then accept some kind of help with a home for my dad without the state raiding their assets, but, my mom is so blase about the situation.
Worse, the house is so dirty now, that my wife doesn't want to let our 10 year old go over there. There was excrement all over the side of one of the toilets and the floor the last time we visited last weekend, that my mom hadn't cleaned up, from one of my dad's many explosive diarrhea episodes. I cleaned it up. Mom also refuses to force a diet on him that would help with this, she lets him eat what he wants with predictable outcomes.
At least they didn't die on their recent (hopefully last) trip to the West Coast with their ID.4. They bought it in 2022 and paid cash, I wonder how much of their savings they parted with to achieve that outcome.
Pray for them, and for me. I don't see this going well as they continue to age.
