were you bored of life when you were in your 20's?

[andrewg]

Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
Originally Posted By: andrewg
Not trying to be rude here....but having such a casual attitude toward antidepressants is scary and way too arbitrary. To the OP...DO NOT just run to the doctor and ask for Paxil (and they WILL hand it out like candy). Many other ways of dealing with your issues exist as described here in this thread....as well as some research you could easily do online.


Agreed. Drugs are far too often the first choice when they should be the very last choice. People frequently use antidepressants when exercise, self-help strategies, or simply bucking up and dealing with life would work just as well or better—minus the side effects.

Just looking at some of the potential side effects from Paxil-I can't imagine why anyone would ever take it.

•Weakness
•Drowsiness
•Dizziness
•Nausea
•Anxiety or nervousness
•Dry mouth
•Insomnia
•Constipation or diarrhea
•Increased sweating
•Decreased libido
•Agitation or irritability
•Restlessness
•Impulsiveness
•Hyperactivity
•Tremors
•Memory problems
•Allergic reaction - difficulty breathing; swelling of your face, lips or tongue or difficulty swallowing.
•Seizures
•Problems with balance or coordination
•Confusion
•Hallucinations
•Racing or abnormal heart rate
•Fainting
•Suicidal thoughts

Excellent post Pop.

 

[mpvue]

DO:
set goals.
get a job.
go to school.
ride a bike.
get a guitar.
write a book.
read a book.
take something apart.
put something together.
dig a hole.
fill a hole.
plant something.
design something.
paint something.
DON'T:
sit around.
watch TV.
surf for pr0n.
hang out.
drink.
do drugs.
feel sorry for yourself.

 

[andrewg]

Originally Posted By: Miller88
I'll also add that I am scared of the day that I finally accomplish all of my goals. What will I do next?

Right now I have something to work for ... a lot of things to work for. Including - paying off student loans, getting a house, finishing building my Jeep (it takes time as funds are limited).

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of "hanging out". I have a 40 inch TV, HDTV digital cable and ... I watch maybe an hour a week. The way I see it, if I'm sitting on my couch watching TV ... I am wasting time that I could be doing something fun.

Example: I can sit at home and watch netflix on my 40'' TV or I can go to the gym, run and watch netflix.

Anti depressants ... they scare me. I was almost perscribed them at one point (a lot of people suffer from depression) and I outright refused them. I was also given lorazopam (spelling?) for a plane trip ... absolutely refuse to take them ... I don't need to be putting mind altering stuff in my body. Simply put, it's scary what some of the side affects are.

You should be scared of them. Can and DO mess up many folks...including myself. Last resort....never first or even middle. People today are so trusting of what these doctors want to feed you.

 

[mechtech2]

Think hard about what you really like to do.
Fishing, working with your hands, playing music, taking hikes or camping, etc..
There is not enough time in one life to do all things, and do them well. Unless you are the 'Most Interesting Man In the World" Dos XX, it isn't going to happen!
So concentrate on the things you like. Take forced steps - initiate -things will get more comfortable.

 

[morepwr]

In my early 20's I didnt know what I was doing in life. Like you, several friends had moved off or started families when I was still single. I did get a depression about it and it took awhile to find what I wanted out of life. Now I am 41 and am happier than I have ever been in life. You get better at the game of life as you age. Go out and excersise and you will be surprised by how much that will lift your mood. Think about where you want to be in 5 years and beyond and research what you need to do to get there.

 

[Pop_Rivit]

Originally Posted By: Miller88
I'll also add that I am scared of the day that I finally accomplish all of my goals. What will I do next?


Your goals change throughout your lifetime.

When I was your age I my goal was to finish grad school. Soon after I accomplished that it was getting married and being the best possible husband I could be. That also included long term goals such as planning for our retirement, but also short term goals like paying off our house.

In my 30's the goals included paying off our new home that we moved into (done in less than 5 years) and to make our startup software company a success. In my 40's it was to spend some time traveling, which we did. In my late 40's it was to build a new home and have it paid for (or nearly so when we moved in) which we did.

Then, after I sold my share of our software company my goal was to successfully invest in business, which I did with a venture capital group that some friends and I started. One of the things that we helped start was a winery, and after we ended the venture capital group I personally bought a minority share in the winery. Now my goal is to make that as successful as possible. I also ran my own consulting business, with a goal of retiring from it before I'm 70 (I'm retiring at the end of this year at 68).

Future goals? Sure, we have a lot of them. Will they change as time goes on? Absolutely. Will they all be met? Maybe, maybe not. But it certainly gives me the drive to get up every morning, and it's far better than plopping down in front of a television or playing video games. And I'll be darned if I'll get old and feeble like so many other people I know.

 

[Mr Nice]

Pop_Rivit,

Just wondering if you are very religious ?

 

[crinkles]

I would recommend joining the Navy or Army and seeing the world. One of my big regrets that I didn't get involved in something like that. I am now 30, with 3 kids, first arrived when we were 25, so have been busy, with very little time for myself. Before that I was studying at uni straight out of school and into a job straight after that. I would have loved something else to experience.

 

[01rangerxl]

Being in your 20s is a strange transitional period in life. It's when the various paths people can take in life begin to branch off. Hanging out tends to abruptly stop because it drops way down on the priority list. I had a close group of friends in college and we were always doing stuff together, practically daily. Now everyone is either tied up with work, marriage, or some combination. We still hang out, but the frequency is a fraction of what it once was. Honestly most work days I just want to go home at the end of the day anyway.

I wouldn't worry too much about the girlfriend/marriage part. A lot of people I know who got married right out of college are not in good relationships at all. Lots of really horrible infidelity going on. But "OH MY GAWD DADDY I HAVE TO HAVE A $50,000 WEDDDIN' PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!"

Things can be a lot worse than a boring social life. If you are financially stable and otherwise comfortable in life, I wouldn't get bummed out over not getting to hang out all the time.

 

[Pop_Rivit]

Originally Posted By: LT4 Vette
Pop_Rivit,

Just wondering if you are very religious ?



Since that's a subject that is outside the rules of BITOG I'll respectfully decline to answer it.

 

[Spazdog]

Originally Posted By: Garak
Originally Posted By: Spazdog
Earlier in life, you had milestones to look forward to: 16 driver's license, 18 adulthood and high school graduation, 21 drinking age, 22 college graduation...then all the sudden it's, "what now?"


That's quite accurate. Once the milestone's disappear, or you've beaten them too easily, things can look pretty grim, believe it or not. And true enough, there is no answer in the bottom of a bottle.

Milestones - it often appears that the journey is far more important and enjoyable and gives one a greater sense of focus than does the destination.


Man, you said it.

On my solo journey to New Orleans, I found myself on a 2-lane blacktop. Eerily similar to the closing scenes of Easy Rider. I realized that I had no one to drape their American Flag jacket over me when the rednecks blasted me with a shotgun. Had a laugh about that. (fortunately, no one brandished a shotgun at me)My GSX-R was not as comfortable or smooth as my smaller Ninja had been. Had to dodge a big Water Moccasin that was sunning himself on the pavement in the cool early morning. It was actually a really cool ride. One that left me a little worn out for the non-stop party of New Orleans. I drank more chicory coffee than hurricanes and my band friends all hooked up with local girls and left me behind. The ride turned out to be the high point.

Sometimes the journey grinds on you and wears you out, but it can be more important than the destination itself. And I'm not just referring to a motorcycle ride.

 

[Drew99GT]

Originally Posted By: 01rangerxl

Things can be a lot worse than a boring social life. If you are financially stable and otherwise comfortable in life, I wouldn't get bummed out over not getting to hang out all the time.


More truer words have never been spoken. As someone who tried to keep up with the socialites growing up, and being rejected most of the time, I realize it might have been for the better.

Hanging out with the cool kids and getting all the hot women is only cool if you're successful, in the long run. And by successful, I mean at whatever you end up doing in your life.

Just hanging out for the sake of hanging out, is, well, lame to most people who work hard and get [censored] done.

If you work hard and build your life the way you want it, usually you'll find the right people to "hang out with" because you share similar interests, values, and habits.

 

[Carnoobie]

I wish I was in my 20s again. Id do anything.

 

[Spazdog]

Originally Posted By: Carnoobie
I wish I was in my 20s again. Id do anything.


Only if I don't have to make all the mistakes again. Some of them I could do without.

 

[Garak]

Originally Posted By: Spazdog
Sometimes the journey grinds on you and wears you out, but it can be more important than the destination itself. And I'm not just referring to a motorcycle ride.


The absolute worst moments in my life happened right around age 30. I thought I had set sufficiently high goals for myself. Due to a confluence of circumstances, everything fell into place very rapidly, and all my professional goals had been met all at once.

After the initial euphoria, the realization hit - darn, what do I do now? Coast for the next 40 years? Was the last 10 a waste? Did I choose too easy of a path? Or did I "spend all my life's luck" all at once?

I never understood why the rich, famous, and successful would get depressed, get into trouble, commit suicide, or any of that - right until then. Also, there is more to life than a career, but that's another huge topic. For me, I learned to be in a place where I can have progressive goals and keep going. The journey trumps the destination.

 

[The motor guy]

Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
I wish I could go somewhere. Between work and school i've always been stuck in the same place. I think it would be cool to go travel the country for a week or two.


The only person standing in the way of your goals and dreams is you.


Easier said then done. I can't just take two weeks off school to go traveling.

 

[rjundi]

Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
I wish I could go somewhere. Between work and school i've always been stuck in the same place. I think it would be cool to go travel the country for a week or two.


The only person standing in the way of your goals and dreams is you.


Easier said then done. I can't just take two weeks off school to go traveling.


School is not continuous. I worked a lot during school year in college to travel summers(South America). However it was much less expensive for college and life then.

 

[Mr Nice]

How much longer till you finish school ?

What are your plans after school is over ?

 

[CourierDriver]

Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
So i'm 23 and i'm just so tired of life these days. It's been like this for probably the last year or so. I used to be so energetic about doing things and now i'm just not interested in doing anything anymore. All I do is go to school and work and rarely hangout with anyone cause I only have like 3 friends and they're are always so busy. I can never seem to get any other people to hangout with me either. Most of the time I set up times to hangout and they either cancel or never get back to me. The 3 good friends I have don't do that but anytime I try to hangout with someone else it almost always happens. Most people my age have girlfriends and are pretty close to getting married. Plus my social skills are terrible cause I don't really hangout with anyone. I guess i've kind of been a loner for so long and then one day I decided I didn't want that anymore but never knew it would be this hard to meet new people. It sure is hard to find motivation to even get moving in the morning when nobody ever wants to do anything with you. So has anyone else felt like this when they were in their twenties? I just think it's sad I feel this way. I used to have lots of hobbies and interests and now I just can't find the motivation to do anything anymore.


there is the military option, my grandson is looking at the Airforce, not a bad place and you will meet many people, check out their website. www.airforce.com its a thought.

 

[chiks]

Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
I wish I could go somewhere. Between work and school i've always been stuck in the same place. I think it would be cool to go travel the country for a week or two.


The only person standing in the way of your goals and dreams is you.


Easier said then done. I can't just take two weeks off school to go traveling.

Travelling is not the only recourse. Discover new hobbies. Why do you think people here get uoa, voa, etc done? They are not scientists. But it gives something to work on, and share and discuss.