Either you have a conscience or YOU DONT!!!!
Breaking Up
- Thread starter Breanna
- Start date
What about those "friendly" stalkers in your life? Those whom you have repeatedly told to please stay away. Scrub them or ghost them? 
Heard...but the 'older people ' I chum around with are good solid members of society. Not gang bangers, drug addicts, low life scum. I very rarely have anything in common with people near my age. I despise video games, rap, drugs, and the like. I would rather hang out with someone who is 40, 60, 80, than my age. Exceptions being people who are into motorcycles and cars, some of those people are interesting, even if only my age.
I identify with your sentiments. Was the same way as I was growing up, both as a young kid and as a young adult. The maturity of those older than me just seemed to appeal to me. Of course not all were necessarily mature.
My dad was in his mid 50's when I came along. Maybe that had something to do with it.
Now I'm old enough to be your grandfather, and sorely miss the role models of my youth.
Agreed.
My dad raised me to be a good young lady, not a childish imbecil.
IMO if you're not mature enough to break up with someone in a respectful manner, you are also not mature enough to be dating in the first place.
I'm a tired old man. The world has left me behind in so many ways, I've lost count. The culture we have today is not the one I grew up with, and quite simply, for good or bad, I just don't fit in well in today's world. The nursing home is calling my name! A farmer puts his old livestock "out to pasture" and it seems to be darn near time for me too.
We clearly now have a narrative driven culture that ignores certain points. In many cases, the actual discussion becomes one sided, as the opposition is banned/censored/forbidden from expression. So I find "ghosting" no surprise at all. It fits right in with all the other nonsense.
With that complaint lodged, I'm not one to believe the past is somehow better. I look forward to the new and better cool stuff, that's for sure.
How depressing. Out to pasture doesn't sound half bad. Better than the knacker's yard. Gonna make myself a Soylent Green smoothie. I need a little pick-me-up.
So we just "hook up" now, that's to bad, I have to say when I was courting the better half (31 years ago) it was a lot of fun. Dinner, movies and a few drinks at the local tavern and then we went home and hooked up, so I guess it's about the same.
Wait until the robots take over ...
I got ghosted by a gal I dated for about 6 months. She just disappeared one day, and I tried to get hold of her in many ways probably 6~8 times with no replies, even just asking her if she was OK yielded no reply. I seriously thought she might have got into a bad crash or something major happened. Finally after about a month I called her phone from a work phone so she didn't recognize the phone number. She answered and I just said "Sorry, I must have the wrong number" in a disguised voice and hung-up. All I wanted to do is make sure she was still alive and OK. Didn't say anything else because apparently she wanted to end it the way she did ... but I felt better knowing she was OK.
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The way the younger generation handles dating is weird to me. Having 3 younger brothers I've seen it often. I've seen it in my age group as well but its not as common I guess. I blame social media and hookup culture becoming the norm.
Much the same way my friend felt recently. They dated for over 2 years, then suddenly without a hint it was coming, she ghosted him. He was sure she was dead, hurt, or lost her phone. Finally he texted her brother and asked if she was okay. It is now interesting to hear about how pissed off her parents and brother are at her. Even her best friend called her on her BS. People who have the maturity level of a 4 year old, should not date IMO.
Ghosting is, at the very least, a mark of losers. But I wouldn’t go as far as your statement. Everyone should date, including those who practice ghosting - dating is natural, and so is ghosting. Darwin will take care of the rest.
So if they both ghost each other at the same time does anyone know?
Realistically if some one just ghost some one else, they never really cared for that person anyway...
Realistically if some one just ghost some one else, they never really cared for that person anyway...
Usually, they don’t care for themselves either.
First of all, I'm 33 and now happily married for 6 months and counting. My wife was such a breath of fresh when I met her because-among all the other reasons I fell in love with her-she was always direct, never left me questioning how she was feeling(still doesn't), and wasn't in to playing games. We were introduced by a mutual friend who thought we'd hit it off, and that friend was right.
With that said, though, I've been on the receiving end of being ghosted and I always looked at it as frankly being a cowardly thing to do. If for whatever reason you want to end your relationship with a person, tell them. Yes, it's difficult. I've been on both ends of that conversation and it's one of the most difficult conversations two people can have. Still, though, you need to do it, both to actually truly end things and also to make your intentions clear. If its a relationship where you both have some real investment in it, that conversation needs to be face to face wherever possible.
BTW, I see some analogies to the "Dear John" letter. To me, that still not quite the same thing. At least in that situation, the other person does clearly end the relationship. It's still a way of ending things without having to actually face the person, which is cowardly, but at least you don't leave the person hanging. It's equally bad, but still different.
With that said, though, I've been on the receiving end of being ghosted and I always looked at it as frankly being a cowardly thing to do. If for whatever reason you want to end your relationship with a person, tell them. Yes, it's difficult. I've been on both ends of that conversation and it's one of the most difficult conversations two people can have. Still, though, you need to do it, both to actually truly end things and also to make your intentions clear. If its a relationship where you both have some real investment in it, that conversation needs to be face to face wherever possible.
BTW, I see some analogies to the "Dear John" letter. To me, that still not quite the same thing. At least in that situation, the other person does clearly end the relationship. It's still a way of ending things without having to actually face the person, which is cowardly, but at least you don't leave the person hanging. It's equally bad, but still different.
I didn't read every post very carefully and just realized that you are a female. You know I was stereotyping that mostly men change oil ... lol
my advice to stay away from old people (twice your age and up) until you are at least 28-30 years old ... should now be revised to until you are 35
kidding aside, if you are for real (remember I don't trust the internet), my advice to you or your friend is:
1- still don't hang out too much with even trusted old people. Moderation is the key. there are lots of good people in your age group. You need to find more good friends close to your age to balance your views and ideas.
2- at your age, you shouldn't get too much into "closure" business. 1 or 2 or 6 months relationships should be able to handle a no closure deal/breakup within a reasonable time (i.e. less than a couple weeks or a few weeks) ...
closure is for 40 years old people and midlife crisis with very LONG relationships . Basically what I am saying is to move on and don't dwell too much on the past. You can always find the next nicer, smarter and better looking guy or partner.
3- talk to your dad, parents or other relatives if you feel sad or depressed for extended period of time.
4- don't fully trust the internet and even what I just told you. I don't think Dr. Phil posts on this site.
Pandemic is almost over and we should all get out more often.
Good luck to you and your friend(s).
that's a good one!
what's wrong with them people? They don't even fully stop. You know "California stop/roll". I think it helps fuel mpg and dilution.
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