Personal Attacks and Hostile Forum Behavior

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Art_Vandelay

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BITOG is a community where like-minded people come to learn, relax and just enjoy themselves. I've always found it to be a respectful place and a cut above other internet forums. A lot of great people here.

The other night I responded to an older thread by quoting Doug Hillary and simply saying, "Bring back the glory days of BITOG." If nothing else it's a compliment to Doug and to this site overall. Here it is:

Originally Posted By: Doug Hillary
Have no doubt, every version of Mobil 1 and its Commercial "brothers" branded as Delvac are leaders in base fluid technology and Additive package construction. Some people may say that for the price they represent the very best lubricants available!

Regards
Doug

Originally Posted By: Doug Hillary
Any equivalent Royal Purple, Amsoil or M1 product with matching specifications will perform at almost similar levels in an identical application - the variance in the life of the engine will be virtually undetectable


Originally Posted By: Art_Vandelay
Bring back the Glory Days of BITOG!


Then the user "Clevy" decides to slam me for posting. Remarking that I'm a Drunk Member for replying to an old thread.
I don't expect to be subjected to that sort of hostility when I visit this site.
Personal attacks are more serious than Profanity, in the sense that they are directed hate, rather than inappropriate language used at random.

Should anyone have to put up with that on here?

Here is the rest of the exchange:

Originally Posted By: Clevy
Holy thread resurrection. This thread is 4 years old. How many pages back did you have to go to find this. And why even comment. Dead and loathed thread brought back by a drunk member reading pages 80 back.


Originally Posted By: Art_Vandelay
Hey bro, watch the way you talk to me.


Originally Posted By: Clevy
I think I did as I wrote it,and by your reaction I stand by my comment.
However as an edit dead and loathed should read dead and bloated,auto spell biting me in the rear.


The notify button is bottom right if it concerns you so


Originally Posted By: Art_Vandelay
I'll tell you what concerns me. A goodwill forum tarnished by the disrespect of a hostile participant.

Perhaps you can tell us why resurrecting an open thread, which is open for a reason, seduces you into personally attacking someone?
Calling me a "Drunk Member" is a belligerent thing to do. Something like that should never be tolerated on a website that prides itself on cordial discourse and respect amongst its members.


You know what it comes down to? Respect. Everyone who comes on here is entitled to it and no one should be entitled to get in the way of it.
 
Originally Posted By: Art_Vandelay
BITOG is a community where like-minded people come to learn, relax and just enjoy themselves. I've always found it to be a respectful place and a cut above other internet forums. A lot of great people here.

The other night I responded to an older thread by quoting Doug Hillary and simply saying, "Bring back the glory days of BITOG." If nothing else it's a compliment to Doug and to this site overall. Here it is:

Originally Posted By: Doug Hillary
Have no doubt, every version of Mobil 1 and its Commercial "brothers" branded as Delvac are leaders in base fluid technology and Additive package construction. Some people may say that for the price they represent the very best lubricants available!

Regards
Doug

Originally Posted By: Doug Hillary
Any equivalent Royal Purple, Amsoil or M1 product with matching specifications will perform at almost similar levels in an identical application - the variance in the life of the engine will be virtually undetectable


Originally Posted By: Art_Vandelay
Bring back the Glory Days of BITOG!


Then the user "Clevy" decides to slam me for posting. Remarking that I'm a Drunk Member for replying to an old thread.
I don't expect to be subjected to that sort of hostility when I visit this site.
Personal attacks are more serious than Profanity, in the sense that they are directed hate, rather than inappropriate language used at random.

Should anyone have to put up with that on here?

Here is the rest of the exchange:

Originally Posted By: Clevy
Holy thread resurrection. This thread is 4 years old. How many pages back did you have to go to find this. And why even comment. Dead and loathed thread brought back by a drunk member reading pages 80 back.


Originally Posted By: Art_Vandelay
Hey bro, watch the way you talk to me.


Originally Posted By: Clevy
I think I did as I wrote it,and by your reaction I stand by my comment.
However as an edit dead and loathed should read dead and bloated,auto spell biting me in the rear.


The notify button is bottom right if it concerns you so


Originally Posted By: Art_Vandelay
I'll tell you what concerns me. A goodwill forum tarnished by the disrespect of a hostile participant.

Perhaps you can tell us why resurrecting an open thread, which is open for a reason, seduces you into personally attacking someone?
Calling me a "Drunk Member" is a belligerent thing to do. Something like that should never be tolerated on a website that prides itself on cordial discourse and respect amongst its members.


You know what it comes down to? Respect. Everyone who comes on here is entitled to it and no one should be entitled to get in the way of it.



Art, your mutual friend (fixed the kid's bike? That's me) agrees with you.

Yes, that's me.

Good to see you on here as well good sir!
thumbsup2.gif


I can say that this board has been nothing but a help. What is going on with my truck at this time, my second one, the S-10.. is unreal and suspicious. But it will get back to good, since I do not believe that people are "out to get me." I am even about to go pay the man, though I know I should wait until it runs properly.

Let's keep BITOG well and "can't we all just get along."

And thank you for that swell letter on Youtube, Art. Sure did make my day. You are right, I'm still keeping on!! And the photos of me as a youngin'
laugh.gif
 
I hear ya, but sometimes it's better off to ignore someone, especially on the internet. If it happens all the time, then I could see it bothering someone.
 
I sorta think the forum is very civil for the most part. Sometimes we see a passing jab, but that's about it, and it adds to levity.
 
Some idiot always has to be the 'One Upper' and the know it all.

That same idiot will trash others and cause people to leave BITOG with their childish behavior.
 
Dude, if someone is making personal attacks on you, use the "Notify" button. Creating a thread to complain about it accomplishes nothing and just starts another argument.
 
You do read things on here occasionally that are "upsetting", however if you spend some time on other forums, you will be shocked at the lack of civility compared to here.
 
lol looks like the ol' Clevster was just being a smarty pants

Not the most tactful manner of approach, and certainly not worth taking personally.
cheers3.gif
 
Originally Posted By: jrustles
lol looks like the ol' Clevster was just being a smarty pants

Not the most tactful manner of approach, and certainly not worth taking personally.
cheers3.gif



This.

Also just use the notify button. No need to start a thread but I do commend you for bringing this topic up.
 
Actually I've come to see BITOG as one of the most civil forums I've been on. The occasional jab is nothing compared to what else is out there. But I agree that it should never happen at all. Ad hominem attacks on internet forums have come the norm.
frown.gif
 
If you start a new thread on an old topic your told "its been discussed many times" with a link to an old thread. If you respond on the old thread your told to "stop resurrecting old threads". The BITOG circle of doom.
 
Before getting offended, I always try to remember that tone of voice, facial expression, and vocal inflection just do NOT come across in text. Read what he said again, and this time try to hear it in the voice of your best friend ribbing you for doing something he/she would think is silly. If that doesn't make it acceptable, THEN use the notify button.

Just my opinion... I've been having internet conversations for close to 25 years now, and I gave up letting people get under my skin close to 20 years ago. Its just not worth it.

And FWIW, this forum is easily the most consistently civil one I've ever been on, which is amazing given how large and well-known it is. Its easy for a forum with 20 members to be civil all the time, what BITOG achieves is in another realm altogether.
 
The mindless hatred of Royal Purple products from some posters undermines the credibility of BITOG. If there cannot be even a remotely fair discussion about RP, then the topic should, sadly, be banned.
 
Hi Art,

I have been here since 2002 and have been attacked in all kinds of ways and with every imaginable form of language possible.

One learns to deal with it and grow a thicker skin.

And yes, I am guilty too of slamming someone against the wall (hopefully, it was a gentle slam for educational purposes), but only after all resonable efforts had been exhausted.

If some new data comes up that is applicable to an old thread, then IHMO, bring it up.

I think Clevy was just pulling your chain a bit but we can be more hospitable and civil.
 
Last edited:
Originally Posted By: hypervish
This site has been going downhill for awhile now.

And a reminder for us all to be providing content and interaction that makes the site go uphill. Don't be the person described in the bumper sticker "the more people I meet the more I like my cat"
 
Originally Posted By: NJC
Originally Posted By: hypervish
This site has been going downhill for awhile now.

And a reminder for us all to be providing content and interaction that makes the site go uphill. Don't be the person described in the bumper sticker "the more people I meet the more I like my cat"


I agree, the change starts with us.
 
Originally Posted By: LeakySeals
If you start a new thread on an old topic your told "its been discussed many times" with a link to an old thread. If you respond on the old thread your told to "stop resurrecting old threads". The BITOG circle of doom.


Fool, you know we can't talk about the BITOG circle of doom! Are you drunk!?
 
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