Pearls of wizzDumb from Auto Parts Clerks?

[GSV]

Have you been told any particularlly funny BS by clerks at a car parts store? Please post the funny ones.

One guy at a NAPA told me recently that synthetic gear lubes do not stick to metal gears like conventional so the protection is nowhere near as good.

 

[Al]

Thats why he is an auto parts guy and not a lubrication engineer

 

[eljefino]

I was told to get NGK spark plugs for my saturn s-series by a salesdroid because "(saturns) are made in japan."

I asked then what was the point of homecomings in Spring Hill, Tennessee?

(tho NGK and saturn seem to work well together)

 

[Dan4510]

Needed a voltage regulator for the dashboard on a mopar. Napa lists it as IR9. Went in to buy one and the sales droid claimed they did not carry any item like that. He wouldnt even look the part number up on the compter.

I told him to get the electrical book, flipped it open and pointed it out to him. Then called his boss over and asked whether it was policy to try and not sell parts to customers when you had them in stock. Especially when the customer had to look them up for themselves.

Got a steep discount on that one.

Dan

[ December 20, 2003, 04:18 PM: Message edited by: Dan4510 ]

 

[uconn1150]

quote:

---

Originally posted by eljefino:
I was told to get NGK spark plugs for my saturn s-series by a salesdroid because "(saturns) are made in japan."

I asked then what was the point of homecomings in Spring Hill, Tennessee?

(tho NGK and saturn seem to work well together)

---

Aren't Saturns basically rebadged Toyota Drivetrains?

 

[Titanium_Alloy]

Hi,

I don't have parts clerks’ stories, but I have a good one from service departments recently.

I wanted to flush my tranny this week and since my mechanic was busy (and mostly specializes in Hondas) I called a few places which do tranny service.

Called dealer, price 175 for flush and filter, they charge another $50

for gasket.
Dialog:
- Me : "Hi can you do tranny flush with my synthetic Dexron III and how much would it cost?"
- Service idiot: Why do you want synthetic?
- Me: want a better protection and longer drain interval
- SI: we use factory fluid, which is already synthetic
- Me: [silence, shocked completely] how much would it be?
- SI: I don't know why you need synthetic, we already use synthetic. It would be $18 cheaper with your fluid.
[Wow, tranny takes 10-12 quarts, they have synthetic Dexron III at $1.50 per quart. Do you know where I can find it guys?

]

Called AAMCO:
- Me: "Hi how much would it be to do a tranny flush with my own fluid and filter?"
- SI: "We don't do that!!!"
- Me: [ in complete shock, tranny shop which doesn't do tranny fluid change] "Why?"
- SI: "Warranty issues. We have to use everything of our own"
- Me: "I have a standard synthetic Dexron III approved fluid for my car. What if you use your own filter and gasket?"
- SI: "I told you NO!!!"
- Me: [in shock hang up the phone]

Called AAA approved shop
-Me: "Hi, can you do tranny flush with my own fluid?"
-SI: "Yes, but in that case we guarantee nothing"
-Me: [hang up, AAA approved shop which doesn't guarantee work they do, KOOL]

Called specialized tranny shop
-Me: "Hi, can you do tranny flush with my own fluid?"
-SI: "Yes, what car do you have?"
-Me: "Regular GM with 4t40e tranny"
-SI: "Yea, we know that tranny. Do you want to do a flush or a filter and gasket change as well?"
- Me: "Drop and clean the pan and do a flush"
- SI: "That would be $130 with our own filter and gasket. "
- Me: "OK, how much fluid does it need?"
- SI: "Typically 6-7 quarts"
- Me: [in shock once again, can you tell me guys how to flush and refill a tranny which holds 10-12 quarts with only 6-7? They obviously weren't going to do a flush, maybe drop a pan and clean (not replace a filter) in the best case] " OK"
- SI: "What are you going to use?"
- Me: "Mobil 1"
- SI: "Why do you need Mobil 1?"
- Me: [not willing to explain it to this retard/thief] "I just want it"
- SI: " Yea, $130. You know you have to do flush every year"
- Me: [hang up]

I decided to wait a few days and go to my mechanic.

Do we have any honest, fair and knowledgeable mechanics left?

By the way if you know good mechanics or you are the one in West Bay Area, CA give me a phone or address.

Regards,

 

[Pablo]

TNTC

Typically goes like this:

Him: Here's your part.
Me: That's not the right part.
Him: Yes it is, the computer says so.

 

[medic]

Getting a tranny filter for my truck.

"I need a transmission filter for a '97 Ford F-150 with a 4r70w transmission."

clerk - "Does it have A/C?"
me - yep
clerk - automatic or manual?
me - automatic (I wanted to say DUH)
cleak - what is the 6th letter in the vin?
me - I don't know, I think it's W, but you want to know if it is a 280ci or a 281ci right?
clerk - uh huh
me - 281
clerk - (I forgot the numbers but i think it went like this) Do you have the 14 bolt pan or the 17 bolt pan.
me - I don't know, it's a 4r70w!

Or

While looking for GC at AutoZone I had picked up the 6 on the shelf, but wanted another 6 if they had them. I asked the guy if they had anymore. He said they might and he'd look. I told him to make sure it said "Made in Germany" on it and explained that this was a different formula than the rest of the 0w-30 on the shelf. He responded with "You don't want that crappy german stuff, they don't know $h!t about oil"

 

[Neonmike22]

quote:

---

Originally posted by medic:
Getting a tranny filter for my truck.
clerk - (I forgot the numbers but i think it went like this) Do you have the 14 bolt pan or the 17 bolt pan.
me - I don't know, it's a 4r70w!

---

Heh, that always frustrated me about working at autozone. The computer always assumed that i was dumb enough to not understand what the customer was asking, OR i was so smart i knew how many bolts the pan had.

 

[Les]

I was buying some NGK plugs for my old LS1 Z28 and the auto parts store employee said "you need to get some of those new Iridium plugs. They dynoed a Mustang after putting them in and it gained 50 horsepower."

I told him I would think about it but in the meantime just give me the plugs I asked for.

Les

 

[Bob Woods]

Ruthenium, rhodium, palladium, osmium, iridium, and platinum together make up a group of elements referred to as the platinum group metals (PGM).

From your friendly periodic table. Whats the big deal about Iridium plugs.

 

[sprintman]

See www.ngkspark.com.au for Iridium story and flame pattern pictures etc.

 

[Matt89]

Here's my addition:

Went to the Honda parts guy to pick up some ATF (was going to drain and fill it). The fellow said I needed to drain and fill it every 15K miles.
When I pointed out that the "normal" service interval was 90K and the "Severe" interval was 30K, he said "Yeah, but here (I was in Virginia at the time) you need to do it more often because of the hot days and cold nights we have."

I guess Honda set those intervals only for people who run or park their cars at room temperature?

 

[hannaco]

Called the dealer today to see if they had any vacuum hose in stock. The poor clerk had the required "What?" response. He said he mostly knew about Mazdas, not VWs. Had to describe the vacuum hose as black and round. He tried to look it up on the computer and said it only showed black and white. I'll try on Monday when the normal person is in.

 

[shortyb]

Had to get a battery quick so went to nearest auto-parts place. Told 15 year-old counter stooge I wanted a 34R. He exclaimed, " No you don't, that ones got reversed polarity!". I said no, its just the positive and negative terminals are reversed as opposed to the 34. Wouldn't sell me the battery "Cuz you would blow up and kill yourself. Then you'd try to sue me." I asked when the aliens were coming back for him. Proceeded to Interstate outlet.

 

[JohnnyO]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Matt89:
"Yeah, but here (I was in Virginia at the time) you need to do it more often because of the hot days and cold nights we have."

---

Not car-related but that reminds me of an episode of Monster House a while back. Host asks the "electrician" why he's taking so long. His response, "The wire is metal and the hole is in wood, so it's hard."

Their later exchange went like this:
Host: "You're not really an electrician, are you?"
Dude: "No."
Host: "You lied on your application, didn't you?"
Dude: "Yes."
Host: "Give me your microphone and get out of here."
Great moments in television.

 

[jsharp]

Not a dumb parts guy story but a funny one anyway.

I was in a Dodge dealer in the mid eighties buying parts for my POS 1974 Dodge van. While I'm at the parts counter I ask the guy to look up the price of the molded rubber floor mats since both of mine were far past worn out.

The guy looks in a few books, double checks some things, keys some numbers into the computer and then goes back to what he was doing to finish my other purchase.

So ask him - "Hey, how much are those mats?"

The guy looks at me really seriously and says "You don't want to know." He shakes his head and goes back to what he was doing.

I finally get the number out of him and he was right. $57 each...

 

[ToyotaNSaturn]

quote:

---

Originally posted by uconn1150:
Aren't Saturns basically rebadged Toyota Drivetrains?

---

No. ION has the GM EcoTech 2.2L motor with a 5spd auto or manual. The coupe has the VTi trans as the automatic option (bad idea).

The Saturn Vue offers the EcoTech with either an east-European VTi trans (real bad idea) or a Honda 3.5L v6 and Honda 5spd Auto, the exact same as in the Honda Pilot.

Saturn's L-series has the same EcoTech motor or the 3.0L V6 engine, from the Saab line, I think.

 

[ToyotaNSaturn]

quote:

---

Originally posted by eljefino:
I was told to get NGK spark plugs for my saturn s-series by a salesdroid because "(saturns) are made in japan."

I asked then what was the point of homecomings in Spring Hill, Tennessee?

---

Saturns are made in Japan? Hmmm. Then what REALLY goes on at that BIG building down the road from my house? LOL

[ December 31, 2003, 06:06 PM: Message edited by: ToyotaNSaturn ]

 

[VaderSS]

Buying brake pads for my 1973 Corolla 1200 Order them from HiLo, now Oreilly, as they are the only chain that has them listed. After waiting a week, they arrive and are the 1600 pads, which will fit..., as long as I don't want to put something like a ROTOR in between them.

I tell the guy that those are the 1600 pads, and that I need the 1200 pads. He looks at my take-offs and says(and this is when pads still had asbestos in them), "Just grind them down."

I handed them back, went to the local import car specific place, and paid triple for the correct pad, but at least it WAS the correct pad.

As far as parts that were WRONG, with the response, "That's what I show in the book/computer." Well, I could fill a book...