Life is a circle

That's a hard process, because the real lesson in downsizing for retirement, for example is: your kids don't want your stuff. And I spent a lot of time on clean-outs, and the advice that everybody who does this in North America says, 'You're going to tell me I'm saving this for the kids, and I'm going to tell you, the kids don't want it.'

If you to thrift stores, particularly in the Midwest where that kind of furniture was extremely popular for many, many years, they are overflowing with oak tables that nobody wants. And it comes down to a matter of taste. People want a cleaner look right now. It's something sort of influenced by mid-century modernism. Also, just the way homes are designed with the big windows now, giant oak tables don't go well. And people move around more than they used. And with home ownership rates declining a little bit and you think you're going to be renting for a while, you don't want to keep moving those heavy oak tables. So it's really put this downward pressure on the price of this, what they call in the trade, the 'brown furniture.'

more: https://www.econtalk.org/adam-minter-on-secondhand/
 
But, here's the other angle.

I've invested in "stuff" and I find stuff very useful and rarely let's me down. When my "stuff" let's me down, I toss it, open a box, and replace it with different "stuff."

I've invested in human relationships. Those have almost universally brought momentary happiness, followed by being forgotten, taken advantage of, neglected, ignored, and/or betrayed.

Most of the stories in this thread involve heirs or siblings taking the valuables and throwing out a lifetime of collecting of sentimental or "not valuable but useful" stuff.

So, I ask, why bother in the human relationships? In the end, you're a dollar sign. The valuable stuff taken, the rest goes in a roll off dumpster.

If I were to die with 10,000 loved ones, or none, it matters not really. The valuables go to others, and my sentimental items into a landfill. For instance: I have a framed Bronze Star for my combat deployment heroism service. Nobody cares. It will end up in a landfill.
Thank you for your service, I hope things look up for you.
 
I believe cleaning out your house before you are unable to is about the best gift you can give your heirs. Not saying its easy - my parents went through the downsizing process several times but when they were gone it took about 20 minutes to distribute the remaining items....
 
I believe cleaning out your house before you are unable to is about the best gift you can give your heirs. Not saying its easy - my parents went through the downsizing process several times but when they were gone it took about 20 minutes to distribute the remaining items....
Agreed, by the time many of us are old we will own nothing and be happy anyway. Just kidding...I hope I'm wrong.

Seriously though, bcossa2020 is right. Just start purging useless stuff now. The minimalist lifestyle is a good one. Most personal memories, photos and videos will eventually be uploaded to some metaverse/virtual reality cloud based super computer brain interface in a decade or two so everyone will be able to download you and your stuff.
 
For those who posted they have no close family or friends, if you are interested, there are millions of people out there who could benefit from your wisdom and help.
My Mother taught me to help people when they need it because if you wait it might be too late.

It's a nice sentiment, but I've helped hundreds and probably over 1000 people in large material ways. Not long ago, I was desperate for help. Absolutely desperate. Only a handful of people were willing to help me. I got a lot of "ah, man, I wish I could but....". I am grateful for those that helped, as they made the difference. But so few care.... that's colored my views.
 
It's a nice sentiment, but I've helped hundreds and probably over 1000 people in large material ways. Not long ago, I was desperate for help. Absolutely desperate. Only a handful of people were willing to help me. I got a lot of "ah, man, I wish I could but....". I am grateful for those that helped, as they made the difference. But so few care.... that's colored my views.
Understood. Admire your honety.
 
When my Grandparent's house was cleaned out after my Grandfather passed, I was 300 miles away and didn't know it was the weekend to clear the house. I LOVED my Grandparents, they were the most wonderful people you can imagine. There were a couple things I would have really appreciated if I had the opportunity to keep, but didn't have the chance.

One thing was a very old pair of pliers that for my entire life, hung on a hook at the top of their basement stairs. Every single time I went to their basement, I saw that pair of pliers hanging there. I can still see them as if I were there right now. Just a pair of pliers, but to me much more.

My Grandfather also had a shop in the barn. It was a wonderful shop to a kid who loved to watch and learn from his Grandfather how to fix things. I wish I had the chance to pick just one of my Grandfather's old tools from that shop.

I have no idea what happened to all of their things.

I sure do miss my Grandparents.
 
When my Grandparents house was cleaned out after my Grandfather passed, I was 300 miles away and didn't know it was the weekend to clear the house. I LOVED my Grandparents, they we the most wonderful people you can imagine. There were a couple things I would have really appreciated if I had the opportunity to keep, but didn't have the chance.

One thing was a very old pair of pliers that for my entire life, hung on a hook at the top of their basement stairs. Every single time I went to their basement, I saw that pair of pliers hanging there. I can still see them as if I were there right now. Just a pair of pliers, but to me much more.

My Grandfather also had a shop in the barn. It was a wonderful shop to a kid who loved to watch and learn from his Grandfather how to fix things. I wish I had the chance to pick just one of my Grandfather's old tools from that shop.

I have no idea what happened to all of their things.

I sure do miss my Grandparents.

A touching memorial and also sad. I had a similar experience when my grandmother died unexpectedly. I was away at college. Her affairs were all handled very abruptly. And I got nothing to remember her by, and would have liked even sentimental items. All sold off for a pittance or thrown out by my thoughtless Aunt who handled the estate. :(
 
I worked in a University lab and the guy in the thin films area next door used to sing loudly, "what's it all about, Alfie", every day as he worked. He of course was a WWII vet like most in his age group, on his way to Japan to fight when they dropped the bombs. He already was in Europe fighting the Germans before that I think. Today I can grasp more of the meaning of why he was sing all the time the same tune, than back then.
 
My brother and i went thru this with our parents home we helped them build. I am going for my other knee replacement next week, my brother lost his wife last Xmas. His home is full, his children's homes are full, my garage is full. This month I've sold our unused sports car, 3 dirt bikes, but still have a ton of stuff in the garage to do something with. I don't want to burden my wife or kids with all that. The wife has so many photo albums and sewing stuff and her son lives in Japan, and after seeing America lately, I don't see him ever coming back to live here and he certainly won't have room for hardly anything. It is going to suck, but I'm sure much is dumpster bound.
 
My parents have already started trimming and cleaning, dad's 71 and just retired. Now I'm stuck with stuff I'm going to start pitching, grade cards from high school etc. Face it after 2-3 generations the meaning of most stuff is lost and it ends up in the dumpster. When my grandma passed it was somewhat ok except for one aunt, isn't it always? I claimed a neat quilt that someone made with all the states on it, perfect for the RV. Nope she had to have it, now it's setting in a storage unit probably getting eaten. My cousin will probably toss everything unless my dad is still alive at that time. My other grandma I know how that'll go unfortunately but it's alot of knick knacks and this generation doesn't collect the same.
 
Been through this often as I and my distance family moved often when I was young. We threw things away because new place won't fit (homes were small and is even smaller now), and when grandma moved to nursing home her home needs to be rented out to support the cost, so a lot of things were either "inherited" by my uncle or into the trash / free for neighbor.

My goal is before I die I will give away or toss away most of the junks, and I will tell my children and spouse not to feel bad tossing my stuff away, just keep the good memory.

I burned my report card, recycled my old books already. If I am having terminal illness I'll start distributing things and then die with minimal essentials, hopefully painlessly and economically (I don't think it is worth extending life 6 month for $500k).
 
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I have some need for human relationships. My wife, my children, a few friends, all bring me (mostly) joy while I'm living my life. Your attitude can be extended to why do anything? Why bother going through life at all? Sure, when we're dead none of it really matters but it matters to me right now.

When people hear I'm an atheist they will often say how sad that sounds since (I guess) I'm not living my life towards some eternal bliss in the afterlife. I see it exactly the opposite way. Live the **** out of this life while it lasts. The idea of death does not make me sad, it is something every human who was, is, and will ever be will experice but I do very much like this thing called life. It has its ups and its downs and its share of heartache but in a 14.8 billion-year-old universe I will be here for the blink of an eye and so I want to make it count, I guess for me while I'm alive, since this is the only time it will really matter.
Now I know why my apicoectomy cost 3 grand. Dentists spending money like there’s no tomorrow 🥳
 
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Tool sites are not seeing from me anymore. Amazon? If I need bandages or something. My dad went to Colorado Springs when my grandmother died in 1973. Sold the whole house with everything in it except what he could get in a sedan for 10k. Still know where it it is and remember every detail as we lived with her at one point. It used to be called Colorado City where she lived. Final wake up call, been through it with mother and others, but that was earlier and in young days. Need to clean house. Thanks Bob site.
 
It’s unfortunate but life goes on.

I do understand cleaning parents home and seeing stuff from happier times
 
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