Would you let someone borrow your car for $40

[avacado11]

responsible friends and family members.

This is a big one. Not only just fuel, but should anything happen to the car I expect to be made whole again. Dings and dents I don’t care about. I have friends and family that I know are in a financial position where if it got into a fender bender they would just drop it off at the body shop and get it fixed no questions asked.
Buddy here would be the guy to try to call his other friends to ask for favors to fix my rig the cheapest way possible, whether it takes weeks if not months. Just seems like a headache I’m not trying to deal with.

 

[wander2039]

$40 and for that purpose no. If it was a family member or good friend in a pinch for other purposes maybe. I don't ask to borrow vehicles. Although when I was discussing what I'd need for the new place and maybe getting a 3/4 both my dad and bro-in-law offered their trucks. In dads case it probably break and I'll have to fix it, which he knows it will LOL. Bro's truck is a fancy one ton so unless it's something heavy a bit worried to drive it.

 

[avacado11]

In the early 70s, as a young man, I owned a Chevy Sportsvan with 2 seats, and the rest cargo area. Everybody wanted it to self move things, often with my help. And in law school, I drove 6 friends to Florida for Spring Break.

I finally tired of this, sold it, and replaced it with a passenger car.

I also have a Chrysler Pacifica that I use for road trips. It’s sits in a garage that’s 20 minutes away from where I live when not in use.

This past winter this same buddy asked if I could help him move a dresser out of the blue. 6pm on a Wednesday. Mind you I work til 9pm. My truck was out of commission due to a bad starter so he brought up the idea of me getting into my van to help him move a dresser that he just needed to do tonight. His truck couldn’t go because it started snowing and his 4wd didn’t work. He expected me to get off work at 9pm, drive 20 minutes the opposite direction to get my van, 45 miles to him, another 45 to pick up a dresser, drive 45 miles his house, then I’d have to drive back 45 miles to put my van back and get into my car to go home.

See at some point it just becomes excessive. I have no issues helping but I’m not going to inconvenience myself to that extent.

Heck one time he asked if he could borrow my floor jack do replace an axle seal I said just bring the car to my house and I have all the tools here plus the parts store is 5 minutes down the road. He said no my garage doesn’t have heat(dead of winter). He expected me to lift my 120lb floor jack by myself and haul it 25 miles to him.

 

[PandaBear]

No. If he returns with any damage he would get upset if I demand him repairing it because .... $40. I also don't want people suing me for his problems.

There are rental companies out there and I want to keep my friends friends and my personal items personal.

 

[PF52]

There's nobody like people from Corpus. Maybe that's a key motivation for people leaving New York (and similar places) in droves and coming here.

LOL!!! Those New Yorkers (and others) find out quick how welcoming Texans really are.

I had my tires slashed at a motel in the Katy area.... Some local yokel probably thought I was there to steal his job.

 

[Bottom_Feeder]

He’s got someone who wants to buy a trailer next weekend. He offered to deliver the trailer 1.5 hours if the deal could be done tomorrow. The buyer agreed.

And why would he offer that to the buyer if he didn't have the means to actually make it happen?

That's what annoys me the most here, the presumption that you would be able to dig him out of the hole he dug for himself by promising something he had no way of delivering without your involvement.

I had a good friend who would hang that kind of stuff on me more often than a good friend should. We're not friends anymore.

 

[avacado11]

And why would he offer that to the buyer if he didn't have the means to actually make it happen?

That's what annoys me the most here, the presumption that you would be able to dig him out of the hole he dug for himself by promising something he had no way of delivering without your involvement.

I had a good friend who would hang that kind of stuff on me more often than a good friend should. We're not friends anymore.

That’s the same question I have. If you know your truck can’t make it that far, why even entertain the idea at all? Especially when you look at the big picture and realize this is his business that he’s doing strictly for financial gain - not because he needs to sell his trailer to pay for a hospital bill or something urgent.

On top of that, he brought this perfectly good truck and put a giant lift kit, 37” tires, high offset wheels, new paint, lights etc. making it less reliable. A 300k mile rig does not like to be touched. He wouldn’t be stuck in this bind right now if he was running stock size wheels.

Quite literally every problem he’s running into is his own doing. I’ve been telling him he needs to run a stock truck for work but he says when he buys that $60k truck he’s just gonna throw some mild mods(wheels tires, mild lift etc.) it’s like come on get your head in the right place. When it comes to work it’s work, when it’s play it’s play. Can’t combine both unless you’re already well off.

 

[Pew]

That’s the same question I have. If you know your truck can’t make it that far, why even entertain the idea at all? Especially when you look at the big picture and realize this is his business that he’s doing strictly for financial gain - not because he needs to sell his trailer to pay for a hospital bill or something urgent.

On top of that, he brought this perfectly good truck and put a giant lift kit, 37” tires, high offset wheels, new paint, lights etc. making it less reliable. A 300k mile rig does not like to be touched. He wouldn’t be stuck in this bind right now if he was running stock size wheels.

Quite literally every problem he’s running into is his own doing. I’ve been telling him he needs to run a stock truck for work but he says when he buys that $60k truck he’s just gonna throw some mild mods(wheels tires, mild lift etc.) it’s like come on get your head in the right place. When it comes to work it’s work, when it’s play it’s play. Can’t combine both unless you’re already well off.

You know the saying "poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."? I feel like that applies to your friend.

He absolutely made plans for your car before he even asked you. That's very irresponsible and I bet he'd start a fit if he damages your truck and you all him to fix it.

I have a friend like this, total "cross that bridge when we get there" all the time and digs himself into a deeper hole that I won't get him out of a third time.

 

[bdcardinal]

I have 2 trucks and there are probably 3 people I would ever let drive them, 2 of which have trucks already. The more I go through life, the more "friends" I have fired from being a friend for stuff like this. I have a small group of people I consider friends, and a lot of them are in the same group. We have gone from standing in the In N Out Burger parking lot on Fridays, to having a BBQ almost every Friday and help eachother with our various car projects. But ya, if one of them needed a vehicle, I would probably just drive it myself and then they pay whatever gas I use.

But if someone is too cheap to spend the money properly on their business, their business needs to either fail or get close to failing before they see the light.

 

[riff1006]

It's his emergency, not yours. He can get glad in the same pants he got mad in. Poor planning on his part isn't your responsibility.

 

[AZjeff]

Altruism (you can look it up) does not equal enabling.

Altruism does not automatically equal enabling but it certainly can depending on the circumstance and this sure sounds like one. At what point does being altruistic become being gullible?

The OP has illustrated a pattern of behavior by the person in question that needs improvement. Sometimes the best thing we can do for a person is to allow them to be responsible for their own actions.

The friend's need isn't quite the same as mentioned in Matthew 25 35-36.

 

[riff1006]

How close of a friend is he? Helping one another goes hand-in-hand with friendship. Rationalize your decision all you like, but true friends are always there to help. On the other hand, if this person is a mere acquaintance your obligation is lessened.



If this is your measuring stick, it's actually sad. We should help one another out of love and concern, not "What's in it for me?" This statement is the epitome of selfishness.

The very fact you're asking the community for opinions indicates you're either torn on this issue or seeking public justification for your actions.

Then again, I live in South Texas. We do our best to "love thy neighbor" and help our neighbors when able. I understand this is a foreign concept to many.

Nah. This is a guy who's looking for free labor for his business, and this isn't the first time. In the past he's failed to live up to his end of the agreement. He's also making promises to customers without having the means to fulfill said promises without the the help of his buddy, who he never cleared this with, and who isn't his employee. I live in South Texas too and I believe in being a good neighbor as well. But this goes beyond that. Even a good friend would be honest with a guy who's pulling this stuff. If you can't be honest with your friends, what kind of friend are you? Or what kind of friend is he? Good neighbor or sucker? It needs to be weighed out.

 

[avacado11]

You know the saying "poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine."? I feel like that applies to your friend.

He absolutely made plans for your car before he even asked you. That's very irresponsible and I bet he'd start a fit if he damages your truck and you all him to fix it.

I have a friend like this, total "cross that bridge when we get there" all the time and digs himself into a deeper hole that I won't get him out of a third time.

Initial offer(and usually always) is fuel used plus dinner on him. We’re leaving miles wear & tear off the table. Not that I really care about the wear & tear but it’s the principle behind it.

I mean last weekend I just ran two sheets of steel for him. He made it sound like they were massive sheets requiring a truck but it was two 2x5 1/4” steel. It could have easily fit in the back of his beater car. Again he didn’t want to run his truck because of the vibration and he didn’t want to run the beater car because apparently it wouldn’t fit. I think it would’ve went in fine if the seats were folded down. That whole deal was a 40 mile round trip and a few hours of my time I had to squeeze into my already busy weekend. All for a chicken tender meal? I’m in a strict diet anyways so I don’t really care for fast food.

Funny that my other friend told me to ghost this guy. Seems to be freeloading and getting too comfortable with other people’s possessions

 

[avacado11]

I have 2 trucks and there are probably 3 people I would ever let drive them, 2 of which have trucks already.

But if someone is too cheap to spend the money properly on their business, their business needs to either fail or get close to failing before they see the light.

Same here. The friends I wouldn’t hesitate handing keys over already have their own trucks and cars. It simply comes down to being responsible enough to take care of your own needs so you don’t rely on others. Heck that’s the reason I own a truck myself.

Buddy offered me $1k plus fuel and expenses to haul trailers for him a few months ago. I actually considered it, but I wasn’t about to take a $40k loan on a newer diesel truck going out on a limb like that. To be honest he was just telling me a few weeks ago that he might abandon this trailer gig. Not that I wish him failing but I don’t think his business model is sustainable long term. Not with the way he’s spending money.

 

[bdcardinal]

Same here. The friends I wouldn’t hesitate handing keys over already have their own trucks and cars. It simply comes down to being responsible enough to take care of your own needs so you don’t rely on others. Heck that’s the reason I own a truck myself.

Buddy offered me $1k plus fuel and expenses to haul trailers for him a few months ago. I actually considered it, but I wasn’t about to take a $40k loan on a newer diesel truck going out on a limb like that. To be honest he was just telling me a few weeks ago that he might abandon this trailer gig. Not that I wish him failing but I don’t think his business model is sustainable long term. Not with the way he’s spending money.

There are some of the younger kids that start their own shops and seem to get into a lot of pickles. I try to talk to some of them, mostly from experience on being picky about customers and charging their worth. I know they start out wanting to be helpful, but they need to make a living too. Sounds like your friend is in that stage and is risking burning bridges and losing his livelihood.

 

[andrew_j]

What kind of world would someone live in to think $40 is adequate compensation for rental of a truck.

It would have been much better to offer nothing OR at least $100+ .

$40 is really insulting.

 

[LowMilesLesabre]

Anyone with a pattern of behavior this consistent over time and who manages to “forget” that they owe you $60 is playing you like a fiddle; whether consciously or not. Speaking of getting played, I learned a hard lesson myself when I was just out of High School and was taken advantage of by a “friend” who never fully paid back money he had borrowed. I got played but learned a life lesson. It sounds to me that you have paid more than enough to now be learning your own lesson by saying no thank you.

 

[andrew_j]

"Friendships....relationships....communities all involve sharing of duties...responsibilities...benefits." Bernie...is that you? I thought you lived in Vermont. Could be Karl Marx, but he's dead...

"What's in it for me" is merely one part of fairness selfishness. Fixed it for you. And if such a metric works for you, then so be it.

Nobody is claiming any level of superiority whatsoever. If you feel inferior that's your hangup. And if you're sickened, perhaps you should consult a doctor.

There are indeed all kinds of people everywhere. My point is that my community is the most caring and thoughtful place I've ever lived. And after a 25-year military career that is a lot of different places -- 13 to be precise. There's nobody like people from Corpus. Maybe that's a key motivation for people leaving New York (and similar places) in droves and coming here.



I've lent my vehicles to folks many, many times. And I let people use my stuff as often as they need it if I can accommodate them. I maintain it, so it's pretty resilient. Altruism (you can look it up) does not equal enabling.

"And the king will say to them in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me."
- Matthew 25:40

Get rid of the religious sermon please. You were being a decent person until you put the ridiculous quote at bottom.

 

[ATex7239]

The people who truly need help rarely ever ask for it. The people who always ask for help rarely truly ever need it. I tend not to help the latter. So I’d say no. Buy your own truck for your own business deals.

Also I don’t get people who think just because something isn’t being immediately used it should be loaned out without issue. I’m not using my wife at the moment you gonna ask to borrow her too?

 

[fat biker]

I once loaned a router, with bit to a friend.
He returned the tool on time, the roundover bit was ruined.
I did not mention it to him.
Now if I loan a tool, bits, blades, consumables are not included.

You gave the correct answer, a firm No.