My wife is not a gun enthusiast , but is not opposed to guns. She has shot with me at the range. She does not mind shooting my walther p22.
She works from home, takes internet phone calls, and wears headphones as part of her job. She has a 1 hr break and usually spends that with our small dog outside.
Our home is a bit off the road, not very visible to others ( woods on all four sides), you could kick in our front or back door and no one would notice. There will be several town homes and a development build very close to us soon, so it will be noticeable that our house is there, but not out in the open, I.E. a target.
I'm trying to get her to entertain the idea of keeping a pistol on her side during the day, so that its always with her. She does keep one in her little home office, but its not with her as she moves about the house or goes outside.
We are going to the range this week, but i dont think she is going to like shooting much more that my walther p22.
I'm thinking about getting her a Walther PPQ 22. It has no safety and if she gets really used to it , maybe i could move her up to the Walther PPQ in 9mm.
That way the 9mm would be the same size and feel as the .22.
Thoughts ?
The PPQ is the hardest-recoiling 9mm I've ever fired. Fantastic trigger, though. Just wish it didn't feel like a 40sw to shoot.
I went with a CZ P10s. It's just a hair smaller than a glock 19, but it's easy to shoot very well. It's the smallest gun I can shoot well and hit with. (mag dump on an IPSC plate at 25y and not miss). I'm not very good with a pistol, but the CZ makes me a better shooter.
Anyway, let's go to the points of your OP:
-- 22 Rimfire is better than nothing but you don't want to trust your life to rimfire ammo if you can help it.
-- A heavy, all-metal 9mm can be a great way to step up to a duty caliber and still have something easy to shoot. I've found the easiest way to get someone into 9mm is in a 1911. Something about 1911 ergonomics and weight in the lighter 9mm just make it super easy for new shooters to make hits. It helps to have a great single action trigger when you're new. It tends to discourage flinch and yanking the trigger that causes many new shooters to not be able to even hit a paper silhouette at 7y.
I'm not a fan of 45 ACP (sacrilege!), but I do love the 1911. A full size 1911 in 9mm is one of the most approachable, shootable platforms there is. Yes, it means the single action manual of arms, so it's not a slam dunk. But IMO you want something super easy to shoot well for a beginner, and it's tough to beat a 1911. She can carry it hammer down on an empty chamber with the safety off. If out in the sticks, you'll usually have plenty of time to rack the slide.
The next best full size 9mm for new shooters IMO has to be a full size CZ75. The ergonomics are excellent, and it's a much smaller gun than many people realize, even though it holds 15-16 rounds. With the Omega trigger setup, it can be used single action like a 1911. Or get a decocker variant.
DA/SA pistols are excellent for experienced shooters, but I recommend against them for newer shooters who haven't or can't train enough to master the DA/SA transition. One could carry it cocked and locked, then decock as needed. Classic Metal Sigs are the quintessential DA/SA gun, but many female shooters find the grips too wide and will struggle to control them (even on a "compact" like a P229-- they are wide and chunky).
In a striker gun, don't overlook the longslide Glock options-- G17L or G34. They really are more shootable with the extra slide mass, and the longer sight radius helps. (Although I *strongly* recommend a red dot for any pistol that might need to make a shot behind 20y or so. Check out the affordably excellent ones from Lux Tactical-- they are a newer company but I have two of them that are wonderful and holding up very well).
Finally, let's not overlook the full size .357 revolver. The DA trigger means no need for a safety ever. Easy to cock into SA. Easy to train and learn because everyone has watch enough old TV to understand how a revolver works. Load with lighter 38SPL and work up to .357 if ever needed. A .38spl load in a full size .357 is SUPER easy to shoot and very mild recoil. It's a perfect gun for a beginner. You have a million size ranges from a full size Redhawk capable of shooting nuclear hot magnum rounds all the way down to little LCRs.
I'd start someone off with a 686 or GP100 Match Champion as a superb, general-purpose 4" .357 Magnum in a full size frame. It's heavy enough to tame the recoil quite well, but light enough you can carry it just fine.
If your wife can handle the weight, an 8-shot Redhawk is a heck of a lot of firepower, bombproof tough, and will make 38spl feel like a rimfire.
The more I typed that out, the more I like the idea of a 357 mag revolver for your wife or anyone similarly situated in a rural area.