Question for self employed people

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The motor guy

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Do you guys have trouble with people always assuming you can just work and do whatever you want? Like for example a family member will need some help with something and they will call me up the day or even evening before and be like hey I need your help with bla bla, when I've already set me schedule for that day, so they pretty much messed everything up. Then they throw a hissy fit if I don't help them out. It's getting ridiculous. My dad used to be really bad about this, but I think he's finally getting it, but my brother still just doesn't get it.

The problem is they stomp their feet until they get their way, so you can't just say no. I'm helping my brother tomorrow, but he atleast let me know on Tuesday he was going to need some help, so at least I was able to adjust things a little bit, I figured well maybe he's learning to give me a little notice finally. idk. lol

I know I'm not the only one with this problem, what do you guys do? Of course his normal 8-5 job he can't just take a day off on a day that I'm not busy, that's the other problem is the days he always needs help are my busiest days. I suppose this question applies to everyone, not just self employed people.
 
Originally Posted By: 65f100
It is common that family wants you to do so much FREE work that you can't get your own work done.


I have things I've been wanting to get done for two months now. Not everything can be done NOW. That's just the way it is and they just don't understand that.
 
Tell them you have a busy work schedule, but you'd be happy to help on "Friday" or "Sunday" or whatever.

I wouldn't just let somebody walk all over me, tell them what day works for you, and if that doesn't work for them, well I guess they don't need your help then.
 
Tell them your boss is a jerk and won't give you any time off because it costs him money.

They need to get over it.
 
Originally Posted By: Wheel
Tell them your boss is a jerk and won't give you any time off because it costs him money.

They need to get over it.


I am the boss, that's the problem.
 
I feel your pain. I work 24/7 and I find family members who don't work and are not at retirement age
can do nothing but I'm supposed to be the guy that does it all. They have pensions and great health and can't even get up in the morning. That said my time isn't valuable and when something bad goes down I have to be the one to step up.
Same way with neighbors... Well you're home anyway.........

With my current situation I just tell them like it is.......
You start out each month with $4k in your pocket and I start with 0...
I take care of 4 properties and run a business. I had heart surgery and cancer last year,
Sorry it's time for you to step up and take care of your own affairs which may I add are minimal too boot.
 
Sounds familiar and normal....my wife's business is the same; her answer: "Nope I've got to work I'm available "X" if that fits in YOUR schedule"
 
Back when I used to own a bar everyone was always wanting to buy me a drink. I didn't have time to be drinking. There was work to be done and driving to do. I finally sold the bar and quit drinking altogether.
I do have a problem with everyone wanting my help at my current job. Drives me crazy. I have to tell them that I plan out my day in advance and if they want my help I can do it tomorrow.
 
Originally Posted By: Kuato
Sounds familiar and normal....my wife's business is the same; her answer: "Nope I've got to work I'm available "X" if that fits in YOUR schedule"


Their answer would be well I work M-F I'm off on the weekends. Of course I can't ever help anyone out on Sunday because everyone is closed normally. Basically they're indicating their job is more important than mine. They don't lose money when they switch around their work schedule, or just flat out not get the work done at all.
 
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Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
Originally Posted By: Wheel
Tell them your boss is a jerk and won't give you any time off because it costs him money.

They need to get over it.


I am the boss, that's the problem.


Then be the boss and tell them how it's going to be.
 
Originally Posted By: Pablo
I tell them I will help in a true emergency and when I am retired.

Q: Are these folks not employed or something?


They work Monday-Friday. Off on the weekends.
 
It is okay to say "no" to anyone at any time. It's liberating.
Builds character and self respect. And earns the respect of those brow beating you.

Being on the receiving end of hissy fits and stomping feet is no way to get through life. Grow a pair.
 
I've always made it a point to help family, however they know if they need my help they will need to work around my schedule. I don't mind helping but I'm not going to miss a day or two because they couldn't wait. If it was a immediate emergency then I'm on my way but I've always thought if it wasn't important enough to give me a heads up it must not be that important.

You just have to be consistent. Sooner or later they will get the idea. If your talking about needing help in my field of work then no I've never really had that problem with the exception of family members telling others I'll go check it out right away without my knowledge.

I mainly do brick laying although I've retired from it over the past few years and only pick it up when need be or on rare occasions. I have had family expect free work and normally I try not to charge for small jobs when it comes to family but don't expect me to spend 2-3 days bricking a fire place and cheminee when I could do the same job for anyone else but make $1,700-$2,000.
 
Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
Originally Posted By: Wheel
Tell them your boss is a jerk and won't give you any time off because it costs him money.

They need to get over it.


I am the boss, that's the problem.


That was 'Wheel's' point.

I'm a former business owner. He's saying you need to stand up for yourself, and tell those that make selfish, unrealistic demands on your time, that you have an obligation to provide for you and yours first. Then if you have time you can offer to help when it works for you.
 
Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
Do you guys have trouble with people always assuming you can just work and do whatever you want? Like for example a family member will need some help with something and they will call me up the day or even evening before and be like hey I need your help with bla bla, when I've already set me schedule for that day, so they pretty much messed everything up. Then they throw a hissy fit if I don't help them out. It's getting ridiculous. My dad used to be really bad about this, but I think he's finally getting it, but my brother still just doesn't get it.

The problem is they stomp their feet until they get their way, so you can't just say no. I'm helping my brother tomorrow, but he atleast let me know on Tuesday he was going to need some help, so at least I was able to adjust things a little bit, I figured well maybe he's learning to give me a little notice finally. idk. lol

I know I'm not the only one with this problem, what do you guys do? Of course his normal 8-5 job he can't just take a day off on a day that I'm not busy, that's the other problem is the days he always needs help are my busiest days. I suppose this question applies to everyone, not just self employed people.


Pffff...are you my twin brother from another mother by any chance?

I used to have the same problem, relatives and friends flooding me with help requests, because I have my own gig working from home and not spending 40 hours a week brown nosing some stuck up boss, in their eyes I'm not working LOL.

It got so bad about 8 years ago that I basically told everybody to sod off and fix their own problems...now I have no "friends" and it's brilliant.

I've learned that everyone is necessary but nobody is indispensable.
 
Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
so you can't just say no.


Grow a backbone and learn to use the word no when you need it.
 
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