Just lost my dad.
- Thread starter R18Civic
- Start date
Very sorry for your loss. Condolences to you and your family. Sorry you didn't have the best relationship. Grieving is normal and we all do it in different ways. Hopefully there are positives from past that you can recall. Just going to see him was a huge step for both.
My dad passed 4 years ago from multiple declining health issues. I still get choked up thinking of it but then also reflect on the all the great things he taught our family. I still pass them on to many.
My dad passed 4 years ago from multiple declining health issues. I still get choked up thinking of it but then also reflect on the all the great things he taught our family. I still pass them on to many.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Sorry to hear. This reminds me of the home alone scene where Kevin tells the old guy to reach out to his son. I'm sure it'll be a Rollercoaster.
my condolences for your lost.
Losing a parent is always tough.
For me losing mom was awful.
Losing my old man, much less.
Were you estranged from your dad?
I had been estranged from mine for about a dozen years, sister too. Long story.
Are you normal?
Yes.
Be well.
For me losing mom was awful.
Losing my old man, much less.
Were you estranged from your dad?
I had been estranged from mine for about a dozen years, sister too. Long story.
Are you normal?
Yes.
Be well.
I'm sorry for your loss bud, there's no easy way in doing this.
I lost my father when I was 19, matter of fact, we were outside, playing hockey, he collapsed in my hands and I had to watch the life sucked out of him, with no power to do anything. Death is an extension of what we call life, and is a natural part, but one we ignore, fear and resent due to the pain it inflicts. It's a reminder we are simply human.
That being said, keep your head up. The pain and grief will come in waves with no time limit or warning. Your day will be coming along fine until a song or memory comes along and punches you in the gut, with the memory of your father. Look, it won't get easier, it will always hurt, but you learn how to deal with that pain and transmute it into something productive.
Right now, it's tears of pain and frowns. Soon, it will become tears of happiness, smiles and gratitude. I know you're kicking yourself for not visiting more, don't do that. Life is something else, there's no cheat code and there's no one way to live it. We can only do our best and leave the rest to "God" or the "Universe". Your father knew you loved him and that you were out there living your life.
I'm not a father myself, but I know this, for the people I love unconditionally, I want them out there, living their life, you know? Out there working, finding love, progressing to better things and so forth. To me, sometimes you have to love from afar. It's like looking at a beautiful sunrise or sunset, it's beautiful, and you have no hand in it, and you don't want to, it's doing it's thing naturally and you're appreciating it from a distance.
So, head up, cry if you need to, yell at (not people) the sky, be mad with God if you're the religious type (He can take it), hit the gym, grab a drink (not to drown sorrow but to celebrate his life) and whatever else you can.
To keep his memory alive, be the best version of ourself. In my religion, the soul is eternal, the body is simply a "cloth", that is worn for a "X" amount of time, until it is time to pass into the next life/phase/whatever you want to call it.
As long as you remember someone in your heart and mind, they'll live on forever.
I lost my father when I was 19, matter of fact, we were outside, playing hockey, he collapsed in my hands and I had to watch the life sucked out of him, with no power to do anything. Death is an extension of what we call life, and is a natural part, but one we ignore, fear and resent due to the pain it inflicts. It's a reminder we are simply human.
That being said, keep your head up. The pain and grief will come in waves with no time limit or warning. Your day will be coming along fine until a song or memory comes along and punches you in the gut, with the memory of your father. Look, it won't get easier, it will always hurt, but you learn how to deal with that pain and transmute it into something productive.
Right now, it's tears of pain and frowns. Soon, it will become tears of happiness, smiles and gratitude. I know you're kicking yourself for not visiting more, don't do that. Life is something else, there's no cheat code and there's no one way to live it. We can only do our best and leave the rest to "God" or the "Universe". Your father knew you loved him and that you were out there living your life.
I'm not a father myself, but I know this, for the people I love unconditionally, I want them out there, living their life, you know? Out there working, finding love, progressing to better things and so forth. To me, sometimes you have to love from afar. It's like looking at a beautiful sunrise or sunset, it's beautiful, and you have no hand in it, and you don't want to, it's doing it's thing naturally and you're appreciating it from a distance.
So, head up, cry if you need to, yell at (not people) the sky, be mad with God if you're the religious type (He can take it), hit the gym, grab a drink (not to drown sorrow but to celebrate his life) and whatever else you can.
To keep his memory alive, be the best version of ourself. In my religion, the soul is eternal, the body is simply a "cloth", that is worn for a "X" amount of time, until it is time to pass into the next life/phase/whatever you want to call it.
As long as you remember someone in your heart and mind, they'll live on forever.
My dad was a mean bristard
Then he mellowed a bit after he quit working
When he got "sun downers" he was near impossible. He couldn't do much but just yell nasty junk at everyone. I mean really bad stuff. No one wanted to be near him. I tried my best and that is all I could do.
Then he died near Christmas a couple years back.
Sorry for your loss. Sucks, but the living go on and people who want easy 24/7 usually are the people in the most trouble. Your emotions are yours, normal, use them positively.
4wd
$50 site donor 2026
Yeah, my Dad was pretty hard nosed until late in life - then I became older/wiser and knew it was mostly over money. He asked me to take his old 302 Merc for inspection - it came back with new Michelin tires. He got a bit upset - I said, relax - I still owe you at least another set …
He instantly understood and smiled with a cigar puff to seal the new world order !
I am so sorry for your loss.
You are normal. I lost my mom last May after a 6 month brain cancer fight. No symptoms before thanksgiving, left side motor function acting up in Thanksgiving, tumor found in December, treatment in Feb, gone in May.
You are completely normal. Grief takes time and effort to process. The need for that is partly why you are posting about it here.
You feel numb because you're body is trying to figure out what emotions to feel and can't decide. It's a form of fight or flight.
You aren't just grieving the loss of your Dad. You are facing so many other forms of grief-- grief about 23 years of estrangement, grieving the future together you will not have, grieving the sobering reminder of your own mortality. Grief has so many layers to it that it takes a while to peel that onion. And like the layers of the onion, some tears are likely and normal.
Whatever you do, don't just pack away grief and carry it around like a pet. Talk through things with extended family. Aunts, siblings whoever you have left. Talk though old times, reminisce, share your hurts and regrets as well as your wins. It will be good for them and for you both.
Very sorry for your loss. Everyone experiences grief in a different way.
Lost my father in December. His health had been declining for a couple years. I last saw him a couple months before, and I had a feeling it was the last time I'd see him. It was bittersweet when I got his Lincoln back on the road recently, he had been excited to see the progress I'd been making to get it roadworthy again over the last couple years, but he never got a chance to ride in it again. I'm sure he was riding with us on that first drive, though.
Lost my father in December. His health had been declining for a couple years. I last saw him a couple months before, and I had a feeling it was the last time I'd see him. It was bittersweet when I got his Lincoln back on the road recently, he had been excited to see the progress I'd been making to get it roadworthy again over the last couple years, but he never got a chance to ride in it again. I'm sure he was riding with us on that first drive, though.
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