Breaking Up

[JTK]

I guess "ghosting" can be applied to what ever scenario you want.

I though it was just associated with dating and all of a sudden the person you are dating maybe doesn't show up to a date, won't return a call or text and basically blocks your number. No one has land-lines anymore, so that's your main point of contact. We know kids typically won't make a real phone call, write a letter or gawd forbid meet someone face to face and look them in the eye, so this is the world we are in. Thing is, who cares. You were just dating. It's a good thing you found out the other person was a complete piece o chit before you married them and made babies.

A spouse with minor children ghosting you I don't get. If you're the biological parent, you have legal rights linking you to your minor children. I get it that the spouse can make things miserable, but wouldn't that essentially be kidnapping? I do feel horribly for you guys that have been or are going through this!!

With the dating / ghosting thing. That's a gift to me! Of course it's going to hurt if you really liked the person, but that a sure fire sign you wouldn't want them in your life if they would do or handle things that way.

 

[Shannow]

Shannow, it's good to see you back here. You've been through a terrible time with your ex. It's awful that she would turn your children against you. Are you doing OK? Any contact with the children?

6 hours with them Christmas 2019.
40 minutes with them January 6th 2020 (daughter's 17th
23 minutes with Son March 17th 2020 (his 15th).

Saw them once each in the mall in 2020...spoke to daughter for 5 mins until she succumbed to stares and foot-tapping from her Mum. Son turned his back and walked off...that's it...

Their world is a frat house train wreck, and having blown all the stolen savings, it's time to take another bite...

 

[javacontour]

Not referring to myself, just a question in general. When was it, that ghosting became the normal way of breaking up with someone? Back in the old days, people tell me, men and women had enough respect for each other, to most often end a relationship with a conversation. Now the other person is just left wondering if they died, lost their phone, had a car accident?
Discuss.

Some people are just crappy. My ex-wife moved out and got a new boyfriend (who was also still married) many years ago.

Bad character just manifests itself in different ways. The underlying issue is the same, lack of good character.

If you are not happy, use words and say, "I'm not happy" or whatever the issue might be.

But saying nothing, or saying things that are untrue isn't the play of someone who has good character.

 

[Ws6]

Judging by the number of "likes" my post in this thread got, maybe some closure is in order.

My (now ex) girlfriend and I did break up last weekend. She came over, and I replaced the headlights in her vehicle (I had ordered them earlier that week). We talked about things, and both of us felt our differences were, at present, unreconcilable. I helped her box up her things, and she gave me back the key to my house. No harsh words were said. It was very sad, and I'm going to miss a lot of things, and a lot of dreams I'd had for our future. What hurts the most is the thought of all the images and things I had imagined us doing (hunting her first deer, etc.) that we are never going to do, now. I have recently switched to day-shift, in part for her, and we never got to enjoy having the same schedules. She texted me at my request to let me know she had gotten home alright, and we haven't spoken since. It's just...awkward. But neither of us has anything bad to say to, or about the other.

I am sad, but this is part of moving through life, and I feel that it was handled in the best way. It is okay to be sad, to cry, to feel loss, anger, fear, all of these things---but never act in such a way that you feel shame. I have tried very hard to live my life in that way, and it's helped me to be a better person, even if I hash it up sometimes. Not this time though, thankfully.

 

[OVERKILL]

Judging by the number of "likes" my post in this thread got, maybe some closure is in order.

My (now ex) girlfriend and I did break up last weekend. She came over, and I replaced the headlights in her vehicle (I had ordered them earlier that week). We talked about things, and both of us felt our differences were, at present, unreconcilable. I helped her box up her things, and she gave me back the key to my house. No harsh words were said. It was very sad, and I'm going to miss a lot of things, and a lot of dreams I'd had for our future. What hurts the most is the thought of all the images and things I had imagined us doing (hunting her first deer, etc.) that we are never going to do, now. I have recently switched to day-shift, in part for her, and we never got to enjoy having the same schedules. She texted me at my request to let me know she had gotten home alright, and we haven't spoken since. It's just...awkward. But neither of us has anything bad to say to, or about the other.

I am sad, but this is part of moving through life, and I feel that it was handled in the best way. It is okay to be sad, to cry, to feel loss, anger, fear, all of these things---but never act in such a way that you feel shame. I have tried very hard to live my life in that way, and it's helped me to be a better person, even if I hash it up sometimes. Not this time though, thankfully.

That was incredibly mature of both of you. I really appreciate you taking the time to share that, it truly does wholly illustrate what "doing it right" looks like.

 

[Shannow]

At 14 and 16, those kids can be horribly manipulated by their other parent. They can be talked into doing awful things, like ghosting their dad.

You’re not alone in this. The same thing happened, with the same age kids, to one of my closest friends.

His ex should face eternal justice for her horrible manipulation, the destruction of the relationship with their father, her enabling of the kids’ base desires, all of it just to “win” by converting the kids to her side at great cost to their morality, their future opportunity, and their ultimate mental health.

I believe your ex to be in the same category of horrible manipulator.

Dante reserved the ninth, deepest, circle of the inferno for the falsifiers who manipulate others. It’s always been the very worst sin

Yes, destroying the children's rights (as father, I have none) is inexcusible, and trusting there's a deep dark place for that.

It's been utterly destructive to their lives and ambitions....

 

[wpod]

I would say most people find a new person to mate with then when all seems solid , drops the previous mate like a hot potato.