Letting kids wander unsupervised

[JHZR2]

I always walked to school. Didnt have freedom to do whatever I wanted, and I always had an open home to go to before/after school. I wasn't a "latch key" kid, but wasnt attached at the hip either. After 5th grade or so, I was able to ride my bike with friends into adjoining towns to go exploring. Before that we were supposed to stay within our town (which was about a mile square and had good borders on each side), and not go onto any big roads.

I do not recall being driven to school even once, until I got my DL, of course, and then "HAD" to drive to school.

I can see that it could be odd, particularly in more rural areas, to see a young child waling around unsupervised. There is a definite difference between being alone and in a group, and between living in some sort of a town area, and living in a more spread out rural small town (as I would imagine is the case here). I'd also say that speed limits on the roads that the kid is walking on are a factor (especially if there is no sidewalk).

 

[The_Jeff]

My parents were "completely unreasonable" and only let me ride my bike two houses down the block. (Line of sight.) I lobbied for an extention and never got it. Had a sister 4 years younger, she had the same rules.

I flouted those rules, even riding my bike against traffic on the sidewalks of rte 9 in Massachusetts. Never got caught.

 

[Benzadmiral]

I walked three blocks to my elementary school; the only time I recall my parents being involved was the very first day of school, when they brought me, and a few times a year when Dad would pick my brother and me up to go have ice cream. Now they didn't let me go downtown, six blocks away, until I was about twelve -- but that was the year I started riding the public bus about three miles each way to junior high.

An awful lot of this stuff about strangers is nonsense. Not that your kids should go off with strangers or get in their cars, of course; I was taught that too. But a child is far, far more likely to be abused (usually by his mother) or abducted (by a desperate father denied his visitation rights) by a family member than by a stranger.

 

[Dave Hess]

Quote:
Seriously, kids need to wander. It's what they do. All of this over protection and coddling makes kids weak and needy.


Maybe thats because you don't have any kids.

In today's world do you really want to have your kids wandering out in the streets ????

Times have changed so much that you can't just let your kids wander unsupervised and say if something bad happens, then its too bad, tuff lesson learned.

What I hate is when parents drop off their Jr high and high school aged kids at the Mall for a few hours and roam around the mall begging for money or shoplifting.

 

[kkreit01]

^ Exactly! We tried really hard just to have our kids -- and went through a few miscarriages. We may be over-protective, but what's the alternative? Our daughters are 4 & 8. We live in a nice suburb -- but cr%p happens everywhere, everyday. Up until we get a fence (next week), we do not let them outside alone. We always go out and play with them. Our 2nd-grader does not walk or ride her bike to school -- because it's 13 miles one way. I'm already worried about the teenage years -- when they wish to go to the mall with friends. I guess we'll have to cut the leash sometime.

 

[Pablo]

I hear what you are saying, but now even thinking about letting my 10 yo daughter "roam" is just plain scary to her and us.

When I was a "youdth" I was never home. We had walnut and orange and lemon and peach groves all around us.

 

[Dave Hess]

kkreit01,

Even if you lived a half mile from her school, there is no way in h*** that you should even consider letting her ride her bike to school alone.

In some cities/counties, you can search your zip code for sexual predators/child molesters that were released from jail. You will be shocked at the amount of people that are registered sex offenders even in upscale wealthy areas.

 

[oilyriser]

There *is* a lot more traffic on the roads, in most places, now, and that increases the risk.

 

[moribundman]

Originally Posted By: LT4 Vette
In some cities/counties, you can search your zip code for sexual predators/child molesters that were released from jail. You will be shocked at the amount of people that are registered sex offenders even in upscale wealthy areas.


There are 19 registered sex offenders living in my zip code area. The thought of wanting to raise children here (or urban/surban USA in general) would never even cross my mind. Not that I believe keeping kids reasonably safe isn't possible, but at what cost? What kind of life would it be, being raised like a prisoner, being necessarily cynical and mistrusting?

 

[oil_spaz]

Agree 100%. We kids ran loose sunup to sundown--and sometimes after sundown. We ran the neighborhoods, explored and experienced our own little world. We got into minor mischief, but we learned from it. I think it taught me things about the world and getting along with people. Kids are missing that today.

My parents never seriously worried about me, as long as I checked in every once in a while. In fact, they didn't want us hanging around the house. If I needed to be somewhere less than 5 miles away I either walked or rode my bike. No supervision required.

 

[mstrjon32]

Originally Posted By: LT4 Vette
In some cities/counties, you can search your zip code for sexual predators/child molesters that were released from jail. You will be shocked at the amount of people that are registered sex offenders even in upscale wealthy areas.


You don't think there were sex offenders in the "good old days?" The only difference between now and then is back then they weren't registered.

I'm very scared of all the kids of today growing up and running this country. Nothing teaches responsibility and respect like being coddled for 18 years and getting whatever you want whenever you want it.

 

[andyd]

Rode my bike everywhere. Had a paper route of 15 customers spread out on a 5 mile circle My mother would ring us in with a cowbell for supper. She would leave us in the car and go shopping too.
No car seats, no seat belts. Lead in paint and gasoline, asbestos,dioxins, DDT, mutually assured destruction thermonuclear WWIII looming over the heads of us all. The 50's was a great decade to be a kid in.

 

[oilyriser]

I looked up a place in the US, out of curiosity, and the regisered sex offender living nearby had been in jail for "sodomy". You'd think that something being now totally acceptable would get someone stricken off the list.

 

[Virtuoso]

My kids walk unless it's seriously pouring rain or freezing cold..below 0 with heavy wind. Otherwise, it's only about five or six blocks to school (we live in a town of 5,000). Even in this small of a town, though, I'd have to agree that 90% of kids are still driven.

They whine sometimes, but that's life. It's good for them and us too.

 

[1sttruck]

I use to walk to school, stayed afterwards for baseball, walk home, leave in the morning to go play and come back at lunch unless I had packed one and told my parents that I was going somewhere. My friends and I had a large area to run around in, thru neighborhoods and fields, miles in all directions. As I got towards junior high I'd take longer trips to see friends. As I got older I use to hitch hike across states, but as one heard more and more about bad incidents the number of people hitching dropped off.

It seems different these days. Although the percentage of weirdos may be the same the fact that it's a LOT more crowded means that there are more of them out there, so if you stand out you're more likely to get confronted.

 

[Stewart Fan]

My son couldn't walk to school if he wanted to. Walking to school is against school policy. The school is on a main road with a 45mph speed limit.

The kids either ride the bus or get dropped off.

Other than that,he pretty much has free reign of the neighborhood. There are about 10 boys from 7-10 years old that "roam" around the neighborhood. They're either on bikes or scooters and go from house to house. They get tired of one kids house and they're off to the next. My son checks in every 30 minutes or so.

They're like a pack of Hells Angels when they roll into our driveway. Its usually because someone threw a chain and they need it fixed. Apparently I'm the only dad in the neighborhood that can fix a chain.

 

[IndyIan]

Originally Posted By: LT4 Vette
kkreit01,

Even if you lived a half mile from her school, there is no way in h*** that you should even consider letting her ride her bike to school alone.

In some cities/counties, you can search your zip code for sexual predators/child molesters that were released from jail. You will be shocked at the amount of people that are registered sex offenders even in upscale wealthy areas.


I don't have any hard references but I've heard numerous times on the news that crime is down compared to years ago, statistically kids are safer now than you were growing up.

Would you let your boy play football? He has way higher odds of ending up in wheel chair if you do... I think risks have to be taken but not blindly. Sending your kid out with no advice or guidelines is asking for trouble, setting them up with some basic rules and strategies to stay safe reduces the risk greatly.

Maybe you feel there is nothing gained by kids having some independence and responsibility for their safety at a young age, or you have a better way for them to learn than being unsupervised in your neighborhood. Obviously, do what you think is best for your situation.
Ian

 

[The_Jeff]

There was a guy around here on the sex offender registry for statutory rape, eg an 18 year old having "consensual" relations with a 16 year old... and a vigilante group killed him and someone else on the list the same night.

The registry did not discern stat rape from something from "silence of the lambs".

 

[PandaBear]

Originally Posted By: eljefino
There was a guy around here on the sex offender registry for statutory rape, eg an 18 year old having "consensual" relations with a 16 year old... and a vigilante group killed him and someone else on the list the same night.


It is the vigilant group that I'm concerned about. It is very easy to tick these people off and make them anti-whatever and have them turned against you all of a sudden.

Burning Hummers, shooting abortion doctors, burning crosses, killing rapists in the name of (insert a supreme being here) are all the same. People doing this out of their own hatred and just want to take it out on somebody, blaming them for all of their problems, instead of finding a solution or compromise.

 

[Pablo]

Panda/el jefe/oily please post some stats to back your thought patterns.

Face it - You guys are off in the weeds. As bad as it is, that khrap just doesn't happen that much....relative to the real abuse of women and children......wow.........