My kids are now adult and I really enjoyed being a parent. Now I really miss being the most important thing in their lives and miss the wisdom of little kids. For example when my son was 6 years old I took him to an airshow to watch the precision the Blue Angles about half way through the show my son said Dad lets go home I am tired of watching fleur de leis or when my daughter was 8 years hearing her friend and her discuss which of their horses has the cutest weiner!
Being a parent.
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Heh.
Last night I went to bed, and just before nodding off, I heard one of them moving around. I hoped for the best... nope, heard tears, knew I ought to go console and help 'em go to sleep (older child, bad dream, whatever--long past the "let them cry it out phase"). As I trodded down the stairs it dawned on me: I can't count the number of times as an adult I would have liked someone to take the time and talk to me, tell me it's all right, life is fine, hear that from someone I have complete and utter trust in: but for a few brief years I have the opportunity to do that for my kids.
I went from being resentful at losing a few minutes of sleep to being grateful very quickly.
Last night I went to bed, and just before nodding off, I heard one of them moving around. I hoped for the best... nope, heard tears, knew I ought to go console and help 'em go to sleep (older child, bad dream, whatever--long past the "let them cry it out phase"). As I trodded down the stairs it dawned on me: I can't count the number of times as an adult I would have liked someone to take the time and talk to me, tell me it's all right, life is fine, hear that from someone I have complete and utter trust in: but for a few brief years I have the opportunity to do that for my kids.
I went from being resentful at losing a few minutes of sleep to being grateful very quickly.
I have twin girls, 4yrs, and a boy due in April.
They are a ton of work, as every parent knows, but I love it. Now that I'm home more (used to travel heavily, until last month), I love it more.
Now, I'm not looking forward to teen years lol. That's when the boy and I will go hide in the garage.
They are a ton of work, as every parent knows, but I love it. Now that I'm home more (used to travel heavily, until last month), I love it more.
Now, I'm not looking forward to teen years lol. That's when the boy and I will go hide in the garage.
I don't look forward to the teen years either. But I have this glimmer of a hope: maybe if I do it right, maybe we'll avoid the worst of it. I try really hard to be home every night, I don't work two jobs, I don't work late, I try hard to be around, I quit most of my (solitary) hobbies. I try to be involved. When the hormones hit, who knows what will happen. But I'm trying real hard to not be a stranger.
Parents these days, just get a few minutes of video every month or two of your kids being kids. Let 'em talk about what's important. You'll look back and laugh at this "Angry Birds" fad in five years.
Most of my movies roll a minute or two then the kids start fighting and the camera shuts off suddenly.
Most of my movies roll a minute or two then the kids start fighting and the camera shuts off suddenly.
I don't have kids, we decided that we didn't want them.
My wife and I both suffered with MH issues in our lives and these things are hereditary - given the depths we've plumbed it didn't seem fair to either of us to have kids when it's almost a given before they're even conceived that they'll suffer the way we have.
We're not anti-kids, friends and neighbours have children and they're no trouble, welcome to the house and our hospitality etc, but the drain on money and time and social lives only to have kids that won't be happy for a significant portion of their lives is beyond selfish, and not something either of us want.
Just saying..
My wife and I both suffered with MH issues in our lives and these things are hereditary - given the depths we've plumbed it didn't seem fair to either of us to have kids when it's almost a given before they're even conceived that they'll suffer the way we have.
We're not anti-kids, friends and neighbours have children and they're no trouble, welcome to the house and our hospitality etc, but the drain on money and time and social lives only to have kids that won't be happy for a significant portion of their lives is beyond selfish, and not something either of us want.
Just saying..
Originally Posted By: racer12306
I have twin girls, 4yrs, and a boy due in April.
They are a ton of work, as every parent knows, but I love it. Now that I'm home more (used to travel heavily, until last month), I love it more.
Now, I'm not looking forward to teen years lol. That's when the boy and I will go hide in the garage.
Twins are a blessing. My friends have twins ,so amazing.
I have twin girls, 4yrs, and a boy due in April.
They are a ton of work, as every parent knows, but I love it. Now that I'm home more (used to travel heavily, until last month), I love it more.
Now, I'm not looking forward to teen years lol. That's when the boy and I will go hide in the garage.
Twins are a blessing. My friends have twins ,so amazing.
Originally Posted By: Olas
I don't have kids, we decided that we didn't want them.
My wife and I both suffered with MH issues in our lives and these things are hereditary - given the depths we've plumbed it didn't seem fair to either of us to have kids when it's almost a given before they're even conceived that they'll suffer the way we have.
We're not anti-kids, friends and neighbours have children and they're no trouble, welcome to the house and our hospitality etc, but the drain on money and time and social lives only to have kids that won't be happy for a significant portion of their lives is beyond selfish, and not something either of us want.
Just saying..
This is noble of you.
We have some family friends in the same boat. They have dogs as their kids and take other friends' kids out and spoil them.
I don't have kids, we decided that we didn't want them.
My wife and I both suffered with MH issues in our lives and these things are hereditary - given the depths we've plumbed it didn't seem fair to either of us to have kids when it's almost a given before they're even conceived that they'll suffer the way we have.
We're not anti-kids, friends and neighbours have children and they're no trouble, welcome to the house and our hospitality etc, but the drain on money and time and social lives only to have kids that won't be happy for a significant portion of their lives is beyond selfish, and not something either of us want.
Just saying..
This is noble of you.
We have some family friends in the same boat. They have dogs as their kids and take other friends' kids out and spoil them.
Originally Posted By: Olas
I don't have kids, we decided that we didn't want them.
My wife and I both suffered with MH issues in our lives and these things are hereditary - given the depths we've plumbed it didn't seem fair to either of us to have kids when it's almost a given before they're even conceived that they'll suffer the way we have.
We're not anti-kids, friends and neighbours have children and they're no trouble, welcome to the house and our hospitality etc, but the drain on money and time and social lives only to have kids that won't be happy for a significant portion of their lives is beyond selfish, and not something either of us want.
Just saying..
I'm glad you found a choice that you like. If I were in your shoes I probably would do the same. [Actually we do have something that runs in the family, and it does cause me consternation--so I truly don't blame you for your choice, and can relate otherwise.]
As I've become more aware of finance and financial choices, I can see how much kids impact the bottom line. In some ways I'm glad I decided to have kids when I was young and dumb!
I don't have kids, we decided that we didn't want them.
My wife and I both suffered with MH issues in our lives and these things are hereditary - given the depths we've plumbed it didn't seem fair to either of us to have kids when it's almost a given before they're even conceived that they'll suffer the way we have.
We're not anti-kids, friends and neighbours have children and they're no trouble, welcome to the house and our hospitality etc, but the drain on money and time and social lives only to have kids that won't be happy for a significant portion of their lives is beyond selfish, and not something either of us want.
Just saying..
I'm glad you found a choice that you like. If I were in your shoes I probably would do the same. [Actually we do have something that runs in the family, and it does cause me consternation--so I truly don't blame you for your choice, and can relate otherwise.]
As I've become more aware of finance and financial choices, I can see how much kids impact the bottom line. In some ways I'm glad I decided to have kids when I was young and dumb!
Ours are raised. We gave them each a college education. Now that they are gone we have an amazing life again.
My wife was a great mom. But she will tell you that she is not defined by motherhood. We have a friend who posts pictures on her kids daily on facebook. They struggle to make ends meet (they have 3).
Too each his own.
My wife was a great mom. But she will tell you that she is not defined by motherhood. We have a friend who posts pictures on her kids daily on facebook. They struggle to make ends meet (they have 3).
Too each his own.
Originally Posted By: supton
As I've become more aware of finance and financial choices, I can see how much kids impact the bottom line. In some ways I'm glad I decided to have kids when I was young and dumb!
Heh. We have waited a long time before having kids. Some of it was choice, and some just uncertainty/circumstances. The up side is that we are now financially stable and can easily take on the kid expense, as high as it is. The down side is that we are old(er) and don't have as much energy anymore to be running around small kids and functioning on a few hours of sleep.
Over the many years, we also got very used to the comfortable kid-less lifestyle on our own schedule. Kids turn it upside down, and it takes a while to adjust. Not having any family nearby to help out, and having to travel for business (both me and my wife) makes it even more challenging.
Would I have preferred to have kids when we were younger? Probably. But there is no point rehashing it now. We are just glad to be parents.
As I've become more aware of finance and financial choices, I can see how much kids impact the bottom line. In some ways I'm glad I decided to have kids when I was young and dumb!
Heh. We have waited a long time before having kids. Some of it was choice, and some just uncertainty/circumstances. The up side is that we are now financially stable and can easily take on the kid expense, as high as it is. The down side is that we are old(er) and don't have as much energy anymore to be running around small kids and functioning on a few hours of sleep.
Would I have preferred to have kids when we were younger? Probably. But there is no point rehashing it now. We are just glad to be parents.
Indeed. Hard to change the past.
In my case, it was *me* who decided to quit waiting and to start the family. Wanted to start "my" lineage.
Grandkids etc. It might have been nice to wait a few more years and get some other finances out of the way--but I noticed that while saving, we were starting to spend all the more on unnecessary stuff. Having family reigned that in.
Sometimes I look forward to my 50's and having an empty house. But I know I'll miss it (unless if the teen years wind up aweful!).
In my case, it was *me* who decided to quit waiting and to start the family. Wanted to start "my" lineage.
Sometimes I look forward to my 50's and having an empty house. But I know I'll miss it (unless if the teen years wind up aweful!).
Originally Posted By: Quattro Pete
Originally Posted By: supton
As I've become more aware of finance and financial choices, I can see how much kids impact the bottom line. In some ways I'm glad I decided to have kids when I was young and dumb!
Heh. We have waited a long time before having kids. Some of it was choice, and some just uncertainty/circumstances. The up side is that we are now financially stable and can easily take on the kid expense, as high as it is. The down side is that we are old(er) and don't have as much energy anymore to be running around small kids and functioning on a few hours of sleep.
Over the many years, we also got very used to the comfortable kid-less lifestyle on our own schedule. Kids turn it upside down, and it takes a while to adjust. Not having any family nearby to help out, and having to travel for business (both me and my wife) makes it even more challenging.
Would I have preferred to have kids when we were younger? Probably. But there is no point rehashing it now. We are just glad to be parents.
We are similar in that sense. I just turned 41 and have a 6 month old girl (only child). Then again, I just got married 3 years ago, but yeah, the energy sometimes lacks. But it is nice being settled in a career, so the money hit can be absorbed ok.
And yeah, the family thing... I lost my mom 34 days before she was born, my wife's mom is deceased, the dads are 84 and 75 years old, and no one lives close. We are doing it all on our own. I don't travel much, but I'm a rotating shift worker.
Originally Posted By: supton
As I've become more aware of finance and financial choices, I can see how much kids impact the bottom line. In some ways I'm glad I decided to have kids when I was young and dumb!
Heh. We have waited a long time before having kids. Some of it was choice, and some just uncertainty/circumstances. The up side is that we are now financially stable and can easily take on the kid expense, as high as it is. The down side is that we are old(er) and don't have as much energy anymore to be running around small kids and functioning on a few hours of sleep.
Would I have preferred to have kids when we were younger? Probably. But there is no point rehashing it now. We are just glad to be parents.
We are similar in that sense. I just turned 41 and have a 6 month old girl (only child). Then again, I just got married 3 years ago, but yeah, the energy sometimes lacks. But it is nice being settled in a career, so the money hit can be absorbed ok.
And yeah, the family thing... I lost my mom 34 days before she was born, my wife's mom is deceased, the dads are 84 and 75 years old, and no one lives close. We are doing it all on our own. I don't travel much, but I'm a rotating shift worker.
Last edited:
Originally Posted By: supton
Heh.
Last night I went to bed, and just before nodding off, I heard one of them moving around. I hoped for the best... nope, heard tears, knew I ought to go console and help 'em go to sleep (older child, bad dream, whatever--long past the "let them cry it out phase"). As I trodded down the stairs it dawned on me: I can't count the number of times as an adult I would have liked someone to take the time and talk to me, tell me it's all right, life is fine, hear that from someone I have complete and utter trust in: but for a few brief years I have the opportunity to do that for my kids.
I went from being resentful at losing a few minutes of sleep to being grateful very quickly.
Yeah, I hear you there. I have a 7 year old son who still takes his favorite stuffed shark to bed with him every night. I know it won't be too much longer before his concerns will be different, so I try to treasure these moments as much as I can...
We'd love to have another, but I looks like the man above is going to only bless us with one happy, healthy child. It's okay though, as there are many kids out there who needs a home, and the love a home can offer. Something we plan on doing....
Heh.
Last night I went to bed, and just before nodding off, I heard one of them moving around. I hoped for the best... nope, heard tears, knew I ought to go console and help 'em go to sleep (older child, bad dream, whatever--long past the "let them cry it out phase"). As I trodded down the stairs it dawned on me: I can't count the number of times as an adult I would have liked someone to take the time and talk to me, tell me it's all right, life is fine, hear that from someone I have complete and utter trust in: but for a few brief years I have the opportunity to do that for my kids.
I went from being resentful at losing a few minutes of sleep to being grateful very quickly.
Yeah, I hear you there. I have a 7 year old son who still takes his favorite stuffed shark to bed with him every night. I know it won't be too much longer before his concerns will be different, so I try to treasure these moments as much as I can...
We'd love to have another, but I looks like the man above is going to only bless us with one happy, healthy child. It's okay though, as there are many kids out there who needs a home, and the love a home can offer. Something we plan on doing....
Originally Posted By: thunderfog
Originally Posted By: Quattro Pete
Originally Posted By: supton
As I've become more aware of finance and financial choices, I can see how much kids impact the bottom line. In some ways I'm glad I decided to have kids when I was young and dumb!
Heh. We have waited a long time before having kids. Some of it was choice, and some just uncertainty/circumstances. The up side is that we are now financially stable and can easily take on the kid expense, as high as it is. The down side is that we are old(er) and don't have as much energy anymore to be running around small kids and functioning on a few hours of sleep.
Over the many years, we also got very used to the comfortable kid-less lifestyle on our own schedule. Kids turn it upside down, and it takes a while to adjust. Not having any family nearby to help out, and having to travel for business (both me and my wife) makes it even more challenging.
Would I have preferred to have kids when we were younger? Probably. But there is no point rehashing it now. We are just glad to be parents.
We are similar in that sense. I just turned 41 and have a 6 month old girl (only child). Then again, I just got married 3 years ago, but yeah, the energy sometimes lacks. But it is nice being settled in a career, so the money hit can be absorbed ok.
And yeah, the family thing... I lost my mom 34 days before she was born, my wife's mom is deceased, the dads are 84 and 75 years old, and no one lives close. We are doing it all on our own. I don't travel much, but I'm a rotating shift worker.
Ouch. Sorry to hear that. One of the things I'll never forget is taking my mother up on an offer to help us, after the first one was born. Things went horrible--nothing tragic, but just initial first time parent issues on a large scale. Mom dropped everything, spent one night with us (and got some grandma bonding time in), and all went well afterwards.
Originally Posted By: Quattro Pete
Originally Posted By: supton
As I've become more aware of finance and financial choices, I can see how much kids impact the bottom line. In some ways I'm glad I decided to have kids when I was young and dumb!
Heh. We have waited a long time before having kids. Some of it was choice, and some just uncertainty/circumstances. The up side is that we are now financially stable and can easily take on the kid expense, as high as it is. The down side is that we are old(er) and don't have as much energy anymore to be running around small kids and functioning on a few hours of sleep.
Would I have preferred to have kids when we were younger? Probably. But there is no point rehashing it now. We are just glad to be parents.
We are similar in that sense. I just turned 41 and have a 6 month old girl (only child). Then again, I just got married 3 years ago, but yeah, the energy sometimes lacks. But it is nice being settled in a career, so the money hit can be absorbed ok.
And yeah, the family thing... I lost my mom 34 days before she was born, my wife's mom is deceased, the dads are 84 and 75 years old, and no one lives close. We are doing it all on our own. I don't travel much, but I'm a rotating shift worker.
Ouch. Sorry to hear that. One of the things I'll never forget is taking my mother up on an offer to help us, after the first one was born. Things went horrible--nothing tragic, but just initial first time parent issues on a large scale. Mom dropped everything, spent one night with us (and got some grandma bonding time in), and all went well afterwards.
Originally Posted By: daves87rs
Originally Posted By: supton
Heh.
Last night I went to bed, and just before nodding off, I heard one of them moving around. I hoped for the best... nope, heard tears, knew I ought to go console and help 'em go to sleep (older child, bad dream, whatever--long past the "let them cry it out phase"). As I trodded down the stairs it dawned on me: I can't count the number of times as an adult I would have liked someone to take the time and talk to me, tell me it's all right, life is fine, hear that from someone I have complete and utter trust in: but for a few brief years I have the opportunity to do that for my kids.
I went from being resentful at losing a few minutes of sleep to being grateful very quickly.
Yeah, I hear you there. I have a 7 year old son who still takes his favorite stuffed shark to bed with him every night. I know it won't be too much longer before his concerns will be different, so I try to treasure these moments as much as I can...
We'd love to have another, but I looks like the man above is going to only bless us with one happy, healthy child. It's okay though, as there are many kids out there who needs a home, and the love a home can offer. Something we plan on doing....
Yeah, I got my 10yr old to sit on my lap the other day, but those days are over--and really, he's too big now. Somehow that came to an end. Just today, we had a parent-teacher conference, and as we left, the classroom was streaming in. Think he wanted a hug from mommy as we left? Nope. So even my wife is starting to notice it.
Good for you to adopt, or at least consider it. Our lives have been too busy for us to contemplate, but I always look up to those who do.
Originally Posted By: supton
Heh.
Last night I went to bed, and just before nodding off, I heard one of them moving around. I hoped for the best... nope, heard tears, knew I ought to go console and help 'em go to sleep (older child, bad dream, whatever--long past the "let them cry it out phase"). As I trodded down the stairs it dawned on me: I can't count the number of times as an adult I would have liked someone to take the time and talk to me, tell me it's all right, life is fine, hear that from someone I have complete and utter trust in: but for a few brief years I have the opportunity to do that for my kids.
I went from being resentful at losing a few minutes of sleep to being grateful very quickly.
Yeah, I hear you there. I have a 7 year old son who still takes his favorite stuffed shark to bed with him every night. I know it won't be too much longer before his concerns will be different, so I try to treasure these moments as much as I can...
We'd love to have another, but I looks like the man above is going to only bless us with one happy, healthy child. It's okay though, as there are many kids out there who needs a home, and the love a home can offer. Something we plan on doing....
Yeah, I got my 10yr old to sit on my lap the other day, but those days are over--and really, he's too big now. Somehow that came to an end. Just today, we had a parent-teacher conference, and as we left, the classroom was streaming in. Think he wanted a hug from mommy as we left? Nope. So even my wife is starting to notice it.
Good for you to adopt, or at least consider it. Our lives have been too busy for us to contemplate, but I always look up to those who do.
Sometimes I envy those of you that are parents.
I was not able to have children. I've come to terms with it many years ago...but every now and then I wonder a bit about how it would have been.
On the other side of the issue...I am also thankful at times that I don't have kids. I see what my girlfriend has gone through. Not my cup of tea.
We see grandchildren fairly regularly (hers). They are okay...but it must admit that when they go home for the day, we breath much better.
I was not able to have children. I've come to terms with it many years ago...but every now and then I wonder a bit about how it would have been.
On the other side of the issue...I am also thankful at times that I don't have kids. I see what my girlfriend has gone through. Not my cup of tea.
We see grandchildren fairly regularly (hers). They are okay...but it must admit that when they go home for the day, we breath much better.
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