Sorry to give you this but our weekend has been heartbreaking. A friend of ours came off life support on Friday evening and died in a matter of hours. As if that isn't bad enough it was his 18 year old daughter who as next of kin had to make the decision to take him off. They are good friends and she lived with us for a while when he was out of town on business a couple of years ago so she is pretty much like an adopted daughter.
Bad weekend
- Thread starter Whitewolf
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I am so very sorry to hear of your loss and of the difficult decision placed on one so young. I hope that you will continue to be there for her.
Hermann
Site Donor 2023
Sorry to hear you lost a good friend.
Thank you we are trying, but it is hard to know what to do. The balance between being intrusive and at the same time being supportive.
I don't know right now what is the right approach to take.
She knows that there is a bed in our house if she wants 'her room' back but we don't know what is the right thing to do at the moment.
I don't know right now what is the right approach to take.
She knows that there is a bed in our house if she wants 'her room' back but we don't know what is the right thing to do at the moment.
very sorry to hear about your loss.
That was a tough decision for a 18 yr old,,,,,
Just being there will do a world of good. An unfortunate situation.. That's a lot of responsibility for a young lady.
As the others said, just being there for her is the best thing you can do. Make the offer and leave it. She'll know.
No doubt she will have to wrap up his affairs too. All you can do is tell her you know that things will be overwhelming from emotional and practical standpoints, and that you will help her in any way possible, including advice, listening, physical help, etc. You probably already know that, though.
I went through something similar, but at a much older age. As time goes on and the reality of this sets in for her, she may begin to feel profound guilt and second guess her decision. Don't hesitate to recommend counseling for her if she seems to need it. She is very fortunate to have someone like you who cares and can help, even in small ways.
I never know what to say. I always try to cut their grass, wash their car, rake the leaves, or clean out the gutters. Anything. More to help me express my love rather than anything needing done. Helps me with my grief. Be sure to take care of yourself.
Whitewolf, my condolences to you and your "adopted daughter." Making such a decision is hard on anyone regardless of age much less a teenager. As the others have said, just be there whenever she needs you. You are a great friend for doing so. Take care.
Are you able to help her keep the house for a little while? If she can't handle the bills yet she'll have to move. Even having your place as a "second home" to fall back on, being forced to move has got to feel like a kick in the side when she's already down.
I recently had to fill out medical power of attorney's and such for someone very close to me.
I'm obviously praying nothing happens...but I had them make the decision.
I can't imagine a woman at 18 making that decision.
Not trying to be sexist...just know how hard such a thing would be on my wife.
I'd offer her a homecooked meal and feel out the situation.
Sorry for your loss.
I'm obviously praying nothing happens...but I had them make the decision.
I can't imagine a woman at 18 making that decision.
Not trying to be sexist...just know how hard such a thing would be on my wife.
I'd offer her a homecooked meal and feel out the situation.
Sorry for your loss.
You obviously care a lot about the welfare of this YOUNG lady. I would tell her you are there to help her with anything. She may not remember what you tell her today, so you may want to make the offer again in a week. Prayers for all of you.
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