Anyone have problems getting along with their wife after retirement? Problems that were not there before both of you retired?
Problems getting along after retirement?
- Thread starter callbay
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Not really serious, but it is a step chnge for both which means makeing accomodations as well as responding to changes.
I try to keep our of her hair as much as possible.
A good way to do tat is to go to the grocery or malls frequently and check out the women.
I try to keep our of her hair as much as possible.
A good way to do tat is to go to the grocery or malls frequently and check out the women.
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Probably a very common thing. After spending a lifetime working and being away from home for at least 8 hours a day, you are suddenly home the entire day....TOGETHER. I'm only guessing here but it would probably be best to have each of you plan on doing separate activities during the week so that you will appreciate each other more. Take up a pastime or visit friends....maybe even just a part time job?
When my late Pop retired he was bored out of his mind and drove my Mom bonkers. I told him that he had to find a hobby. One that he found was the Internet. Then there was a good relationship between my Mom and Dad again.
Originally Posted By: Cristobal
When my late Pop retired he was bored out of his mind and drove my Mom bonkers. I told him that he had to find a hobby. One that he found was the Internet. Then there was a good relationship between my Mom and Dad again.
Buddy had the same issue...his dad found the internet as well...
When my late Pop retired he was bored out of his mind and drove my Mom bonkers. I told him that he had to find a hobby. One that he found was the Internet. Then there was a good relationship between my Mom and Dad again.
Buddy had the same issue...his dad found the internet as well...
Since I retired it was brought to my attention by Mama Bear that I had to make a few changes, that her "space" wasn't quite as comfortable as it once was.
She never mentioned my space ......
She never mentioned my space ......
Tom NJ
$100 Site Donor 2026
The key is don't "pick on" or try to change each other. When I worked, my job was to tell people how to do things better and more efficiently. When I try to tell my wife how to do something better, she hears "your doing it wrong again" and goes into defense.
Be best friends, support and compliment each other, don't try to change each other, and learn to accept the differences - even when you are certain that your way is better.
In short - bite tongue, smile, compliment, and kiss. If you concentrate on making her happy, you will be happier as well.
An old Irish saying: A joy shared is doubled, a sorrow shared is halved.
Tom NJ
Be best friends, support and compliment each other, don't try to change each other, and learn to accept the differences - even when you are certain that your way is better.
In short - bite tongue, smile, compliment, and kiss. If you concentrate on making her happy, you will be happier as well.
An old Irish saying: A joy shared is doubled, a sorrow shared is halved.
Tom NJ
Although we're not yet both fully retired we are getting closer, and I don't see any problems at all. My wife is my best friend and, while we currently spend a lot of time together we also have our separate spaces-mine is my shop and hers is her jewelery making studio.
If anything, the added time together is a bonus.
If anything, the added time together is a bonus.
Originally Posted By: daves87rs
Originally Posted By: Cristobal
When my late Pop retired he was bored out of his mind and drove my Mom bonkers. I told him that he had to find a hobby. One that he found was the Internet. Then there was a good relationship between my Mom and Dad again.
Buddy had the same issue...his dad found the internet as well...
When my dad retired he got deeply into the internet.....too much so. Now he's a conspiracy follower on subjects ranging from 9/11, the Rothschild's, the Aluminati, chem trails, fluoride in water, and just about every other controversial topic known to man. He's hard to be around now....but then he has his internet to keep him company.
Originally Posted By: Cristobal
When my late Pop retired he was bored out of his mind and drove my Mom bonkers. I told him that he had to find a hobby. One that he found was the Internet. Then there was a good relationship between my Mom and Dad again.
Buddy had the same issue...his dad found the internet as well...
When my dad retired he got deeply into the internet.....too much so. Now he's a conspiracy follower on subjects ranging from 9/11, the Rothschild's, the Aluminati, chem trails, fluoride in water, and just about every other controversial topic known to man. He's hard to be around now....but then he has his internet to keep him company.
Yes did have problems after retirement. Had 'em before too. My solution: We're getting divorced. Problem solved.
My Dad retired last year,but my Mom hasn't yet. She's worked at the same place for 45 years,and is old enough to retire. I just wonder how they will get along when she finally does retire?? They've had a great marriage of over 40 years so far.
My Dad is not doing to well with retirement which still befuddles me. He has worked in some not-so-great jobs with some of the worst bosses and coworkers ever!! He and I have always shook our heads at people who struggled with retirement or said "You can't just sit around." Dad has never had a problem with being a workaholic,and me neither.
My parents live out in the country. Most the folks from back in the day in the neighborhood have died out,and some of the new neighbors are pretty strange. Dad says that it bothers him that nobody is around down there during the day. He also had to deal with someone breaking into my grandparent's old place and stealing a bunch of stuff,and a septic tank repair that turned out to be very costly and botched. He has lost 50 or 60 pounds this year. He started and abandoned a rat-rod project which I thought he would've really gotten into. As for hobbies,forget it. He's not going to spend any money,and for sure not since he's retired.
My mother-in-law married a retired electrical engineer 10 years ago. He's a great guy,but his mind works all the time. He can't sit still or be satisfied. They love each other,but they really get on each other's nerves. He does do the coffe shop thing though!
My Dad is not doing to well with retirement which still befuddles me. He has worked in some not-so-great jobs with some of the worst bosses and coworkers ever!! He and I have always shook our heads at people who struggled with retirement or said "You can't just sit around." Dad has never had a problem with being a workaholic,and me neither.
My parents live out in the country. Most the folks from back in the day in the neighborhood have died out,and some of the new neighbors are pretty strange. Dad says that it bothers him that nobody is around down there during the day. He also had to deal with someone breaking into my grandparent's old place and stealing a bunch of stuff,and a septic tank repair that turned out to be very costly and botched. He has lost 50 or 60 pounds this year. He started and abandoned a rat-rod project which I thought he would've really gotten into. As for hobbies,forget it. He's not going to spend any money,and for sure not since he's retired.
My mother-in-law married a retired electrical engineer 10 years ago. He's a great guy,but his mind works all the time. He can't sit still or be satisfied. They love each other,but they really get on each other's nerves. He does do the coffe shop thing though!
JHZR2
Staff member
Given the obesity epidemic and outrageous healthcare costs, I'd say that retired folks should take up gym and exercise.
That's what my father did and it seems to be working well.
That's what my father did and it seems to be working well.
Originally Posted By: addyguy
Originally Posted By: Cutehumor
I'm not going to have this problem! with social security and medicare going bankrupt, I'll be working till I'm dead.
+1. I'm convinced my generation will NEVER retire.
I remember the older folks would say that Gen x/gen y are the lazy ones! we'll be working till we are dead. the boomers will retire and live pretty good. ironic isn't it?
Originally Posted By: Cutehumor
I'm not going to have this problem! with social security and medicare going bankrupt, I'll be working till I'm dead.
+1. I'm convinced my generation will NEVER retire.
I remember the older folks would say that Gen x/gen y are the lazy ones! we'll be working till we are dead. the boomers will retire and live pretty good. ironic isn't it?
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Originally Posted By: Cutehumor
I remember the older folks would say that Gen x/gen y are the lazy ones! we'll be working till we are dead. the boomers will retire and live pretty good. ironic isn't it?
Actually in my neck of the woods the boomers are not doing so well..Eight boomer families in the last 2 years [in my building alone] have had their condos foreclosed..I just found out yesterday out boomer couple above me have not paid their maintenance in months and foreclosure in the works.
I remember the older folks would say that Gen x/gen y are the lazy ones! we'll be working till we are dead. the boomers will retire and live pretty good. ironic isn't it?
Actually in my neck of the woods the boomers are not doing so well..Eight boomer families in the last 2 years [in my building alone] have had their condos foreclosed..I just found out yesterday out boomer couple above me have not paid their maintenance in months and foreclosure in the works.
JHZR2
Staff member
Originally Posted By: CROWNVIC4LIFE
Originally Posted By: Cutehumor
I remember the older folks would say that Gen x/gen y are the lazy ones! we'll be working till we are dead. the boomers will retire and live pretty good. ironic isn't it?
Actually in my neck of the woods the boomers are not doing so well..Eight boomer families in the last 2 years [in my building alone] have had their condos foreclosed..I just found out yesterday out boomer couple above me have not paid their maintenance in months and foreclosure in the works.
Good. They drove up the costs to unsustainable levels, now they can bring the costs down to a more reasonable one.
Unfortunately there is a legacy of bad decisions coming from the boomer generation that existed before I could vote or do anything about it. Cutehumor's comments are valid. It is scary... Especially given the legacy of bad decisions Ive seen out of the next generation ALREADY. Its not like they have had 30 years of adult life to screw themselves up...
Originally Posted By: Cutehumor
I remember the older folks would say that Gen x/gen y are the lazy ones! we'll be working till we are dead. the boomers will retire and live pretty good. ironic isn't it?
Actually in my neck of the woods the boomers are not doing so well..Eight boomer families in the last 2 years [in my building alone] have had their condos foreclosed..I just found out yesterday out boomer couple above me have not paid their maintenance in months and foreclosure in the works.
Good. They drove up the costs to unsustainable levels, now they can bring the costs down to a more reasonable one.
Unfortunately there is a legacy of bad decisions coming from the boomer generation that existed before I could vote or do anything about it. Cutehumor's comments are valid. It is scary... Especially given the legacy of bad decisions Ive seen out of the next generation ALREADY. Its not like they have had 30 years of adult life to screw themselves up...
i fixed my wife trouble after i retired, i got rid of her.
My Mom mentioned similar complaints after Dad retired. She had her routine, and he spent 38 years working and spent the last 5 years working as much OT as he could so he didn't have a clue what to do with free time. For the first 18 months after he retired, he did all of the stuff around the house that he had been meaning to do, then ran out of things and went into a deep funk. Spent all day watching TV and I thought for sure he'd be gone in 6 months.
Then he found some things to occupy his time, the computer being one, and de-funked. Still drove Mom crazy at times, but not as badly.
And it didn't extend to just the wife, the rest of the family caught flack until he de-funked.
Then he found some things to occupy his time, the computer being one, and de-funked. Still drove Mom crazy at times, but not as badly.
And it didn't extend to just the wife, the rest of the family caught flack until he de-funked.
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