Breaking Up

[Breanna]

Not referring to myself, just a question in general. When was it, that ghosting became the normal way of breaking up with someone? Back in the old days, people tell me, men and women had enough respect for each other, to most often end a relationship with a conversation. Now the other person is just left wondering if they died, lost their phone, had a car accident?
Discuss.

 

[ZeeOSix]

Seems to be more of the younger generation thing to do. Guess people that do it that way figure it's less painful to do a proper beak-up and just walk away like it never happened. Guess it also depends what kind of relationship it was, and how long it lasted. The more involved and long term, I'd say less likely chance of ghosting as a way to end it.

 

[OilUzer]

That's what happens when you meet people on the internet. Instead of a real Full Synthetic you get a cheap dino with a VERY high Noack.

btw, can you define "old days"?

also some people don't have unlimited text so they just drop out.

 

[Skippy722]

Easier to just disappear than to face your problems for most people. There are very few circumstances, in my opinion, that’s okay to ghost someone… something like finding out they’re legitimately crazy/dangerous.

 

[alarmguy]

Before cell phones, texting, chat apps people were always face to face or on the phone, that was it! No other option.
So if you were to break up with someone, you told them on the phone or in person, those were really the only two ways and it had to be done because if someone didnt return your call it maybe acceptable to just stop by where they live. So you had to let them know you are not interested.

Now people has lost much of that human to human contact. Its really not a good thing. Some, many now treat the other person at the end of an app, text, chat or any social media as a machine. Dont like it? They just turn it off, real simple and the apps and devices make it even more easy.
Block them, delete them, no response or reason needed. Its the easy way out, no responsibility.
Not to sure what will become of the human race in the not to distant future, chances are I wont be here in a few decades anyway and not sure if I would want to be.

Now I said a few decades! *LOL* Lets not jinx myself to anything shorter!

 

[Astro14]

Well...been a long time since I broke up with anyone.

That said, the last time I did, it involved serving court papers and attorneys...so...

But to your question, no, ghosting is a reprehensible lack of respect for the other party. It’s cowardly.

When I broke up with a young lady in college, I drove up to see her, explained what was happening face to face over dinner. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

 

[DuckRyder]

Was it about the same time it became OK to end an internet forum post with a directive to "discuss"

In the old days, you just went to the store to get a pack of cigarettes and no one ever heard from you again.

 

[Smoky14]

Well...been a long time since I broke up with anyone.

That said, the last time I did, it involved serving court papers and attorneys...so...

But to your question, no, ghosting is a reprehensible lack of respect for the other party. It’s cowardly.

When I broke up with a young lady in college, I drove up to see her, explained what was happening face to face over dinner. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

I well remember the "dear john" letter I got while on my first overseas assignment. I guess that is the old school way of ghosting.
Ah youth is wasted on the young.
Smoky

 

[skyactiv]

I dated and had several different GF”s before I got married. Email or text was the common way she or I didn’t continue dating or ended the relationship. One ex suddenly ghosted me as our relationship was about to kick up a notch. After a few weeks, she called and explained she has herpes. That was a real crummy situation to be in.

 

[aquariuscsm]

Imo opinion, ghosting someone is a way of showing someone who screwed you over that you honestly just don't care. You're not there begging them to stay, or come back, or not to leave. It's as if you're showing them what it's like when you no longer care, and how it's going to feel that they can no longer be in control of your feelings and emotions, that you did and can walk away.

Because think about it. If someone screwed you over and you finally had enough, what's going to hurt them more, screaming in their face and cussing them out, or disappearing and letting them "wonder"?

 

[1978elcamino]

Its probably individuals vanishing to avoid the stork dropping a package on the door after one dident pull out in time. Just a thought.

 

[Propflux01]

Well, if you think about it, is ghosting any different than a “dear John” letter was back in the day? I mean, a piece of paper laying out for the unsuspecting person, and never seeing the author of that letter again because they left you? To me, same thing, just a different time and method.

 

[carviewsonic]

We seem to be losing real personal contact in our 'connected' society. Socializing happens on-line rather than face to face. It's easier, but doesn't have as much depth. The pandemic has accelerated this trend, but it was already well underway.

IMO, ghosting is just another symptom of the trend of having fewer relationships which are face to face and in person.

 

[Donald]

Ghosting is terrible whether its in a relationship or employment. Having said that, breaking up is hard no matter which side of the fence you are on.

 

[supton]

Learn something new every day--never heard of "ghosting" before. I guess my kids aren't far from dating so it's good to learn about how it's no longer the same.

 

[DwightFrye]

I have never ghosted anyone or been ghosted. But thinking about some of the angry, bitter and nasty words that have been exchanged when breaking up with someone in the past I'm thinking it may be an option for the future.

 

[Breanna]

That's what happens when you meet people on the internet. Instead of a real Full Synthetic you get a cheap dino with a VERY high Noack.

btw, can you define "old days"?

also some people don't have unlimited text so they just drop out.

By the way, funny response, I enjoyed it.

By 'old days' lets call that anything before I was born, so pre 2002.
I hang out most of the time with people double my age, and up. So I hear about how things used to be often. It seemed like society in general cared about each other more, had more respect in many cases. When my dad ( recently turned 49 ) was younger, he dated several people, but it just wasn't going to work out, so like a man, he talked to these women, and end the relationship, so they had closure. What he didn't do was never talk to them again, so they wondered what happened to him.

 

[Astro14]

Well, if you think about it, is ghosting any different than a “dear John” letter was back in the day? I mean, a piece of paper laying out for the unsuspecting person, and never seeing the author of that letter again because they left you? To me, same thing, just a different time and method.

Actually, I think they’re very different.

The letter took time and effort.

Ghosting takes neither.

The letter makes everything clear, and while it hurts to receive one, it’s a lot better than the uncertainty of ghosting.

 

[Astro14]

I have never ghosted anyone or been ghosted. But thinking about some of the angry, bitter and nasty words that have been exchanged when breaking up with someone in the past I'm thinking it may be an option for the future.

Maybe just a letter...no confrontation.

But also, clarity.

 

[Breanna]

Was it about the same time it became OK to end an internet forum post with a directive to "discuss"

In the old days, you just went to the store to get a pack of cigarettes and no one ever heard from you again.

You got me there lol