JHZR2
Staff member
I can't start to imagine the grief and pain. All the best.
Losing a parent
- Thread starter GMFan
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Dammit my mom is 57, too, but I am 24.
I'm very sorry to hear of your situation GMFan. It's impossible to be in someone elses brain and know what is happening.
I wonder if professional grief counseling is effective?? Can anyone here share their experience going this route?
My thoughts and prayers are with you to work through this.
I wonder if professional grief counseling is effective?? Can anyone here share their experience going this route?
My thoughts and prayers are with you to work through this.
Unfortunately the inevitable will happen and a parent will pass away.
Always remember the good times and forget the bad.
Always remember the good times and forget the bad.
Sorry to hear about your mom. I watched my mom scream in pain until she slipped into a coma, and die that night. Don't let regret set in, no matter how little. I still battle it years later. I can say an event like this can change you. Don't let it screw you up, focus on the positives. I know they are hard to see right now.
It sucks my brother, just no other way to put it, it just plain sucks. You are not alone in your thoughts/feelings/emotions. Lost my Dad at age 60 in 2003, about 3 weeks after my daughter was born. He never got to see her. It still saddens me to this day on what all she could have learned and enjoyed from grandpa. One thing I've come to realize, and as I'm 53 myself and getting older, is that death is a natural process that EVERYBODY goes through/grieves. You have to handle it your own way. But, I keep his memory in mind akin to WWJD thing...but it's more like What Would Dad Do? Keeps me sane and in-check with myself. He wasn't perfect....hard drinker and chain smoker, but I've learned from that so that those mistakes are not carried on witnessed by my daughter. That's not to say you can't do some crazy things, but just keep that line boundary within yourself. I drink, but I don't get crazy and just enjoy some wine/beer at the house on weekends in the evening. In a way, I'm passing my knowledge gained from my father to her but straightening the wrong things he did along the way to right the ship. You'll never forget them. Never. Don't try and fool yourself thinking you will, because you won't. You can't drink them off your mine, as most country songs go. BUT, that's a GOOD THING!!! As a parent myself, getting close to the age my father passed, I have often question myself if I'm teaching her, showing her or setting enough examples whereas when I pass, will I feel good about what all I've done as a parent? To that, I say, finally, YES. I now see it in her...her compassion, love and spirituality she has within her. I like to think I've guided some of that. From what all you've said before, it appears to me that your mother has done the same. You carry yourself upright and in the eyes of your mother.
Things will get better. Not overnight. It's a process. Focus on the good things and cherish the memories. Be grateful as #ell of those wonderful memories. One thing I did when my daughter was born was start a diary for her. I'm now up to 5 composition notebooks. When Dad passed, I wrote about 10 pages telling her who her grandfather was. What he did, places we went, the things we did, both good and bad. I hope one day she reads it and gets a mental picture of him. I keep a couple of pictures of him in the house as well. Now, 14 years later.....I still miss him, BUT, it's with a smile. Remembering him and laughing at all the crazy kraph he/we did. From since I was newborn to about age 12, he was a single Dad with me and we were in Germany for 6 of those years during the late 60's and early 70's, boy, did we go places and see things. Hang in there, it will get better, I promise. I'm an living example.
Things will get better. Not overnight. It's a process. Focus on the good things and cherish the memories. Be grateful as #ell of those wonderful memories. One thing I did when my daughter was born was start a diary for her. I'm now up to 5 composition notebooks. When Dad passed, I wrote about 10 pages telling her who her grandfather was. What he did, places we went, the things we did, both good and bad. I hope one day she reads it and gets a mental picture of him. I keep a couple of pictures of him in the house as well. Now, 14 years later.....I still miss him, BUT, it's with a smile. Remembering him and laughing at all the crazy kraph he/we did. From since I was newborn to about age 12, he was a single Dad with me and we were in Germany for 6 of those years during the late 60's and early 70's, boy, did we go places and see things. Hang in there, it will get better, I promise. I'm an living example.
I lost my mother January 2016 as well, she was still young at 63, and I'm 32 now. My dad has been doing surprisingly well, he retired this year and will be moving to my area. It's tough to think that I'll never make new memories with my mom, but I try hold on to the ones I have. I don't think we'll ever get over it, but it helps to think that they're in a better place, and that we are who we are because of our parents. If we keep living in the way they wanted us to, they'll never be totally gone.
AZjeff
$50 Site Donor 2023
Originally Posted By: doitmyself
I wonder if professional grief counseling is effective?? Can anyone here share their experience going this route?
After we lost our son we went to professional counseling, joined a faith based grief group, read books and things we found online. Nothing fixes it or helps you get over it in big steps. What outside help does do is help you understand what and why you're feeling what you're feeling and gives you some mechanisms to help you through it. Whatever you're going through is normal in the sense that many others have had the same reactions to a loss that you're having. Some people can process it, box it up and get on with their life. Others can't and the worst thing they can do is to try to suck it up and tough it out on their own. There's much more I could say but won't, but would really encourage you to seek out some help.
I wonder if professional grief counseling is effective?? Can anyone here share their experience going this route?
After we lost our son we went to professional counseling, joined a faith based grief group, read books and things we found online. Nothing fixes it or helps you get over it in big steps. What outside help does do is help you understand what and why you're feeling what you're feeling and gives you some mechanisms to help you through it. Whatever you're going through is normal in the sense that many others have had the same reactions to a loss that you're having. Some people can process it, box it up and get on with their life. Others can't and the worst thing they can do is to try to suck it up and tough it out on their own. There's much more I could say but won't, but would really encourage you to seek out some help.
Triple_Se7en
$50 Site Donor 2024
My dad was gone when I reached the age of 8. My mom died when I was 21. I am currently 65 years-old.
It will take some time to get back to normal. Maybe even several years. Worst times to cope are their birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Hang in there ..... it gets easier every year. You basically are reminded of them less & less as time rolls-on.
It will take some time to get back to normal. Maybe even several years. Worst times to cope are their birthdays, Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Hang in there ..... it gets easier every year. You basically are reminded of them less & less as time rolls-on.
Ever since my dad died 10yrs ago our family hasn't been the same.I wish everyday that he was still here.Im taking care of my mom now thru her med issues and its not easy at all.Last 5 yrs have been terrible for me anyway.
I think about things like this everyday. I guess thinking makes us know we care and miss them. Its what they taught us and left behind for us helps so we can do the same for our kids. Always be grateful they were in your life.
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