I give them an honest appraisal of time. If that means next week, then that's when I'm available. Once I explain that if I don't work then my family and I don't eat, and as my great grandmother used to say "if you don't eat, you don't [censored] and if you don't [censored] you die", they figure if I'm dead I can't help them anyway. You don't have to learn to say no, you have to learn to manage expectartions with your family and friends just the same as you should manage expectations with your clients.
Question for self employed people
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Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
Originally Posted By: Kuato
Sounds familiar and normal....my wife's business is the same; her answer: "Nope I've got to work I'm available "X" if that fits in YOUR schedule"
Their answer would be well I work M-F I'm off on the weekends. Of course I can't ever help anyone out on Sunday because everyone is closed normally. Basically they're indicating their job is more important than mine. They don't lose money when they switch around their work schedule, or just flat out not get the work done at all.
Just say no.........
Originally Posted By: Kuato
Sounds familiar and normal....my wife's business is the same; her answer: "Nope I've got to work I'm available "X" if that fits in YOUR schedule"
Their answer would be well I work M-F I'm off on the weekends. Of course I can't ever help anyone out on Sunday because everyone is closed normally. Basically they're indicating their job is more important than mine. They don't lose money when they switch around their work schedule, or just flat out not get the work done at all.
Just say no.........
As Ann Landers once said, " You can't let people take advantage of you unless you let them. "
Remind them that you have this thing called a schedule?
Remind them that you are a human being and take weekends off like the rest of the nation?
If people do not see you as being human just because you work for yourself, I would say it is time you stopped having anything to do with these people. Nobody I know is stupid enough to treat me like a butler and demand I give their needs priority over my own.
Remind them that you are a human being and take weekends off like the rest of the nation?
If people do not see you as being human just because you work for yourself, I would say it is time you stopped having anything to do with these people. Nobody I know is stupid enough to treat me like a butler and demand I give their needs priority over my own.
I've encountered this a handful of times. I work at a school doing IT support during the week, and on weekends I do small engine repair as a side business. The small engine repair somehow morphed into fixing everything according to family and some neighbors. I help them as much as possible, but I let them know it is something I do on the SIDE and that my regular job takes priority. I've only had a few people who expected things to get done right away. I told those people to go to the equipment dealer and pay someone else. They came back after realizing the other person's prices were higher, the wait was longer, and the work was shoddy. Luckily I have been fortunate, but if someone were to have a hissy fit, I'd tell them to politely take their business elsewhere. I don't need the headache, I get enough of those as it is.
I'm happy to offer you help, but you better be ready to offer me cash for my work, and ***I*** will decide whether to accept said moneys or not.
Us "nice" guys have a hard time saying no. Been there: Done that. Problem is though our "good guy" mark makes us easy prey for others. Where are they when WE need a hand? So, we have to learn boundaries, learn to say NO or LATER or else....
Having been self-employed for a long time, it's not nearly as easy as others think. They don't have a clue and many would just fail as they're not responsible enough to have to oversee it ALL. It was certainly a learning experience for me. And the taxes.....geesh. They'd freak having to pay their own every 3 months!
You're going to have to learn to tolerate their foot stomping, childish tirades, barging in on your already-set-schedule, say NO, NOT NOW, not feel guilty and not give in. After all, you have a responsibility to yourself, your schedule, your business, your income and your customers. They don't. They're clueless.
While families can be the worst, neighbors are right up there. I've started charging some for work...by the hour. They know it'll be fixed right...the first time.
So yeah, I used to have trouble with people like you describe, but not so much any more. More than a few I learned won't reciprocate when I need assistance. So that's my response the next time. After all, it works for them, eh? You quickly find out who are chronic users. Don't let them push you around, waste your time or get away playing this game over & over.
Build your healthy boundaries brick-by-brick. Start small, then work up. It'll get easier over time.
Having been self-employed for a long time, it's not nearly as easy as others think. They don't have a clue and many would just fail as they're not responsible enough to have to oversee it ALL. It was certainly a learning experience for me. And the taxes.....geesh. They'd freak having to pay their own every 3 months!
You're going to have to learn to tolerate their foot stomping, childish tirades, barging in on your already-set-schedule, say NO, NOT NOW, not feel guilty and not give in. After all, you have a responsibility to yourself, your schedule, your business, your income and your customers. They don't. They're clueless.
While families can be the worst, neighbors are right up there. I've started charging some for work...by the hour. They know it'll be fixed right...the first time.
So yeah, I used to have trouble with people like you describe, but not so much any more. More than a few I learned won't reciprocate when I need assistance. So that's my response the next time. After all, it works for them, eh? You quickly find out who are chronic users. Don't let them push you around, waste your time or get away playing this game over & over.
Build your healthy boundaries brick-by-brick. Start small, then work up. It'll get easier over time.
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