Loosing a best friend to their new GF

JHZR2

Staff member
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New Jersey
Originally Posted By: fdcg27
It sounds as though your friend has had only limited experience with women. There's a term for what he's experiencing that ends in "whipped". He'll get over that. Meanwhile, she's in control.
That was my first thought. Some men are ok with being controlled. And I think that has always been the case, this isn't a modern society/women's lib type deal. Whether the friend is being how he is out of being controlled, being over the moon in love, or something else is not the business of anyone, though certainly it can harm relationships and even people. Unfortunately, discussion or action can destroy the friendship, though it may make sense to discuss with him in private sone time.
 
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USA
That happens in your 20's very normal. Learn to be happy alone and you'll be a very happy person in life and with others.
 
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Iowa
Originally Posted By: LT4 Vette
Maybe his GF can offer him some thing you can't ? I'm just saying....
Beat me to it! Also, like others have said, relationships wax and wane. Heck, my best friend and I went through a phase where we didn't see each other for nearly months on end. Now we work together in our own shop. Give it time for the novelty of getting laid to lay off and he'll come around.
 
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7,180
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CT
Some guys like being controlled, so if he is one of them you won't see him very much anymore, and when you do she will be around making him feel miserable for wanting to talk to someone besides her, and drink to much, etc. Such is life. My best friends fiancee just moved into his house and its been a month since I saw him...right before she moved in was the last time we hung out on the boat. Go figure! I don't expect to be seeing to much of him for quite awhile. OTOH I just picked up a new shooting buddy to replace him...a 32 year old Italian girl... Not everyone does it though, I still hang out with a few friends who are now married and have kids. Instead of the late night weekend partying you just move on to homeowner projects with them and daytime BBQ's so the kids can play. Next as the kids get older will come baseball games and taking the kids out on the boats to beach's so they can swim. Life changes as you move along it, enjoy it don't fight it. IMHO their is nothing sadder than someone in the late 30's or 40's at a club trying to pretend they are half their age, grow up already.
 
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Dallas,Tx USA
Originally Posted By: hattaresguy
IMHO their is nothing sadder than someone in the late 30's or 40's at a club trying to pretend they are half their age, grow up already.
^^THIS!! Especially these middle aged moms who still think they're in high school,they're all like,"OMG,I`m so drunk!! Look at me,look at me,I'm so cute!!" God that's beyond pathetic! I know a few who are like that.
 
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gulf coast FL.U.S.
Originally Posted By: aquariuscsm
Originally Posted By: hattaresguy
IMHO their is nothing sadder than someone in the late 30's or 40's at a club trying to pretend they are half their age, grow up already.
^^THIS!! Especially these middle aged moms who still think they're in high school,they're all like,"OMG,I`m so drunk!! Look at me,look at me,I'm so cute!!" God that's beyond pathetic! I know a few who are like that.
Middle aged moms? Send'em my way would 'ya ,i'll make 'em feel young again
 
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5,466
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Buckley, Wa.
redhat.....I'm 51 years old. Had a "friend" like that. We used to do everything together....always had time for our friendship. Then......the dreaded FEMALE of the species entered into the picture!! Yes, it often curtails many a buddy. If this Jim guy is not used to being with women in an intimate fashion....she may very well have gotten him under her spell. It's a powerful thing. In my case the fella I thought was my best friend, turned out to just be a mess in ALL of his relationships. I wasted many years of my life thinking he was going to ever be a real friend. I have no idea of course what is going on here for sure....but keep in mind that the world is full of people to meet and become friends with. I know from a bit of experience that Western NY can be a wasteland if you don't get out and participate in something you enjoy. Why sweat over this guy? You've got the other friend, right? Move onward and upward and let this guy be hen-pecked and whipped in his little trailer. He may someday come around....or not. And so what.
 
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california
20 summers ago My Good friend fell in love with a woman whom everybody disliked. I personally found her contemptible on every level. He was the youngest of a large group of friends, and all the elders took him aside for a delicate word, but all he did was dig in his heels. Had to prove everybody wrong I guess, and we all just kind of said, 'well he loves her and that's that', and pretended for his sake that we didn't despise her, and apparently we were good actors. I'd moved away shortly after and their relationship deepened. 10 years later, despite much evidence she was incredibly unstable, and unlikeable, he married her. I was in the wedding party. Took him aside the day before, and mostly held my peace, after that didn't work. In the Limo to the ceremony the best man made a toast, and somebody else passed a noxious cloud of gas, and that sums up his life ever since. While a talented guy, and good in his chosen field, he was stunted by this woman. Everybody who met his wife was like: "What is wrong with this guy, that he would marry her?" She drove away all his friends, one by one. The Wives of those friends were like "No way am I hanging out with that woman, subjecting my children to that woman!" And soon after her true venomous nature was revealed. It never took long. As a life long bachelor, every time I felt lonely, like I wanted a woman in my life, all I had to do, and still do now, is think about her. He didn't produce the dollar signs she had expected and soon she made his life a living heck. She herself could not hold a job, kept getting fired, or "let go" as she liked to say but the truth was she is a nutbag and everybody who hired her was soon looking for an excuse to fire her, and did, as soon as they could, in some cases throwing overly generous severance packages just to be rid of her. Still, they produced two kids and I feel so bad for them as they act like her. I find them intolerable even though they call(ed)? me uncle. They were soon disincluded from many gatherings due to her, and the kids. He found out and told us all to eff off. Oh well. Now he is Finally getting a divorce. She has truly gone off the deep end with substance abuse and forays into lesbianism as well as apparently screwing any guy who will have her. He is just a shell of the friend I once knew. I don't think we are friends anymore. I wish I could go back 20 years and not change my own mistakes, but pick him up by his hair and slap him silly. He had the world by the short and curlies then, could have had any woman he raised an eyebrow at, yet he chose a psychotic shrew. His brother calls her the biggest tragedy ever to befall out group of friends. This woman ruined his life. Perhaps I am not a good friend now, but I certainly was not good enough of a friend then, to let him get wrapped within her evil clutches. I really wish I made more of an effort then. We all do. What A fool. What a shame. So it goes.
 
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