I don't believe its normal. Not one of my current or past 4wd vehicles exhibit that behavior. (Jeep Cherokee, Ford Explorer,and F150). More noises from extra things turning, yes, but no vibrations. None of our work rigs (F150's, Superduties, Explorers, and Suburbans) exhibit that either.
I wouldn't pretend to understand everyones needs for 4wd. I'll note that there are reasons to have 4x4 engaged, even when doing 45, even if not need to do that speed or maintain it. There are snow situations where 45+ is appropriate and reasonable for the conditions, such as in extremely dry snow that falls around zero degrees that is not terribly slick (it barks when you step on it or drive on it).
It may be your choice to not have it engaged, but it does not mean that the speed is unreasonable.