One issue not considered thus far in the discussion is where the trans oil temp is measured. Some advocate measuring the oil in the pan, others the return oil from the cooler and a few the oil out to the cooler. I had a rig with a three way switch and three senders, one each in the pan, the oil line to the cooler and the return oil line.
The actual temps at each position will vary somewhat according to the tranny. Some automatics run hotter by nature than others and vice versa. In my case, the trans was the notorious GM 700R4... known for being a hottie among other things. Ahem!
With the stock vehicle on an 85 degree ambient day at slow speeds in mild four-wheeling situations with the converter unlocked, while pan temp was 190, the outflowing oil was 250+ (gauge pegged), the oil coming out of the factory radiator cooler) was about 200. Similar conditions were experienced when climbing Vail Pass in Colorado with the converter unlocked (I had a "kill" switch to lock out the converter lockup).
I learned that watching the outgoing oil tended to induce heart failure because this oil has been superheated by the torque converter on a 700R4, which has a "slippery" converter. The torque converter is the major heat producing element and the relatively loose lockup converters of today (loose until lockup that is) result in hotter temps generally than the old three speed non-lockup converters of days gone by that had lower stall speeds.
You do not want to know what the temps were on hot days in harder four-wheeling with the stock rig. I twice had the "cherry volcanos" out the dipstick with the gauge pegged in all positions.
Cruising down the freeway in converter lockup at 70 ambient yielded completely different numbers, about 190 to the cooler, 130 out of the cooler and 145 in the pan.
In town, stop and go, at 70 ambient, 195-200 to the cooler, 170 out and 160 in the pan.
In some cases, downhills mainly, the cooler outflow oil was hotter than the inflow.
In my case, an '83 diesel Blazer, I found that the OE radiator cooler could usually pull 40-50 degrees off the oil temp.
When I added an oil to air cooler, it could knock off another 30-100 degrees depending on ambient temp. With that cooler in a Colorado winter I had overcooling problems in normal easy driving. I had the oil-to-air cooler routed after the radiator, so on a 30 degree day the oil in the trans barely warmed up. I rigged it so I could switch the lines and route the air cooler BEFORE the radiator cooler. This was in the '90s and that neat oil thermostat deal was temporaily out of production.
A deep pan knocked another 5-15 degrees off (depending on ambient) in just about every situation.
A shift kit helped a little in town but it was a hard-to-measure blip in the readings. I later had a tighter converter installed, but didn't really test it much. I did note a drop in temp, though.
A big oil-to-air cooler was the answer but it's effectiveness varied according to ambient temp and somewhat to humidity. On humid days, it didn't seem as effective.
The biggest help was going to lower gears. The truck had 3.08s. Temps jumped when I installed 31 inch tires with these gears, but dropped significantly when I swapped in 4.10s. They went back up when I installed 35 inch tires and even higher when I went to 37s, still with 4.10s. They dropped down again when I installed 4.88s. The more you slip the converter, and keep the trans out of lockup, the more heat. Lessen the load with lower gears and you run cooler.
So, your ultimate temp will depend on where you measure it, what tranny you have and your rigs genreal weight and gearing situation. If you have a 700R4 with 200 degrees in the pan, you've got 250+ going to the cooler. Do you want fries with that?
Where to put the sender? Either the pan or the return line, IMO.
To contrast, I have an '86 F-250 6.9L diesel that primarily has been a tow rig. I have a sender in the pan of the C-6 (generally noted a a cool tranny). With a moderately large air-to-oil cooler, it runs 145 on an 80 degree day in town and less on the higway (bottom number is 140 on the gauge). Towing at 18,000 CGVWR it never has broken 200 in the pan.