Friends and cheating

[vavavroom]

As long as they aren't using you for a cover up story, best to stay out of it.

This was attempted by by coworker. He actually pulled it off the first time but now I'm on to him and it hasn't happened again. He invited me to have dinner with him so we could talk about blah-blah and during the meal he asked the waiter to take a picture of the two of us. I found that a little odd. He hadn't eaten very much and he casually mentioned and bragged that he was saving space for a second dinner and presumably "dessert" with his lovebird the same evening. I knew he was going to send his wife the picture of him and me as an alibi later that night. What a dog. I later told him I was not ever going to be his alibi again.

 

[medunko]

My old boss used to say "I only have 3 friends and don't like 2 of them".

Unfortunately the key element here is “old”, with the age pple are getting more selfish and the ego is more precious thing to hold on. Judging my father and my friend’s fathers, no compromise are made , nobody’s listen the other one. Little bit sad but the real calm is that other pple with aging getting more sagely and profound

 

[JimPghPA]

I'd devise a subtle way to get the information to the wronged party without having my fingerprints on it.
Then, from there, it is incumbent upon them to manage their own life.

If you're going to go that route, the United States Post Office sells postcards very cheap. The postcard in the mail can be anonymous. Or if you're concerned that the person committing the offense may interfere and intercept the postcard then a letter has a better chance of being opened by the person who needs to know. But it can still be anonymous.

In some ways, I feel that one would have an obligation to inform the uninformed person because there are some sexual transmitted diseases out there that can kill or severely damage a person's health, and a cheating partner could bring that home to them.

 

[JimPghPA]

One time, one of my brothers found out about a life-threatening design of a piece of medical equipment. The equipment was already in the field being used. He was concerned that if he turned in the problem it would come back at him. I told him that postcards are cheap and can be anonymous. He sent a postcard into the FDA and that piece of equipment was removed from all the hospitals that it was installed in. And it did not backfire him.

Of course that was a totally different situation, but it just goes to show that sometimes the United States mail can be a nice autonomous way of getting a message across.

 

[miden851]

if they are sane just a bit, they both know what is going on; you cannot hide the stuff like that indefinitely, especially if a woman does the dirty laundry

i'd stay away from it just as others have suggested too

 

[vavavroom]

if they are sane just a bit, they both know what is going on; you cannot hid stuff like that, especially if a woman does the dirty laundry

i'd stay away from it just as others have suggested too

Another guy I know has had a girlfriend on the side for over 15 years. He leads a double life. His wife is quite a bit older than he is. She is, due to poor health, house-ridden. He takes care of her but he also has a girlfriend who is also older than him and they bought a house together 70 miles from his house in the city. He commutes almost every day and spends any free time at his girlfriend's house but every night he goes home to his wife. He works crazy hours and is totally stressed to begin with. He hasn't been caught yet.

 

[miden851]

Another guy I know has had a girlfriend on the side for over 15 years. He leads a double life. His wife is quite a bit older than he is. She is, due to poor health, house-ridden. He takes care of her but he also has a girlfriend who is also older than him and they bought a house together 70 miles from his house in the city. He commutes almost every day and spends any free time at his girlfriend's house but every night he goes home to his wife. He works crazy hours and is totally stressed to begin with. He hasn't been caught yet.

I bet she knows for it even though she is that sick, yet she opt for doing nothing

 

[Shannow]

If you're going to go that route, the United States Post Office sells postcards very cheap. The postcard in the mail can be anonymous. Or if you're concerned that the person committing the offense may interfere and intercept the postcard then a letter has a better chance of being opened by the person who needs to know. But it can still be anonymous.

My ex had all the mail transferred to a Post Office box, then put the "filtered" mail in the mailbox for me to get out of the box as I came home from work...

 

[Pew]

Another guy I know has had a girlfriend on the side for over 15 years. He leads a double life. His wife is quite a bit older than he is. She is, due to poor health, house-ridden. He takes care of her but he also has a girlfriend who is also older than him and they bought a house together 70 miles from his house in the city. He commutes almost every day and spends any free time at his girlfriend's house but every night he goes home to his wife. He works crazy hours and is totally stressed to begin with. He hasn't been caught yet.

That sounds like the stories from a couple that used to live in my cul-de-sac, except the husband was bed ridden and the wife would go out and "do her thing."

 

[AZjeff]

Unfortunately the key element here is “old”, with the age pple are getting more selfish and the ego is more precious thing to hold on. Judging my father and my friend’s fathers, no compromise are made , nobody’s listen the other one. Little bit sad but the real calm is that other pple with aging getting more sagely and profound

Well, old boss as in old job that I retired from. He was in his 60s and just wasn't much of a people person. Don't think it had to do with aging.

 

[vavavroom]

I bet she knows for it even though she is that sick, yet she opt for doing nothing

She probably knew about it years ago but has forgotten about it. She has dementia. He's just nuts.

 

[Flashlightboy]

MYOB

 

[zzyzzx]

Lots of good stories about stuff like this on this YouTube channel:

https://www.youtube.com/@Mr.Reddito

 

[zzyzzx]

Obligatory (I love this TV show):

 

[dnewton3]

This often becomes a "lose-lose" proposition.

- If you don't say anything, you are culpable in cheating by association. If you believe both those mates to be worthwhile friends, then not saying anything to either person makes you complicit; you are essentially condoning the act. Consider this akin to the old adage "For evil to triumph, good men need do nothing."​

- If you say something, you are risking being the bearer of bad news; this often ends up with a loss of friend(s). This falls under the old adage of "No good deed goes unpunished."​

Either way, it's not comfortable.

Rarely, confronting the issue may save a marriage. There does exist in some people the ability to talk it out and heal. Sometimes things have to hit rock bottom before they can improve. I've known this to happen in a marriage; the cheater confessed to his spouse, and was forgiven. The marriage is more sound and solid today than ever before.


My point is that there's no way to know until you walk the path. It's likely to not end well, but occasionally challenging the status-quo can result in better times ahead.

 

[Trav]

 

[Vil_Riker]

.

 

[Pew]

Obligatory (I love this TV show):
View attachment 184976

Is that still taping? I can hear his voice.

"I'm Joey Greco And welcome to cheaters."

 

[vavavroom]

There's also such a thing as willful ignorance. Some may shut an eye when it comes to their partner cheating, maybe out of convenience, fear, or just apathy. The well-being of the kids, keeping the house, the cars, and their reputation and appearances may be preferable to getting rid of the cheater. There are also slippery stairs, food poisoning, and other solutions like crimes of passion - not that I recommend or condone those.

 

[wpod]

That is a place you do not want to go.