An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an 'Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order' sign, just 'Escalator Temporarily Stairs'. Sorry for the convenience. Mitch Hedberg
What happens on the Web, stays on the Web. Forever. And anyone can Google it.
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism" - George Bernard Shaw
There is nothing more dangerous then a well educated complete moron.
The big things in life all center around not dying... something that will happen anyways.
"Love is the illusion that one woman differs from another." - H.L. Mencken
Envy. Terrible to feel. Wonderful to evoke.
"The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps." -- Benjamin Disraeli
"Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." - Dalai Lama
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
The road to success is always under construction.
"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."
Running with the heard is fine... until the herd runs over the edge of a cliff.
I never learned from a man who agreed with me. Heinlein
Beware of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss. Heilein
"He lies here, somewhere." - physicist Werner Heisenberg's headstone
Nothing is impossible for the man that doesn't have to do it himself.
Before you can win, you have to not lose -Vince Lombardi
An average pencil is 7 inches long with a 1/2" erasure. Clearly, optimism is alive!
"Household tasks are easier and quicker when they are done by somebody else." - James Thorpe
Everyone is a pacifist between wars. It's like being a vegetarian between meals.
Human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time. - George Orwell
"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge." -- Charles Darwin
Stress is waking up screaming and realizing that you haven't fallen asleep yet.
For a list of the ways technology has failed to improve quality of life, please press 3.
The future, according to scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive.
"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it."- Henry David Thoreau
"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." -- Albert Einstein
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." -- Milton Berle
Work is the curse of the drinking classes - Oscar Wilde
"It's the friends you can call up at four a.m. that matter." -- Marlene Dietrich
"You can fool too many of the people too much of the time." -- James Thurber
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living somebody else's life." - Steve Jobs
"Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there." - Steve Jobs
"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get." -- Warren Buffett
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop
It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon; which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to. -- Franklin P. Jones
What happens on the Web, stays on the Web. Forever. And anyone can Google it.
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism" - George Bernard Shaw
There is nothing more dangerous then a well educated complete moron.
The big things in life all center around not dying... something that will happen anyways.
"Love is the illusion that one woman differs from another." - H.L. Mencken
Envy. Terrible to feel. Wonderful to evoke.
"The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps." -- Benjamin Disraeli
"Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." - Dalai Lama
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
The road to success is always under construction.
"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."
Running with the heard is fine... until the herd runs over the edge of a cliff.
I never learned from a man who agreed with me. Heinlein
Beware of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss. Heilein
"He lies here, somewhere." - physicist Werner Heisenberg's headstone
Nothing is impossible for the man that doesn't have to do it himself.
Before you can win, you have to not lose -Vince Lombardi
An average pencil is 7 inches long with a 1/2" erasure. Clearly, optimism is alive!
"Household tasks are easier and quicker when they are done by somebody else." - James Thorpe
Everyone is a pacifist between wars. It's like being a vegetarian between meals.
Human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time. - George Orwell
"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge." -- Charles Darwin
Stress is waking up screaming and realizing that you haven't fallen asleep yet.
For a list of the ways technology has failed to improve quality of life, please press 3.
The future, according to scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive.
"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it."- Henry David Thoreau
"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." -- Albert Einstein
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." -- Milton Berle
Work is the curse of the drinking classes - Oscar Wilde
"It's the friends you can call up at four a.m. that matter." -- Marlene Dietrich
"You can fool too many of the people too much of the time." -- James Thurber
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living somebody else's life." - Steve Jobs
"Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there." - Steve Jobs
"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get." -- Warren Buffett
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop
It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon; which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to. -- Franklin P. Jones
