A Mother's Wisdom

[Bio-T]

My mother taught me:

TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE--- "If you're going to kill each other, do
it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me
RELIGION -----
"You better pray that will come out
of the carpet."

My mother taught me about
TIME TRAVEL,,,,,,
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

My mother taught me
LOGIC-----
"Because I said so, that's why."

My Mother taught me
LOGIC.....
#2 "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going
to the store with me."

My mother taught me
FORESIGHT ------
"Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me
IRONY -----
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -----
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST ----
"Will you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about
STAMINA -----
"You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about
WEATHER ----
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS ----
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen
THEN?"

My mother taught me about
HYPOCRISY -----
"If I've told you once,
I've told you a million times -
Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me
THE CIRCLE OF LIFE ----
"I brought you into this world,
and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION ----
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about
ENVY ----
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do!"

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until we get home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

My Mother taught me
MEDICAL SCIENCE... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going
to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to
THINK AHEAD... "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a
good job."

My Mother taught me
ESP.... "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

My mother taught me
HUMOR ---
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me how to
BECOME AN ADULT -..
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about
GENETICS... "You're just like your father."

My Mother taught me about my
ROOTS... "Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about
WISDOM OF AGE... "When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And my all time favorite......

JUSTICE........
"One day you'll have kids ......
and I hope they turn out just like you!"

 

[sprintman]

Hey that's my mother!!

 

[Rick in PA]

quote:

---

Originally posted by 59 Vetteman:
My mother taught me:...

And my all time favorite......

JUSTICE........
"One day you'll have kids ......
and I hope they turn out just like you!"

---

They do... they realy do.

 

[Dewlanna]

quote:

---

Originally posted by 59 Vetteman:

JUSTICE........
"One day you'll have kids ......
and I hope they turn out just like you!"

---

My mother-in-law has apologized to me for this one. She says at the time she was laying this curse on her son, she never thought about the poor woman who would have to be the mother to these little bits of justice.

 

[rg144]

My Mother taught me about
REVERENCE FOR THE DEAD ... "You'll do that over my dead body"