Increasing hostility on BITOG

[Passport1]

I think most of the gentlemen posting here are pretty congenial. As for dealing with the Chinese virus impact on our civility, I mostly avoid crowds and people I don't know. As old as I am, I've likely met most of the people I'll ever know in more than passing. Not too many of them so I can't afford to offend any.

 

[Kestas]

It's not unusual to see guys get combative in automotive forums. It simply mirrors what happens in real life. Think about all the times guys get together and talk. Once talk is automotive related, the testosterone really starts flying.

 

[Aredeeem]

I, for one, am content with the “short leash” BITOG approach. If I feel the need to indulge in the “no holds barred” forums that are out there I have unlimited opportunities.

 

[Aredeeem]

Agreed Kestas, but there’s a subtle difference between what is said face to face and texting. Personal back and forths, even those that are in disagreement, can usually be settled by personal interaction. We agree to disagree with mutual respect for the other’s opinion. Texts are a different animal. They hang in the air, are misunderstood or poorly stated. They benefit from being more closely moderated. Tough job yours.

 

[GR_CoB]

The townies with the XX,XXX 5-figures post counts that camp out here are the worst offenders. Some of them think and act like they own the place.

These guys often have been on BITOG for a long time and have a lot of useful knowledge. But... instead of sharing the useful knowledge they often leave useless knowledge and provocative comments and play the victim when people snap back in return. Or start hairsplitting waaay beyond OP's question, comment, or concern. Sadly 95% of the time they get away with it, as if post count somehow gains a person the Untouchable status.

But looking at a bigger picture - BITOG is a great forum, with a lot less bad apples than 99% of other forums.

 

[aquariuscsm]

Hello:

There seems to be more and more confrontation and hostility here on BITOG, attitudes and comments that go beyond ordinary disagreement. Some threads have more back and forth rock throwing than actual discussion about the OP's original question. A rolling coal thread went so far off the rails it turned into an HOA rant. Bright headlights turned into baseball bat revenge and prison time. Really?

Yeah, the world is a messed up place right now. But we have this tiny little "nation of BITOG", all of us here because we share a mutual interest. And yet some of our "citizens" throw rocks at each other, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth until they get bored, wear themselves out, or give up in frustration. What does that accomplish?

I suspect that if all of us were able to meet at some gigantic BITOG member party, we'd have one heck of a good time. We'd meet the guy who likes thin oil and find him a nice guy. We'd meet the guy who likes thick oil and find him a good dude. We'd meet the Subaru or MB owner, often times the target of wrath here on BITOG, and enjoy a friendly conversation with them. The 20K OCI guys would meet the 3K OCI guys and laugh at some good jokes. We'd meet the user who we always assumed was a man, only to find out they're a woman! We might even meet the member we "hate", only to exchange a friendly handshake and wonder how we got it so wrong.

With respect to BITOG, why does a person allow themselves to get angry because of another person's post? You are giving that person great power over you. You are making yourself a victim!

Here's an idea. Instead of getting your blood pressure up, how about simply avoiding subjects that you know will anger you. Instead, engage in useful discussions, discussions that you can add actual value. You're not going to change someone else's viewpoints on life, and they're not going to change yours. Let the "antagonists" shout into the wind. They can't force you to listen. And with respect to the "antagonists", the ones in a perpetual bad mood, take a chill. You're wasting your time. I'm not listening.

Y'all have a nice day. Seriously.

Scott

That’s a good picture of you Scott!

 

[Bottom_Feeder]

Being a member of NASIOC for 20 years, the level of 'hostility' on BITOG (what there is of it) doesn't even register on my meter.

I'm glad that this is generally a knowledgeable, polite bunch but I've seen a few on here that seem to be here solely for poking the beehive but then get all offended when they are called on it. But those people are on EVERY forum so it's normal.

 

[SZR48207]

Most other auto forums tend to have huge problems when it comes to "auto myths" like Fram filters being dog food grade (they really aren't bad for something you can buy at literally any WM in any city) or how oil grades work.

Even more technical topics on other auto forums pale in comparison to the depth of knowledge we can find here.

 

[gathermewool]

Anyone have an idea what lubricant we can use to ease the OP’s friction issues?

 

[Hall]

These guys often have been on BITOG for a long time and have a lot of useful knowledge. But... instead of sharing the useful knowledge they often leave useless knowledge and provocative comments and play the victim when people snap back in return. Or start hairsplitting waaay beyond OP's question, comment, or concern.

I see that as well. They feel like they're not to be questioned or doubted.

Anyway, just use the "Report" button. I do... Let the staff decide.

 

[Wolf359]

“I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man...

and I HATE people like that!”

- Tom Lehrer.

That's right up there with

Shoot all extremists.

 

[Astro14]

Tom Lehrer is a gifted satirist...

 

[wdn]

I stand buy my earlier statement, as I have seen it acted out here very often, and just as I have seen it play out on other forums. There are people on here who agree with me. Yes there are Untouchables on here.

 

[KGMtech]

I frequent watch forums, car forums and BITOG. I spend the most time at BITOG, and it has left me with the impression that the OP is correct in his observations. I used to moderate a watch forum, and what a sour experience that was! never again! For reference, the visible hostility on most watch forums is less than 5% of what I see on BITOG on any given day.

So either the mods here have a far greater tolerance for typed hostility, or they don't police much and depend on members reporting same to their inbox. So as I mentioned, I spend the most time here despite the hostility, it's because on total measure most members are knowledgeable and polite.

I accept there is no single correct oil, no single best oil filter, nor a definitive OCI that will suit each car, so we debate and defend our positions based on our singular or collective experiences, confident that the anonymity of the net allows us to be less polite typing than if we were meeting face-to-face across a table.

I don't see any recent worsening of BITOG culture that could be attributed to Covid, or POTUS, Global Warming, Brexit, etc, it's about the same as it has always been IMHO.

 

[Astro14]

I stand buy my earlier statement, as I have seen it acted out here very often, and just as I have seen it play out on other forums. There are people on here who agree with me. Yes there are Untouchables on here.

First, there is a great deal of moderating that takes place without you being aware. Editing, deleting, messaging, banning, all of it...

And I assure you that no one is untouchable. That's a false accusation. Moderators do respond to every notification, and we critique each other in order to maintain standards. I'm not afraid to ask another mod to give me their take on a situation or poster. We also have monthly meetings to discuss issues and decisions. It keeps us synchronized and as fair as we can be.

Next, if you can't see the hypocrisy in making hostile posts, while complaining about hostility, I can't help you.

Sorry you feel that way.

 

[wdn]

If you don't notice the daily beatdowns of new members on here by certain of the 'regulars' that drives people away ... what else can I say. I didn't start this thread. I am certainly not here to argue with one of the mods, that would be a fools' errand. I who just come here for the laughs and sometimes on a good day to learn something, notice the attitude daily. That is all I have to say on this subject.

 

[spasm3]

I'm sure i have posted things i should not have in the past. I certainly am not going to claim i have not posted something stupid. But i like to think, that i have a different frame of mind then i did 10 years ago when i joined.

I think there are those who post with great enthusiasm about an additive, product etc. When that additive gets scrutinized, and perhaps what value it really has gets questioned, the poster can feel like its "hostile", when in reality its just a judgement of the product based on its technical merits. The poster is not being attacked, just the merits or lack of what they posted. That's not really an attack. Its not personal, its judgement of the product. I.E. the merits or lack of of Seafoam, Lucas, Archoil , MMO, etc.

On the other hand there are discussions, where the conversations goes from questioning the product to personal attacks.

Things like, " are you on crack?" Etc.

So i see both sides. I have seen members banned for this,( Pop_Rivit) so i think the mods keep it in check. There are probably posts we see before the mods do, and some posts that the mods catch pretty quick and most members never see it , and are aware it was even removed.

I think each member here should ask themselves the same questions i ask my work subordinates. Are you drawing people toward you ( in this case the site) or are you pushing people away from you( and away from the site).

The feeling and attitude of the site, is somewhat what we make it.

 

[ZeeOSix]

There seems to be more and more confrontation and hostility here on BITOG, attitudes and comments that go beyond ordinary disagreement. Some threads have more back and forth rock throwing than actual discussion about the OP's original question.

The forums and threads I've been reading and posting in lately seem to be more mellow these days then before. Guess it depends on what forum people mostly hang out in.

 

[ZeeOSix]

Here's an idea. Instead of getting your blood pressure up, how about simply avoiding subjects that you know will anger you. Instead, engage in useful discussions, discussions that you can add actual value. You're not going to change someone else's viewpoints on life, and they're not going to change yours.

A lot of the "debates/arguments" here are technical in matter. There is a lot of technical misinformation thrown around on BITOG. When people who know a lot about the subject matter chime in and try to squash the misinformation is when it can sometimes get a bit "heated" if the people hanging on to misconceptions get a bit bent out of shape over it. I really don't see much wrong with "technical debates" as long as it doesn't get too "personal".

 

[Astro14]

If you don't notice the daily beatdowns of new members on here by certain of the 'regulars' that drives people away ... what else can I say. I didn't start this thread. I am certainly not here to argue with one of the mods, that would be a fools' errand. I who just come here for the laughs and sometimes on a good day to learn something, notice the attitude daily. That is all I have to say on this subject.

I really don’t see it. I spend a lot more time just reading now than I used to, trying to keep things civil, but I can’t read every post.

If you’re seeing it, then help us all out. Use the “report” function.

Be part of the solution.