Broke up with girlfriend...

[The_Eric]

Schmoe and andrew, you two must be suffering from a lack of reading comprehension. Neither Pop_Rivit nor I said anything about needing to get back with the girl. You two better re-read our two posts. In fact, I said that "I agree with the general sentiment of this thread", meaning that in all likelihood (based on what was reported by the OP) he'd be better off not marrying the woman in question.

Quote:
The man is THE one whom has the responsibility of taking care of her, taking care of the house, the car (to include OIL CHANGES!!!), keep stability in the home and to some extent, financially responsible. Is that old school? Maybe...


Yes, you're definitely right. A woman is far too fragile and stupid to take care of herself, let alone contribute any form of repair work around the house or "keeping stability" in the home. YES!, it is decidedly old school. Times have changed. Traditionally women have played the roles they did because they were forced into them psychologically and physically . Why would you want to reinforce such old mentalities?

For the record, my testicles are not on a hook. Our relationship is one of trust, respect, caring and contribution. We split daily house duties as close to 50/50 as convenient and while I do the lion's share repairs and maintenance, she's no stranger and not afraid to get her hands dirty. Why do I do the bulk of maint/repairs? I'm typically better at them. NO other reason. My wife is a strong person, both physically and mentally, so who am I to decide for her what her place is going to be in our relationship?

 

[Pop_Rivit]

Originally Posted By: Schmoe
Pop and Eric....you guys are living in Gondwana land....lost touch with reality. Barefoot and pregnant??? WTH did that come from? Geesh....I think your putting wayyyyyyy too much into what I said. I speak from copious amounts of experience with 5 step mothers and former marriage myself and from TNTC friends and were in this exact situation. Take off the rose colored glasses and get in touch with reality. Have you read the last 3 pages? Lots of us hear are on the same wavelength. The man is THE one whom has the responsibility of taking care of her, taking care of the house, the car (to include OIL CHANGES!!!), keep stability in the home and to some extent, financially responsible. Is that old school? Maybe...the only thing that has changed recently is finances...women are now making a good standard of living too...and I got NO problem with that. If I can get my arshe up at 0530 and make a living, then by all means, women can do the same thing. Mo' Money!!! A lot of men, myself included, do take care of cooking, kids, laundry etc. etc.
Pop....happy to hear that you've been married that long, congratulations...however....the OP has two kids involved....did your wife have two children from pervious relationships from two different fathers? Based on your married years, your BITOG name starting with "pop"...I'm going to assume your probably post 60 in age?? It that correct? DIFFERENT time back then. I mean, astronomically different. Mindsets are different.
Is there such thing as love in first sight....yes. It appears that poprivit has proven that and we all probably know a couple or two that can prove that as well. With that in mind, what are the percentages of that situation when two children are involved? I'm sorry, it changes everything. Now, let's continue with love at first site....in the OP's case, this isn't, obvioulsy, the case or he wouldn't have posted seeking our input. Four months later, he is showing doubt, just 4 months. What would 1 year be like? With two kids, there is just not enough time to work on a relationship. It's more methodical than natural in this circumstance. Marriages and love take time to build the foundation. You can't build a house without a fondation.



I'm sure that made sense to you as you were stabbing the keyboard with your fingers, but between all the ellipsis', the bizarre sentence structure and disconnected ramblings, I have no idea what you just said.

 

[Schmoe]

Pop....I showed you respect, but now your trying to demoralize me? Wow, expected more from a senior member on this forum. Lets examine your word "ellipsis" shall we??? It is defined as
"The omission from a sentence or other construction of one or more words understandable from the context that would complete or clarify the construction. A mark to indicate the omission of letters or words." Hmmm....so my comments don't have an introduction, didn't provide supporting sentences within that paragraph and neither did I draw a conclusion. Is that what you were expecting? There were just too many details that I wanted to persent that wouldn't fit into a properly constructed writing. I guess others are guilty of that too on this forum...but I digress. You are truly a great writer and I bow down to you. My sincere apologies if I insulted your intelligence with my fanatical writings.

 

[andrewg]

Originally Posted By: Schmoe
Pop....I showed you respect, but now your trying to demoralize me? Wow, expected more from a senior member on this forum. Lets examine your word "ellipsis" shall we??? It is defined as
"The omission from a sentence or other construction of one or more words understandable from the context that would complete or clarify the construction. A mark to indicate the omission of letters or words." Hmmm....so my comments don't have an introduction, didn't provide supporting sentences within that paragraph and neither did I draw a conclusion. Is that what you were expecting? There were just too many details that I wanted to persent that wouldn't fit into a properly constructed writing. I guess others are guilty of that too on this forum...but I digress. You are truly a great writer and I bow down to you. My sincere apologies if I insulted your intelligence with my fanatical writings.

As often happens Schmoe, when members disagree on this board (and that is of course frequent and expected), the discourse can sometimes turn nasty. I think it's been getting worse on Bitog than usual though. The reasons could be the cultural change that has come from the almost anonymous ability to insult WITHOUT having to actually face ones target in person, or maybe just the overall lack of social civility common today. I must admit I have occasionally fallen prey to such behavior. I wouldn't let it bother you. I'm no writer myself and grasp nothing about proper sentence structure or even understand the basic rudiments of the skills involved in anything close to REAL writing. But does it really matter to the degree that your accuser has tried to place upon you? No. It sounds more like anger or the arrogance of one that see's themselves as intellectually superior. Oh well, as they say. I think you made very good points in your post nonetheless....at least equal to your accusers posts.
Maybe we should have a special forum on Bitog dedicated ONLY to those that have published writings beyond that of the local want ads? That way the intellectually elite will feel right at home while us 'lesser' folks can grunt and bang rocks together in order to communicate....lol.

 

[Astro14]

How does "published writings" equate to "intellectually elite"?

I am clearly missing something...anyone with cash can get a book published, and in fact, a friend of mine caters to just that market...those with egos that must be fed by being "published"...but there isn't perfect correlation between being published and the ability to express thought clearly, otherwise editors would be out of work. Further, I thought that, perhaps, the ability to think critically was important as well...

 

[Schmoe]

It's ALL GOOD!!!! Just showing respect to my elders. It's all opinion....like arsheholes, we all got one!!!!

 

[dwcopple]

Originally Posted By: wolf_06
Hi guys,

I was dating this girl, she had two kids and they are adorable.
She wanted me to part of her family, but I wanted to take my time because I have been hurt in the past.

But I guess I wasnt fast enough for her, I just choked, Its hard to be a father figure of two kids that are not mine, but I like the girl, she should respect the fact that I want to take it easy.

Any of you had the same situation?
Get out, FAST! You will NEVER regret it!

 

[SatinSilver]

Originally Posted By: wolf_06
I was dating this girl, she had two kids and they are adorable.
She wanted me to part of her family, but I wanted to take my time because I have been hurt in the past.


Any chance you got her pregnant during your courtship?

 

[wolf_06]

Originally Posted By: satinsilver
Originally Posted By: wolf_06
I was dating this girl, she had two kids and they are adorable.
She wanted me to part of her family, but I wanted to take my time because I have been hurt in the past.


Any chance you got her pregnant during your courtship?


No, we were responsible. I always had girlfriends with no kids before, and it didnt work, they didnt knew what they wanted.

She has two kids, she know what she wants in life, she loves me a lot, but im scared of getting into it because i got hurt so bad in the past.

 

[wolf_06]

Some people on here tell me to run, but I dont feel that way, maybe I should, but it breaks my heart in a sens.

She know she was going too fast, but i like her, she is beatifull and respect me.
I never had kids before and i never been close to kids too, so its a huge adjustment if I want to be with her.

Im anxious about this part.

 

[andrewg]

Originally Posted By: wolf_06
Some people on here tell me to run, but I dont feel that way, maybe I should, but it breaks my heart in a sens.

She know she was going too fast, but i like her, she is beatifull and respect me.
I never had kids before and i never been close to kids too, so its a huge adjustment if I want to be with her.

Im anxious about this part.

Let those emotions guide you...as often said...."follow your heart". Why let common sense, intuition, advice, and evidence in front of your eyes dissuade you?

 

[surfstar]

Keep repeating this mantra:

Don't become part of her pattern.


Don't become part of her pattern.


Don't become part of her pattern.





Those who forget history, are doomed to repeat it.

 

[andrewg]

Originally Posted By: Astro14
How does "published writings" equate to "intellectually elite"?

I am clearly missing something...anyone with cash can get a book published, and in fact, a friend of mine caters to just that market...those with egos that must be fed by being "published"...but there isn't perfect correlation between being published and the ability to express thought clearly, otherwise editors would be out of work. Further, I thought that, perhaps, the ability to think critically was important as well...

I was posting that while completely having my tongue in cheek as well as heavily dosed with sarcasm. Published writings mean ZERO when it comes to intellect. I know a published writer (including a textbook for crying out loud) who is lacking much in brain ability.

 

[HM12460]

Mr. Wolf, this woman just did you a big favor. Don't worry, you'll get over her in no time.

 

[Astro14]

Ahh...then I apologize Andrewg...I completely missed it...one of the inherent risks of purely written communication...