The Elves would prefer that you NOT think of Albert Speer and WWII but would rather that you envision in the Black Forest, so reknown for its beauty and the craftsmanship of its inhabitants, a simple but elegant stucco building positioned at the foot of a rock projection standing in stark contrast to the beautiful GREEN and perfectly manicured lawn surrounding the building. The only sound that can be heard is the lazy ticking of about 50 cuckoo clocks positioned around the building, and the burbling of a sparklingly clean stream which flows next to it...the only sound...except of course at the time the perfectly synchronized clocks "kook" the half-hour followed by a cacophony of cuckoos on the hour. Sitting outside are an array of Germany's finest: Porsches (Ruf versions too), Audis, VWs, BMWs, Mercedes, Maybachs, and Opels. Surrounding them are groups of kleine Männer, sartorially resplendent in their GREEN or GOLD lab coats. These kleine Männer once occupied themselves with only the manufacture of cuckoo clocks, the vinting of wine, and the brewing of German Beers (brewing only beers conforming to the German Purity Law). But one day their delivery truck broke down due to a lubrication failure. These wonderful gentlemen so small in stature but so hefty of heart decide that since an engine is like a precision clock and making fine oil would be akin to making fine beer or wine, they would create an Elixer that would bring life and vitality to engines around the world. And since this is the short version, shall we say, "The rest is history." There is one other remarkable piece to this story. One of the younger Elves name Jürgen had a dream one night and in the dream he kept hearing, "Behold, In The Oil...Greatness." In the morning, when he awoke he said, I must remember this, but he was in a hurry to get ready to help create the Elixer, so he simply wrote down the acronym for this amazing phrase: B_I_T_O_G...
Actualy a lot of misinformation has been circulated about this oil! Truthfuly elves will not care for their own so when you become unable to care for your self youare gone! So what has been inplemented in the last year or so is that when these elves canno longer make GIII oil they are starved and dehydrated until they are almost dead. This process concentrates essenitial oils and fatty acids while reduceing water content. Then they are pressed for their oils. Then they react these nautral oils with acid in a vacum and apply heat to creat unique esters wich are blended backinto the GIII that the healty elves are makeing. Their dehydrated desicated remains are then turned into a high protein food product used to sustain the remaining elves!
Their is curently a top secret program with in Castrol to perfect a controled elve breeding program to sustain their populations! They have a paralle program to clone elves wich will mature at a very quick rate and will have a shorter life cycle as well. This would ensure a constant supply of both workers and feed stock for GC. Castrol predicts that at the current rate of GC hordeing by bitog members it will need to implement both programs to supply key member of bitog with their green elixer!
It would appear that a coperate final solution has been arranged in the Black Forrest!!!
P.S. I know it is a little dark but I had to go their!!!
quote:Originally posted by medic:
They must have the extended running cuckoo clocks. If they had to wind all of those clocks every day, they wouldn't have time to make anything.
Obviously you have not kept up with cuckoo clock technology...they are not wound...they are powered by weights...and gravity...that brings up an excellent point would they run and/or wind down slower on the moon? I'd best check with Jürgen.