or you could just disable the (auto stop/start) system.
How many engines have you personally worn out?
It's not a question of "wearing out an engine".
Instead my concern would be excess wear caused by high temperature / high sheer conditions which can permanently sheer a 20 weight oil to a 16 weight or even lower viscosity after 4k miles. Over time, without enough film strength the excess wear can cause an engine that uses no oil in between oil changes to start consuming oil. I currently don't own a start/stop engine.
I currently own 2006/2007 Honda Odyssey EX-L's with the VCM1 (VCM1 didn't have the oil consumption defect that VCM2 on 2008 and newer Odysseys had). So I prefer not to muzzle the VCM1, so I can get the better gas mileage by driving about 40% of the time on only 3 cylinders. I drive with a light foot, I coast a lot, and I accelerate before hills so I can let the momentum carry me up a hill). After detailed discussions with Trav on this board years ago, it became evident that 20 weight oil (as recommended in the owner's manual) was not a good fit for the Honda J series 3.5 Liter V6 with VCM engines. Trav mentioned that as a mechanic, he saw a very common issue of varnish on the front 3 cylinder heads which get extra hot and also extensive sludge in the engines. Trav recommended using a thick 5W-30 or perhaps a 5W-40 as that was what that same engine is speced for in Europe. I also use Fram Ultra Synthetic oil filters, as they have an efficiency rating of 99%+ to remove the small oil particles which can cause engine wear which other filters miss.
My current oiI change strategy is to use Pennzoil Platinum High Mileage 5W-30 (with Viscosity @ 100C = 11.4), and HTHS approximately 3.1/3.2 with a 4k oil change interval. This has done a good job of treating the oil seals on my Odysseys, and none of them have any oil leaks at all. But, if I plan to do any severe driving like a long vacation that might include going up steep mountain hills for example, I'll use Castrol Euro 5W-30 A3/B4 oil (with Viscosity @ 100C = 12.1, and HTHS = 3.5). I also have an Audi, which only get's Castrol Euro 5W-30 A3/B4.
I'm not looking to start a thick versus thin debate, as I know both sides are happy with their choice for their own reasons and not looking to change any one's mind. I am different that most people, as I like to keep engine and transmission wear to the absolute minimum with a target of keeping each vehicle for 200k to 300k miles. I also do a drain/fill of my transmission fluid every year with Honda genuine transmission fluid.