The parrot

[XJay]

There was this quiet, conservative man who happened to own a parrot. Unfortunately for the man, this parrot swore like a sailor. He would swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. This bird's foul mouth was driving the man crazy. One day, it just got to be too much.

The guy grabbed the bird by the neck, shook him really hard, and yelled "QUIT IT!" But this just made the bird mad and he would start swearing even more.

The guy finally got fed up and said, "OK for you" and locked the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This only aggravated the parrot who contined to claw and scratch the cabinet while he cursed even louder than before with a stream of swearing that would make a sailor blush.

At that point the guy became so mad that he threw the parrot into the freezer!

For the first few seconds the bird started swearing at words at the top of his lungs

He kicked and clawed and thrashed all about the place. Then it suddenly became VERY quiet. At first the guy just waited, but then he started to think that the bird might be hurt.

After a couple of minutes of silence, he became so worried that he opened the freezer door. The bird calmly climbed on the man's out-stretched arm and said, "Awfully sorry about all the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."

The man was astounded. He couldn't understand the transformation that had come over the parrot.

Then the parrot said, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

 

[RWEST]

Good one!!

 

[Gary Allan]

 

[Shannow]

That's always been a goodie.

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.

He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's your name?"

"Clarence," said the bird.

"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"

The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller, Jesus."