Lawyer joke

[gman2304]

How do you tell the difference between where a lawyer has been ran over by a car and a snake has been ran over by a car? There’s skid marks right before the snake!

 

[Number_35]

Hey now, you know it's only 98% of the lawyers who spoil it for all the rest.

Just kidding! We have a beloved brother-in-law and a close friend who are lawyers and great people.

 

[wpod]

Everyone hater lawyers except the one that wins your case.

 

[55hambone]

How many lawyer jokes are there? Just two. All of the other stuff is true.

 

[ripcord]

Old proverb. One lawyer in town starves to death. Two lawyers get rich.

 

[Lubener]

How many lawyer jokes are there? Just two. All of the other stuff is true.

The third one is when they hand you the bill.

 

[K-Man]

What do you call 1,000 lawyers up to their necks in concrete?

Not enough concrete.

 

[K-Man]

Why don't sharks ever attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

 

[skyactiv]

What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue!

 

[dadto2]

A lawyer and a priest die and go to heaven. St. Peter is giving them the tour, and shows the lawyer to a huge luxurious room with a soft bed and silk sheets. Then he shows the priest to a 6x10 cell with a cot and a hard wooden chair. The priest protests that he should get such a spartan room after spending a lifetime serving God, and St. Peter replies "Listen, we have thousands of priests up here, but he's our first lawyer!"

 

[Snagglefoot]

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a carp? One’s a bottom feeding slime sucker and the other one’s a fish.

 

[Duffyjr]

What do you call 1,000 lawyers up to their necks in concrete?

Not enough concrete.

A good start though!

 

[brianl703]

What do you say to a lawyer with an IQ of 70?

"Good morning, your Honor"...