advice on divorce.
- Thread starter ram_man
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First of all, I am sorry bud, you are about to find out how the system is bad for men.
1. spend as many hours you have here reading
http://forum.dadsdivorce.com/
2. Find a good pro dad therapist and schedule a visit, trust me, you need to be emotionally sound to FIGHT the battle.
3. Get a good VOICE RECORDER and keep it ON all the time, check state law, for dual party/one party etc.
4. FIND a lawyer as soon as possible, one that asks for $5000 retainer (avoid)
5. DONT leave the house, if she makes threats call the police but have your recorder on first.
she will make false accusation, watch the documentary on divorce,
1. Have your lawyer DIPOSE her right away, if she lies, sue her in civil court later, MI state law allows it, but unless you dipose her, you can't.
2. Before divorce is filed go the bank and empty the accounts out in cash, they will be frozen as soon it is filed.
3. Make sure you keep constant contact with the kids, KEEP A LOG of everything,
4. call friend/exgirlfriend/parents to help out
pm me if you hvae specific questions,
1. spend as many hours you have here reading
http://forum.dadsdivorce.com/
2. Find a good pro dad therapist and schedule a visit, trust me, you need to be emotionally sound to FIGHT the battle.
3. Get a good VOICE RECORDER and keep it ON all the time, check state law, for dual party/one party etc.
4. FIND a lawyer as soon as possible, one that asks for $5000 retainer (avoid)
5. DONT leave the house, if she makes threats call the police but have your recorder on first.
she will make false accusation, watch the documentary on divorce,
1. Have your lawyer DIPOSE her right away, if she lies, sue her in civil court later, MI state law allows it, but unless you dipose her, you can't.
2. Before divorce is filed go the bank and empty the accounts out in cash, they will be frozen as soon it is filed.
3. Make sure you keep constant contact with the kids, KEEP A LOG of everything,
4. call friend/exgirlfriend/parents to help out
pm me if you hvae specific questions,
Sorry about all this and if I recall you have kids and young which is complicated all around.
However that all being said if you guys are agreeable people you can simply go to the court house (together) and file including terms with a court clerk. If a judge approves done.
The first step in this route is being agreeable you do what is best interest of children and property is irrelevant. I assume you don't have much to contest about beyond children. If you are not agreeable on anything take others advice here.
However that all being said if you guys are agreeable people you can simply go to the court house (together) and file including terms with a court clerk. If a judge approves done.
The first step in this route is being agreeable you do what is best interest of children and property is irrelevant. I assume you don't have much to contest about beyond children. If you are not agreeable on anything take others advice here.
They are doing that "mediation" [censored] here in Oklahoma now....it's only to try and settle things to prevent a full court hearing, which the courts are really booked up and boy, this would drag out for years. Gabe is SPOT on, as all the others. Don't move out...period....the first to leave shows the judge who the responsible one is. If you got joint accounts, don't drain them, it will make you look really bad as you "took" the money away from the kids and that will bite you in the arsche later. Start making a list. You may laugh at this, but everything you bought together, you get half. Everything adds up....dishes, food, furniture, etc. etc. If it comes to that kind of nit picking brought by the onset of your wife, be ready to roll with it. Another thing, what's the age of the children? Kids about 12 can make their own decisions of whom they want to stay with. But, you haven't said why your marriage is over....and you were asked by others but you haven't responded.....WE need to know that to help you out. Are you hiding something??? Did you get a girlfriend? Hit her? we need to know this.....
Originally Posted By: Schmoe
They are doing that "mediation" [censored] here in Oklahoma now....it's only to try and settle things to prevent a full court hearing, which the courts are really booked up and boy, this would drag out for years. Gabe is SPOT on, as all the others. Don't move out...period....the first to leave shows the judge who the responsible one is. If you got joint accounts, don't drain them, it will make you look really bad as you "took" the money away from the kids and that will bite you in the arsche later. Start making a list. You may laugh at this, but everything you bought together, you get half. Everything adds up....dishes, food, furniture, etc. etc. If it comes to that kind of nit picking brought by the onset of your wife, be ready to roll with it. Another thing, what's the age of the children? Kids about 12 can make their own decisions of whom they want to stay with. But, you haven't said why your marriage is over....and you were asked by others but you haven't responded.....WE need to know that to help you out. Are you hiding something??? Did you get a girlfriend? Hit her? we need to know this.....
Good advice, but read the forum link posted before.
find good attorney and pay the retainer asap and follow attorney's advise.
Pls don't POST any admission here.
just ask q's
They are doing that "mediation" [censored] here in Oklahoma now....it's only to try and settle things to prevent a full court hearing, which the courts are really booked up and boy, this would drag out for years. Gabe is SPOT on, as all the others. Don't move out...period....the first to leave shows the judge who the responsible one is. If you got joint accounts, don't drain them, it will make you look really bad as you "took" the money away from the kids and that will bite you in the arsche later. Start making a list. You may laugh at this, but everything you bought together, you get half. Everything adds up....dishes, food, furniture, etc. etc. If it comes to that kind of nit picking brought by the onset of your wife, be ready to roll with it. Another thing, what's the age of the children? Kids about 12 can make their own decisions of whom they want to stay with. But, you haven't said why your marriage is over....and you were asked by others but you haven't responded.....WE need to know that to help you out. Are you hiding something??? Did you get a girlfriend? Hit her? we need to know this.....
Good advice, but read the forum link posted before.
find good attorney and pay the retainer asap and follow attorney's advise.
Pls don't POST any admission here.
just ask q's
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It's kind of hard to know what advice to give here. How hostile is this situation?
Is this woman likely to make it a "worst case" thing with restraining orders, draining accounts, and running up credit cards.... or is she happy to settle this fairly and move on?
I would personally be inclined to stay in the house, but I'd move into a separate room. Cameras and sound recorders as appropriate. Personally, I would want to make sure that every interaction is documented in some way.
Is this woman likely to make it a "worst case" thing with restraining orders, draining accounts, and running up credit cards.... or is she happy to settle this fairly and move on?
I would personally be inclined to stay in the house, but I'd move into a separate room. Cameras and sound recorders as appropriate. Personally, I would want to make sure that every interaction is documented in some way.
Hire an attorney ASAP and follow their advice, next delete this thread and any other threads or Facebook postings you might have made about this.
Don't talk about possible legal proceedings on public internet forums, and especially not on FACEBOOK. You would be amazed at the number of people who screw themselves by putting their entire life on Facebook.
Don't talk about possible legal proceedings on public internet forums, and especially not on FACEBOOK. You would be amazed at the number of people who screw themselves by putting their entire life on Facebook.
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Originally Posted By: ram_man
Sometimes she wants to be civil and then she has a burst of crazy anger......it's weird.
Absolutely do not feed the crazy anger side of her. If you can find some way to do so, reward her for being civil and calm. But provide no negative feedback, or even any feedback at all, when she flips the switch on you.
I think the best way to go about this is in the most non antagonistic way possible, while still meeting her half way. I'd stay in the house, but isolate myself from her as completely as is possible.
You want the "civil and calm" side of her to be present when you're formalizing everything. If you let this turn this into a fight it's going to be painful. Well, it's going to be painful no matter what, but you can at least keep her from turning the pain up to 11.
Sometimes she wants to be civil and then she has a burst of crazy anger......it's weird.
Absolutely do not feed the crazy anger side of her. If you can find some way to do so, reward her for being civil and calm. But provide no negative feedback, or even any feedback at all, when she flips the switch on you.
I think the best way to go about this is in the most non antagonistic way possible, while still meeting her half way. I'd stay in the house, but isolate myself from her as completely as is possible.
You want the "civil and calm" side of her to be present when you're formalizing everything. If you let this turn this into a fight it's going to be painful. Well, it's going to be painful no matter what, but you can at least keep her from turning the pain up to 11.
Need more information on your situation.
I would not call her about anything. ALL communication should be via email so there is a record of everything said and so that there are no screaming matches on the phone that could be very counter productive.
Try and stay in the house if at all possible, but if she is dangerous or threatening to call the cops on you, then this may not be tenable.
If you voluntarily leave the house, this will likely be considered the default condition by the judge and she will be granted possession of the house throughout the divorce process.
If she is unstable and you have to leave the house, make sure you call the local PD and have them show up so that you can remove your items. Going there by yourself or even with friends is a good chance for her to claim you threatened or assaulted her.
I would not call her about anything. ALL communication should be via email so there is a record of everything said and so that there are no screaming matches on the phone that could be very counter productive.
Try and stay in the house if at all possible, but if she is dangerous or threatening to call the cops on you, then this may not be tenable.
If you voluntarily leave the house, this will likely be considered the default condition by the judge and she will be granted possession of the house throughout the divorce process.
If she is unstable and you have to leave the house, make sure you call the local PD and have them show up so that you can remove your items. Going there by yourself or even with friends is a good chance for her to claim you threatened or assaulted her.
Originally Posted By: whip
Originally Posted By: ram_man
Sometimes she wants to be civil and then she has a burst of crazy anger......it's weird.
She sounds like a normal women.
Man, you must have had some pretty bad experiences if you think that's true.
Originally Posted By: ram_man
Sometimes she wants to be civil and then she has a burst of crazy anger......it's weird.
She sounds like a normal women.
Man, you must have had some pretty bad experiences if you think that's true.
Originally Posted By: Mykl
Originally Posted By: whip
Originally Posted By: ram_man
Sometimes she wants to be civil and then she has a burst of crazy anger......it's weird.
She sounds like a normal women.
Man, you must have had some pretty bad experiences if you think that's true.
4 pages talking about the crazy things this women might do. I point out how moody most woman can be, and you think I'm the one with bad experiences. From this thread, most guys expect women to act crazy. For the record, I've been married 16 years.
Originally Posted By: whip
Originally Posted By: ram_man
Sometimes she wants to be civil and then she has a burst of crazy anger......it's weird.
She sounds like a normal women.
Man, you must have had some pretty bad experiences if you think that's true.
4 pages talking about the crazy things this women might do. I point out how moody most woman can be, and you think I'm the one with bad experiences. From this thread, most guys expect women to act crazy. For the record, I've been married 16 years.
Originally Posted By: whip
Originally Posted By: Mykl
Originally Posted By: whip
She sounds like a normal women.
Man, you must have had some pretty bad experiences if you think that's true.
4 pages talking about the crazy things this women might do. I point out how moody most woman can be, and you think I'm the one with bad experiences. From this thread, most guys expect women to act crazy. For the record, I've been married 16 years.
If what you said was a joke, I'm sorry I didn't get it.... unless you actually think it's reasonable to project that thought on everybody based on the actions of a single woman? We are only getting one side of the story here.
Originally Posted By: Mykl
Originally Posted By: whip
She sounds like a normal women.
Man, you must have had some pretty bad experiences if you think that's true.
4 pages talking about the crazy things this women might do. I point out how moody most woman can be, and you think I'm the one with bad experiences. From this thread, most guys expect women to act crazy. For the record, I've been married 16 years.
If what you said was a joke, I'm sorry I didn't get it.... unless you actually think it's reasonable to project that thought on everybody based on the actions of a single woman? We are only getting one side of the story here.
Originally Posted By: laserred96gt
Is that the woman that got accused of stealing inside a dollar store for no reason ,according to her ?
Sorry to hear about it, I hope you 2 find a solution without going to court, it's probably better for you her and the kids.
Yea. ..she didn't steal though. She has a temper for sure but she's not a bad person overall. We all have our issues. I'm not even up set much about it. We aren't in love and when i told her my idea of love she said it didn't exist. And my comment back was then I'll be single because that's what I want and I hope one day to find it.
Is that the woman that got accused of stealing inside a dollar store for no reason ,according to her ?
Sorry to hear about it, I hope you 2 find a solution without going to court, it's probably better for you her and the kids.
Yea. ..she didn't steal though. She has a temper for sure but she's not a bad person overall. We all have our issues. I'm not even up set much about it. We aren't in love and when i told her my idea of love she said it didn't exist. And my comment back was then I'll be single because that's what I want and I hope one day to find it.
Hmmmm.....almost sounds like you two have unreal expectations that COULD be worked out. Kind of like each side will have to give and take to make it work out, but like I said, each side. You know, you really haven't said a lot of bad things about her, it's almost as though you don't want to do this and maybe she doesn't either. Sometimes patience comes with age and the old addage that grass isn't always greener on the other side may not apply here. Two things are going to happen.....as this progresses and she starts seeing the physical changes, you moving out and taking your property, she may have a change of heart and re-evaluate her position. Hate to say it, but sometimes it takes a major movement such as this for someone to realize the forthcoming reality. Kind of like that song by Cinderella "don't know what you got until it's gone." The other thing, it will become WWIII and both of you will go through a torment you've never even realized.
Man ordered to pay $4.5 billion to ex-wife in Swiss divorce
http://news.yahoo.com/russian-oligarch-faces-4-5-110345713.html
http://news.yahoo.com/russian-oligarch-faces-4-5-110345713.html
Why are there kids involved if you "aren't in love"? Shotgun wedding?
Sucks for all involved now.
Good luck
Sucks for all involved now.
Good luck
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