Here's why you might want to stop drinking water immediately!
Scientists have confirmed, through trials and research looking back hundreds of years, that people who drink water have a 100% death rate. They also confirmed water is highly addictive with major withdrawal symptoms for those who go without. These withdrawals include thirst, upset stomach, dark urine, fatigue, and even death.
Water is also very difficult to avoid. The vegetables in your fridge likely contain water. Studies have also shown that water is a solvent capable of dissolving many different kinds of particles. Does that sound like something you want in your body?
Further studies have shown that the vast majority of people who get divorced had a drink of water within 24 hours prior, meaning water may be bad for your marriage. Almost 50% of all children who drink water will likely get divorced at some point in their lives. Many parents may be unknowingly condemning their children by making them drink water, forcing their addiction on their children.
Water has also been linked to violent attacks. Every person who was eaten by a shark encountered water right beforehand, meaning being in and around water may increase your likelihood of getting eaten. Studies have shown that water gives dangerous predators an insatiable desire for human flesh. Research into people eaten by animals like bears, tigers, and lions have shown that every one of them drank water recently beforehand.
Tune in next week when we talk about how vehicles that get their oil changed have a 98% chance of ending up in a junkyard.