Personal Attacks and Hostile Forum Behavior

[Hokiefyd]

I post a lot less lately. And the reason I post a lot less is this: I try to remember to ask myself a question before every post I make. That question is, "how does this post further the discussion?" If I can't come up with a reason why it has a positive influence on a discussion, I don't post it. There are plenty of opportunities to write negative things. I make an attempt at not being a part of that. I'm not perfect; I've done it in the past and I'm sure I'll do it again. But I also post less because I try to only post positive things.

I think if more people tried to build each other up instead of tear each other down, life would be more enjoyable in general. I guess the slices and dices of negatively do add flavor to the spice of life, though. Everything can't be pansies and roses, right?

 

[montero1]

Don't sweat it. As others have said, this place is MILD MILD MILD. On one of the other boards I frequent, everything turns into a religious, gun control, birth control, Democrat, Republican, police bashing (or police supporting) mess.

Someone could post:

"Boy it was a nice day"

Next post:


"Woulda been nicer if the Dummmo-rats weren't constantly bringing this country in the ground."


Retort:
"Oh, it was worse when Bush was in."


It then just spirals in to name calling, gay-bashing, and people googling each others name to find out where they live so they can fight in person. These are middle to upper class men in their 50s-60s-70s. When our current President was sworn in for the first term, I couldn't believe the racial garbage that was spewed around. The board seems to have gone downhill from there. Usually the trash talk is confined to the Off-topic forum, but a lot on the tech forum goes sour quickly as well. It's like once someone knows your stance on any major issue like gun control, abortion, your race, your religion, or your political party, they form an opinion of you and they either love you or hate you. Embarrasing.


At least on this board, the arguments are over opinion or who "knows more" than the other.

Just ignore it. Some people wake up wanting to pi** someone off everyday because they are so miserable.

 

[Art_Vandelay]

Originally Posted By: dparm
Dude, if someone is making personal attacks on you, use the "Notify" button. Creating a thread to complain about it accomplishes nothing and just starts another argument.


What argument does it start?

There's an entire thread above this titled Profanity. Why shouldn't there be one about Personal Attacks?

 

[OtisBlkR1]

Op, I agree in my short 3+ years on this site it HAS gotten a bit more rough around the edges. Even with that said this site is still a true wealth of information that goes way beyond motor oil.

We are the solution.

I also agree (respectfully) if its bad enuff, hit the Notify button and let a mod make a call. Starting a thread against another member is not the solution.

 

[Clevy]

Wow.
I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings art however on that particular night there were 10 dead thread resurections,4 ads about magnets in oil filters,and whatever else.
I was being a smart derrière and in no way was I trying to he a mean in any way. If I knew how to use those face thingies I would have inserted a few.
Anyways I apologize if I offended you,it was not the point of the post.

 

[Doog]

Well, as long as you are not using Royal Purple in a Prius, I'm Ok with most anything...

 

[montero1]

Originally Posted By: Clevy
Wow.
I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings art however on that particular night there were 10 dead thread resurections,4 ads about magnets in oil filters,and whatever else.
I was being a smart derrière and in no way was I trying to he a mean in any way. If I knew how to use those face thingies I would have inserted a few.
Anyways I apologize if I offended you,it was not the point of the post.


Hold hands...Kumbaya my Lord Kumbaya

 

[Nick R]

Anyone who reads some/many of my threads will know this is the case. I get a lot of [censored] from a lot of people over certain decisions. Gotta have a thick skin on the internet these days.

 

[tig1]

Originally Posted By: MolaKule
Hi Art,

I have been here since 2002 and have been attacked in all kinds of ways and with every imaginable form of language possible.

One learns to deal with it and grow a thicker skin.

And yes, I am guilty too of slamming someone against the wall (hopefully, it was a gentle slam for educational purposes), but only after all resonable efforts had been exhausted.

If some new data comes up that is applicable to an old thread, then IHMO, bring it up.

I think Clevy was just pulling your chain a bit but we can be more hospitable and civil.


I agree. Clevy was just probing. Actually I have found him to be a fair minded guy with a lot of experience, willing to discuss differances, especially on PMs. I try to keep it civil, but at times say things I later regret. As one wise man once said"no bodies perfect".

 

[gathermewool]

Originally Posted By: Art_Vandelay
Originally Posted By: dparm
Dude, if someone is making personal attacks on you, use the "Notify" button. Creating a thread to complain about it accomplishes nothing and just starts another argument.


What argument does it start?

There's an entire thread above this titled Profanity. Why shouldn't there be one about Personal Attacks?


Bringing up the topic is different than singling another member out. You singled some one out, which could be construed as harassment.

 

[Donald]

Originally Posted By: dparm
Dude, if someone is making personal attacks on you, use the "Notify" button. Creating a thread to complain about it accomplishes nothing and just starts another argument.


+1 on the NOTIFY option.

My Dad use to say the one who remains calm usually wins the argument.

 

[Clevy]

Originally Posted By: MolaKule
Hi Art,

I have been here since 2002 and have been attacked in all kinds of ways and with every imaginable form of language possible.

One learns to deal with it and grow a thicker skin.

And yes, I am guilty too of slamming someone against the wall (hopefully, it was a gentle slam for educational purposes), but only after all resonable efforts had been exhausted.

If some new data comes up that is applicable to an old thread, then IHMO, bring it up.

I think Clevy was just pulling your chain a bit but we can be more hospitable and civil.


Yes,I was.

This is a great thread though. I look forward to reading everyone's opinion on how the site has gotten so bad,or how in the gutter it's gotten.
If anything this is the most civil site I've ever been on.
Try svt art,and I appreciate all the attention,I shoulda done this around my birthday and gotten that thread hot.
Anyways I've apologized,I thought we were grown ups here however apparently art didn't get the response he was looking for when he did hit notify,so in order to get his desired effect he starts this thread.
I could have really ripped into the whole thing in the actual thread this happened in however I chose to drop it,because it solves nothing,yet Art doesn't want it dropped.
So carry on. I'll monitor this thread as I'm thinking it should be a good one,and now I'm gonna read about oil.

 

[TechnoLoGs]

Originally Posted By: gathermewool
Originally Posted By: LeakySeals
If you start a new thread on an old topic your told "its been discussed many times" with a link to an old thread. If you respond on the old thread your told to "stop resurrecting old threads". The BITOG circle of doom.


Fool, you know we can't talk about the BITOG circle of doom! Are you drunk!?


"I'll beat you in a hole dead, boy!"

 

[TechnoLoGs]

Originally Posted By: Donald
Originally Posted By: dparm
Dude, if someone is making personal attacks on you, use the "Notify" button. Creating a thread to complain about it accomplishes nothing and just starts another argument.


+1 on the NOTIFY option.

My Dad use to say the one who remains calm usually wins the argument.


The pen is mightier than the sword. - Sun Tzu

"Is better to keep mouth closed and be thought fool, than to speak and remove all doubt." - Confucius

"When going on the road for revenge, dig two graves." - Genghis Khan

"He who has made plans to negotiate has already lost the battle." - The Art of War

How far off in my quotes am I?

 

[TechnoLoGs]

“Thus we may know that there are five essentials for victory:
1 He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.
2 He will win who knows how to handle both superior and inferior forces.
3 He will win whose army is animated by the same spirit throughout all its ranks.
4 He will win who, prepared himself, waits to take the enemy unprepared.
5 He will win who has military capacity and is not interfered with by the sovereign.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

 

[Art_Vandelay]

Originally Posted By: Clevy
Wow.
I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings art however on that particular night there were 10 dead thread resurections,4 ads about magnets in oil filters,and whatever else.
I was being a smart derrière and in no way was I trying to he a mean in any way. If I knew how to use those face thingies I would have inserted a few.
Anyways I apologize if I offended you,it was not the point of the post.

Originally Posted By: Clevy

I could have really ripped into the whole thing in the actual thread this happened in however I chose to drop it


That's some contradiction. First you apologize and claim no ill intent. Then 20 minutes later you boast that you could have ripped into the whole thing further.

Ripped into what?

 

[TechnoLoGs]

The best thing to do with passing jabs is to buy a Volvo (apparently) and let it fly.

Maybe, I'll buy one on credit from a used car lot. Art can confirm that it is better to have varied "types" of credit. The only question would be what kind of Volvo to buy. I'm not trading in my 4.3. Maybe my Ford, though. 2000 F-150.

Since it seems I was destined to have one.

 

[Doog]

Do unto others before they do unto you...then run like crazy

 

[Doog]

He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future.

 

[Clevy]

Originally Posted By: Art_Vandelay
Originally Posted By: Clevy
Wow.
I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings art however on that particular night there were 10 dead thread resurections,4 ads about magnets in oil filters,and whatever else.
I was being a smart derrière and in no way was I trying to he a mean in any way. If I knew how to use those face thingies I would have inserted a few.
Anyways I apologize if I offended you,it was not the point of the post.

Originally Posted By: Clevy

I could have really ripped into the whole thing in the actual thread this happened in however I chose to drop it


That's some contradiction. First you apologize and claim no ill intent. Then 20 minutes later you boast that you could have ripped into the whole thing further.

Ripped into what?


Your response.
Anyways I'm not dignifying this thread with another response. Cry if you gonna