Chuck Norris is 85

[4wd]

Chuck Norris’s GPS won’t say make a U turn when possible

 

[Bottom_Feeder]

Chuck Norris doesn't bring a knife to a gunfight. He doesn't bring a gun either.

Chuck Norris is a blood donor. Yours.

 

[NYEngineer]

This actually happened to me. In 2008, I worked in a building where CNN was situated. Chuck Norris was coming in to talk up Obama for president. I happened to be walking a contractor out and I see Chuck Norris. My face must have lit up because he turned and walked towards me, shook my hand and said How are you. I'm 6'5", 260 pounds, (235 at the time). I was shocked at how small he was. I WANTED to say where's the rest of you? But I pictured him roundhouse kicking me in the face so I just said great to meet you and went on my way.

 

[paulri]

I think you made the right choice.

This actually happened to me. In 2008, I worked in a building where CNN was situated. Chuck Norris was coming in to talk up Obama for president. I happened to be walking a contractor out and I see Chuck Norris. My face must have lit up because he turned and walked towards me, shook my hand and said How are you. I'm 6'5", 260 pounds, (235 at the time). I was shocked at how small he was. I WANTED to say where's the rest of you? But I pictured him roundhouse kicking me in the face so I just said great to meet you and went on my way.

 

[Inked]

This actually happened to me. In 2008, I worked in a building where CNN was situated. Chuck Norris was coming in to talk up Obama for president. I happened to be walking a contractor out and I see Chuck Norris. My face must have lit up because he turned and walked towards me, shook my hand and said How are you. I'm 6'5", 260 pounds, (235 at the time). I was shocked at how small he was. I WANTED to say where's the rest of you? But I pictured him roundhouse kicking me in the face so I just said great to meet you and went on my way.

Good thing you didn’t. I refer you to Post #5.

 

[NYEngineer]

Good thing you didn’t. I refer you to Post #5.

Yeah. And he was only 67 at the time. He could have whooped me good.

 

[MrJayhawk]

How many pushups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.

That’s wrong. Chuck Norris does not do pushups—Chuck Norris pushes the Earth down.

 

[spasm3]

Chuck Norris does not dial the wrong number, you answered the wrong phone.

 

[MrStamper]

When Chuck Norris got pulled over for speeding, he let the cop off with a warning.

Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

 

[Inked]

Chuck Norris’ tears can cure all diseases. Too bad he never cries,