On death and dying and the aftermath

[Ws6]

As I get ready to leave middle age in the rear view mirror, I realize when I die, especially if it were soonish and sudden, what I left behind would be a mess. My mother died last year, and was incredibly organized, down to having an envelope full of money for her own funeral as well as having picked out and bought her own tomb stone in advance. She had no debt, and made her checking account POD to me. Sorting things after she passed was still incredibly complex and annoying in all the legal documents and fees required, even though I was her sole heir, she had very little, and nothing was contested. Myself? I have no heirs, and my finances, while fine, are best described as "Byzantine". I also have land, a home, lots of other stuff, some paid off, some financed. I have no clue where or how it would be dispersed or who could even do that, except the few things TODing to my father, who himself is in his 70s. Where is a good place to start with all this, and is something like a will going to cover it all? It seems a bit of a 800# gorilla.

 

[xspeedy]

You may want to talk to an estate attorney. You can create a trust or do something to when you die, your assets go into a trust. You could donate the proceeds to a charity or an alma mater. A will may also work, but the attorney can give you the best method in consideration of your situation. I dealt with this when my mom passed a few years ago.

 

[xspeedy]

duplicate deleted

 

[wavinwayne]

You may want to talk to an estate attorney.

This. Explain all of your concerns to them and decide exactly what you want to happen to all your stuff. The estate attorney can make sure all of the legal paperwork is in order so that your wishes are carried out. May you live long and prosper.

 

[02SE]

I had to handle this for my parents. I got an Estate Attorney to spell everything out per my parents wishes. The wife and I also have a Trust and Will.

If you care what happens to your Estate after you're gone. Talk to an Estate Attorney and make it legal.

 

[Zee09]

I'm in the same boat as WS6.
Soon I'll pick someone out of the phone book.... no drama that way

 

[KCJeep]

I’m listed.

 

[KCJeep]

Seriously my folks are at end of life and aging out in place I am not looking forward to what is coming.

 

[eljefino]

The attorney's a great idea... generally when structured right trusts can do an end run around probate and everything gets settled way faster and easier.

 

[skyactiv]

I'm in the same boat as WS6.
Soon I'll pick someone out of the phone book.... no drama that way

Leave your washer and dryer in your will to @AutoMechanic.

 

[dnewton3]

After dealing with my parents passing in the last few years, I have come to the realization that one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids (or whomever your heirs would be), is the effort to simplify your life and streamline your assets, etc.
- make sure your estate is planned (wills, trusts, directives, funeral, etc)
- consolidate your insurance policies, etc
- consolidate your banking and investment accounts
- clean out your house of anything that isn't necessary or which has been specifically requested (many older folks think their furniture and chatle is "priceless", but in fact, it's nearly worthless in this IKEA world of turnkey garbage). Seriously, if you've had to clear out a property of old folks' stuff, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

 

[walterjay]

I'm in the same boat as WS6.
Soon I'll pick someone out of the phone book.... no drama that way

You can send it to me. But I don't think I need the lathes.

 

[Pablo]

Who wants my guns?

 

[RDY4WAR]

You may want to talk to an estate attorney. You can create a trust or do something to when you die, your assets go into a trust. You could donate the proceeds to a charity or an alma mater. A will may also work, but the attorney can give you the best method in consideration of your situation. I dealt with this when my mom passed a few years ago.

This is the right answer. However, vet the attorney extensively and read every word, every letter, of fine print. A friend's grandmother went to an attorney to handle this when she went into a nursing home. She didn't read everything, just blindly trusted he knew what he was doing and signed the papers. When my friend and I read through it a few months later, the attorney had made it where everything she had went to him including her house, car, bank account, life insurance, etc... and her family would get nothing. We immediately got a different attorney to redo the will and trust, and went over everything he typed up with a fine tooth comb.

 

[RDY4WAR]

Who wants my guns?

Dibs.

 

[dnewton3]

Who wants my guns?

dibs!

Darn it, R4W beat me to it.
Drat.

 

[rstcso]

Who wants my guns?

Will they be in a safe/cabinet... or will it be necessary to pry them from your cold, dead hands?

Just asking for a friend of a friend.

 

[John105]

I was in a board room with a high powered wealthy person talking to attorneys and accountants, and I’ll always remember these words.

“Mr. So and So, when you pass on, your assets go to three places. Your heirs, charity, and a taxing authority. My job is to make sure the least amount goes to the taxing authority.”

 

[rstcso]

- clean out your house of anything that isn't necessary or which has been specifically requested (many older folks think their furniture and chatle is "priceless", but in fact, it's nearly worthless in this IKEA world of turnkey garbage). Seriously, if you've had to clear out a property of old folks' stuff, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

My wife and I have lived in this house 25+ years. Several years ago, we started slowly going through stuff and asking the kids if they wanted <fill-in-the-blank>. I can count on one hand the times any of the kids said "Yes, I want that!". This includes all their cr@p they didn't want to throw away when they moved out, but "didn't have room for it". We still have a long way to go, but our time is getting shorter. So far this year, we've buried my wife's mom and older brother, and this past weekend, my kid's Grandpa (my ex-FIL).

 

[ATex7239]

After dealing with my parents passing in the last few years, I have come to the realization that one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids (or whomever your heirs would be), is the effort to simplify your life and streamline your assets, etc.
- make sure your estate is planned (wills, trusts, directives, funeral, etc)
- consolidate your insurance policies, etc
- consolidate your banking and investment accounts
- clean out your house of anything that isn't necessary or which has been specifically requested (many older folks think their furniture and chatle is "priceless", but in fact, it's nearly worthless in this IKEA world of turnkey garbage). Seriously, if you've had to clear out a property of old folks' stuff, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

This.

Especially cleaning up your property. Some of the “collectors” around here should go clean up someone else’s mess to get an idea what they will be doing to their loved ones. And before anyone chimes in with all my stuff can be sold or has sentimental value I’ve helped cleaned up a few cluttered properties and no one has the time or desire to organize and sell other people’s stuff. Most of it ends up in a dumpster or donated.