Just been thinking lately about this. I feel so different in this world. It's not a bad thing. Just I feel out of place at times and then again I don't.
I am the person that can hug a 101 yr old lady for 5 minutes while she's scared and teary eyed. Letting her know that she is safe and that I am with her, and that she will be ok.
And yet I am the same guy that got shall we say super mad and grabbed a patient who was running at me being chased from the 3rd floor unto the 2nd floor where I was working ( this patient was HIV positive by the way) and just about three him into the wall after he had punched and knocked out my lady co worker upstairs. I was quite angry because he had hit a woman upstairs. I did what I did because of that and to protect my lady co workers on the 2nd floor from this guy.
And yet I am the same guy that hugged and held a lady just after her mother had passed away. I did that for well over 5 minutes. I had tears in my eyes afterwards. I took a lap around the ICU and was ok.
I am the guy who in front of 580 people with tears in my eyes at times spoke to them from my heart about how we can come back from anything, live a different life, and be restored. In the middle of that crowd was my father. I was speaking to him. Hoping... just somehow that he knew... that I loved him... that all past wrongs were forgiven... that he could make things better for himself... be who he really was.. the best he could be... that no matter what or where he had been he could come all the way back from it.. my father bring a alcoholic needed to know that his son loved him and just wanted the best for him... and yet there were 580 other people in that place that evening. I handed the microphone off and went outside. I came back inside to find that there was a seat open right next to my father. I sat down next to him. It was one of the few times I saw him with tears in his eyes. Afterwards he told me he was proud of me.
In my sports playing days I was known to get cranked up and quite hot at times. I was known to go after people in volleyball and try to hit them in the face with the ball if I got irritated enough. Which to be fair... they tried to do the same thing to me. One night one of my best friends Scott and I got mad at each other. We both were trying hit each other upside the head with the volleyball. I hit the ball over each of his shoulders while he was in his back row position. Yet, after the game we were just fine. All was let go and forgiven. Kind of like Wylie coyote and the roadrunner at their time clock. Didn't change the fact I cared about him greatly.
I like working on my car at times.. I enjoy learning new things about how things work with my car.. I like understanding how things work and how to prevent bad things from happening with my car.
And I am the same guy that talks with one of the patients I take care of even though she doesn't speak. Yet, she always smiles at me when I talk to her. A number of times she will gently grab my hand and she will bring it up and kiss the back of my hand. That is quite special to me. I treat those older people like they are my grandparents. I want them to know that I truly respect and care for them very deeply. Has it been hard losing some of them?? Absolutely. But I wouldn't do it any different. The ones who have passed on I remember all of the good times.
Then again, I love sports quite a bit. I know every Super Bowl score from first to the last without cracking a book. I can tell you all of the big moments in most of those games, who were the bigtime players in many of them. I am about as knowledgeable about the NBA after the late 70s..
I am.. just a little bit of everything. I can be a guy's guy at times.. but I can also talk with someone about a very serious life circumstance without any hesitation. I don't try to tell others what to do, I don't stand in judgement over others realizing that I am no where near worthy of that place, however I will try to guide them to a better path if I can. I can be that guy who's filled with a literal pack of wild dogs so to speak and get cranked up mad and regulate a situation in order to protect others.
I try to live my life with a strong sense of purpose. I want to step up and be better for those who need me to be better. I have felt the greatest sense of purpose in front of hundreds of people sharing with them a message of hope and forgiveness as well as alone in a room with a 101 yr old lady who just needed someone to hold her and let her know that she is safe and that I was there with her.
I am so very fortunate and thankful for family and friends in my life who have helped me along the way.
Being different
- Thread starter bbhero
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That was a very good read.I think you aren't any different than anyone else.Everyone IS different but somehow those very things bring people together. I would reference the movie by John Hughes of The Breakfast Club. At the end we find out that these young people who really were in their own little world could come together if for only a day in a high school library over 8 hours of detention and some marijuana. You writing that out is maybe you having a firm grip on your identity and whom you are and or seek to be. Sounds pretty self aware and logically thought out. You think your different lol ...I turned down a date for a ice hockey game because my rationale was at the hockey game someone guaranteed to score and its the only thing that I cling to and its always been there for me when no one else was.
Maybe you could get some free counseling where you work. You probably shouldnt be hitting anyone, under any circumstance. Theres not really any justification.
I'm guessing you work at the VA.
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Tvette... I didn't hit that guy... I grabbed a hold of him and restrained him and shoved him into the visiting room. I didn't swing on him. I stopped him from throwing anymore punches. He had just knocked out my co worker upstairs. Now my co workers were telling me to stop from putting him into the wall. Which I did stop from doing that. I held his arms. My co worker Will came in and played good cop so to speak. At which point I released my grip on him and let him go. Ohh and for the record... Newport News police were called to our hospital an hour later because of him... because he was going off again. I did what I did to keep him from throwing punches and to protect my co workers. Yeah I was hot. No doubt. But I had good reason to be. I am no fan of a man swinging and punching out a woman who is 5 foot 3 and 140 pounds.
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What brought on all this introspection?
Too much egg nog?
Consider your situation vs having to take a life or lives and the aftermath for the years to come. The things we do during the span of a lifetime make us who we are. If your purpose is as good as your aim, you are doing good.
YMMV
Smoky
We are a lot alike but you clearly have a big edge.
You're a good guy and that's all there is to know.
You do what's right but aren't a push over. A perfect blend I think.
Our differences make us unique and that is why we are all special in our own way.
You're a human being. Congratulations.
What did this have to do with anything?
Originally Posted By: bbhero
(this patient was HIV positive by the way)
Originally Posted By: bbhero
Just been thinking lately about this. I feel so different in this world. It's not a bad thing. Just I feel out of place at times and then again I don't.
I am the person that can hug a 101 yr old lady for 5 minutes while she's scared and teary eyed. Letting her know that she is safe and that I am with her, and that she will be ok.
And yet I am the same guy that got shall we say super mad and grabbed a patient who was running at me being chased from the 3rd floor unto the 2nd floor where I was working ( this patient was HIV positive by the way) and just about three him into the wall after he had punched and knocked out my lady co worker upstairs. I was quite angry because he had hit a woman upstairs. I did what I did because of that and to protect my lady co workers on the 2nd floor from this guy.
And yet I am the same guy that hugged and held a lady just after her mother had passed away. I did that for well over 5 minutes. I had tears in my eyes afterwards. I took a lap around the ICU and was ok.
I am the guy who in front of 580 people with tears in my eyes at times spoke to them from my heart about how we can come back from anything, live a different life, and be restored. In the middle of that crowd was my father. I was speaking to him. Hoping... just somehow that he knew... that I loved him... that all past wrongs were forgiven... that he could make things better for himself... be who he really was.. the best he could be... that no matter what or where he had been he could come all the way back from it.. my father bring a alcoholic needed to know that his son loved him and just wanted the best for him... and yet there were 580 other people in that place that evening. I handed the microphone off and went outside. I came back inside to find that there was a seat open right next to my father. I sat down next to him. It was one of the few times I saw him with tears in his eyes. Afterwards he told me he was proud of me.
In my sports playing days I was known to get cranked up and quite hot at times. I was known to go after people in volleyball and try to hit them in the face with the ball if I got irritated enough. Which to be fair... they tried to do the same thing to me. One night one of my best friends Scott and I got mad at each other. We both were trying hit each other upside the head with the volleyball. I hit the ball over each of his shoulders while he was in his back row position. Yet, after the game we were just fine. All was let go and forgiven. Kind of like Wylie coyote and the roadrunner at their time clock. Didn't change the fact I cared about him greatly.
I like working on my car at times.. I enjoy learning new things about how things work with my car.. I like understanding how things work and how to prevent bad things from happening with my car.
And I am the same guy that talks with one of the patients I take care of even though she doesn't speak. Yet, she always smiles at me when I talk to her. A number of times she will gently grab my hand and she will bring it up and kiss the back of my hand. That is quite special to me. I treat those older people like they are my grandparents. I want them to know that I truly respect and care for them very deeply. Has it been hard losing some of them?? Absolutely. But I wouldn't do it any different. The ones who have passed on I remember all of the good times.
Then again, I love sports quite a bit. I know every Super Bowl score from first to the last without cracking a book. I can tell you all of the big moments in most of those games, who were the bigtime players in many of them. I am about as knowledgeable about the NBA after the late 70s..
I am.. just a little bit of everything. I can be a guy's guy at times.. but I can also talk with someone about a very serious life circumstance without any hesitation. I don't try to tell others what to do, I don't stand in judgement over others realizing that I am no where near worthy of that place, however I will try to guide them to a better path if I can. I can be that guy who's filled with a literal pack of wild dogs so to speak and get cranked up mad and regulate a situation in order to protect others.
I try to live my life with a strong sense of purpose. I want to step up and be better for those who need me to be better. I have felt the greatest sense of purpose in front of hundreds of people sharing with them a message of hope and forgiveness as well as alone in a room with a 101 yr old lady who just needed someone to hold her and let her know that she is safe and that I was there with her.
I am so very fortunate and thankful for family and friends in my life who have helped me along the way.
4WD
$50 site donor 2023
Olas: Nice touch of class ...
There's a great book called "Mindfulness in Plain English" by Bhante Gunaratana. There is an alternative to western thought. Check it out.
http://www.wisdompubs.org/book/mindfulness-plain-english
Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
Someone mixed up his BITOG and Dear Abby post.
4WD
$50 site donor 2023
Yelling at a Weedeater is better -slinging it over the fence is priceless 
Why would anybody have Dear Abby post something when they could do it themselves?
Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
Someone mixed up his BITOG and Dear Abby post.
Originally Posted By: bbhero
Tvette... I didn't hit that guy... I grabbed a hold of him and restrained him and shoved him into the visiting room. I didn't swing on him.
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Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
Someone mixed up his BITOG and Dear Abby post.
Originally Posted By: 4WD
Yelling at a Weedeater is better -slinging it over the fence is priceless
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