My neighbor is in his late 70s. His wife passed away recently. He has some liquid assets in his bank accounts and receives Social security and a moderate pension. His only child is attempting to seize his assets by having him declared with dementia etc. This is against his wishes. I accompanied him to his bank and a bank employee informed me that his son is pursuing the channels to take control of his bank account. I want to help but don't want to get overly involved. My inclination is to recommend an elder law attorney, but don't know where to begin.
elder law question
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If you are trying to find legal assistance, you might try looking up attorneys in your area at Martindale-Hubbel. They have peer review rankings and overall, I have found them to provide an excellent list of law firms to work with. Your neighbor can call several if he likes to get a couple of opinions. Most will give an initial consultation for free. Here's a link:
Matrindale Hubbell Elder Law
Good luck. These things are always ugly and painful.
Matrindale Hubbell Elder Law
Good luck. These things are always ugly and painful.
Originally Posted By: DB_Cooper
Should be an Elder Law specialist at the local legal aid society..low cost or free..could be a wait time..google them.
+1. This is the first place to try to see if he income or asset qualifies. Step 2: make sure his will is up to date.
Should be an Elder Law specialist at the local legal aid society..low cost or free..could be a wait time..google them.
+1. This is the first place to try to see if he income or asset qualifies. Step 2: make sure his will is up to date.
The state bar association can give you a referral. Let us hope the lawyers don't fight over it until it's all paid out in legal fees.
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Experienced both ends of the spectrum, most people at that age have high anxiety and dementia adds a twist to it.
Having lost a parent to Dementia I have experienced what the disease can do.
Is the child looking after his interests or just trying to do a money grab?
I am shocked too that the bank even spoke to him,
Only with a court order can the child even get the bank to do anything? From what you have said, sound like the child has filed motions in local court and has served the bank to do xyz till the motion is heard.
Do you know if the doctors have deemed in mentally unfit?
The experts are key here, the courts will not do anything unless expert confirm his state.
As an alternate if he walked out of home and the police found him and brought him back, then that police report will be enough for a temporary freeze till the courts orders a full evaluation and final decision.
Get involved but his family will initially HATE you, but one must do the right thing, kudos bro.
Having lost a parent to Dementia I have experienced what the disease can do.
Is the child looking after his interests or just trying to do a money grab?
I am shocked too that the bank even spoke to him,
Only with a court order can the child even get the bank to do anything? From what you have said, sound like the child has filed motions in local court and has served the bank to do xyz till the motion is heard.
Do you know if the doctors have deemed in mentally unfit?
The experts are key here, the courts will not do anything unless expert confirm his state.
As an alternate if he walked out of home and the police found him and brought him back, then that police report will be enough for a temporary freeze till the courts orders a full evaluation and final decision.
Get involved but his family will initially HATE you, but one must do the right thing, kudos bro.
I don't think the son will get far.
Was the son in the spouses will or POD on account?
Does the son have a documented healthcare POA on the gentleman?
Most assets transfer to the surviving spouse in most states.
Is there noticeable dementia?
This situation may not be " elder law per se" at this juncture.
The gentleman must have some lawyer he utilized in the past?
Was the son in the spouses will or POD on account?
Does the son have a documented healthcare POA on the gentleman?
Most assets transfer to the surviving spouse in most states.
Is there noticeable dementia?
This situation may not be " elder law per se" at this juncture.
The gentleman must have some lawyer he utilized in the past?
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From past experience, I would stay out of it. I witnessed a family being broken up in the "exact" same situation. The children were trying to save some of their Mom's assets and prevent them from going to the "government". I saw my Mom and Brother interfere with their sister's finances trying to protect her from her children "taking" her checkbook over and the family ended up in a bad way. I'd stay out of it. That sounds harsh but it really has nothing to do with you.
If he doesn't have dementia, all is well. IF he has dementia, I would hope his family does the right thing.
If he doesn't have dementia, all is well. IF he has dementia, I would hope his family does the right thing.
Originally Posted By: Gebo
From past experience, I would stay out of it. I witnessed a family being broken up in the "exact" same situation. The children were trying to save some of their Mom's assets and prevent them from going to the "government". I saw my Mom and Brother interfere with their sister's finances trying to protect her from her children "taking" her checkbook over and the family ended up in a bad way. I'd stay out of it. That sounds harsh but it really has nothing to do with you.
If he doesn't have dementia, all is well. IF he has dementia, I would hope his family does the right thing.
Good point. His assets may actually cause him not to get specialty care when he needs it as he may not qualify for Medicaid.
OP should stay out of it -- meddling in things he has no idea about may do more harm than good.
From past experience, I would stay out of it. I witnessed a family being broken up in the "exact" same situation. The children were trying to save some of their Mom's assets and prevent them from going to the "government". I saw my Mom and Brother interfere with their sister's finances trying to protect her from her children "taking" her checkbook over and the family ended up in a bad way. I'd stay out of it. That sounds harsh but it really has nothing to do with you.
If he doesn't have dementia, all is well. IF he has dementia, I would hope his family does the right thing.
Good point. His assets may actually cause him not to get specialty care when he needs it as he may not qualify for Medicaid.
OP should stay out of it -- meddling in things he has no idea about may do more harm than good.
Thanks for the replies. To answer a previous question, l think it is a greed fueled money grab from my perspective. It is unfortunate that this individual doesn't have anybody that can be trusted.
I will read the advice rendered here and ponder it over the weekend.
I will read the advice rendered here and ponder it over the weekend.
just because you don't notice signs of dementia doesn't mean they aren't there. get him in touch with a lawyer and step aside.
The other side of the coin:
I had to take guardianship of my late father. This was in accord with his wishes, and sometimes not in accord with his wishes, depending on whether the dementia switch was flipped on or off at that moment. There were people who opposed this.
I found it vexing, to put it mildly, to have to deal with lawsuits from busybodies and meddlers, while trying to make the best health decisions for him, deal mentally with the rapidly approaching loss of my last parent ( my mother died when I was in school ), and simultaneously manage his affairs and mine.
So OP, you may think from your perspective it is a greed fueled money grab. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. Good luck with it.
I had to take guardianship of my late father. This was in accord with his wishes, and sometimes not in accord with his wishes, depending on whether the dementia switch was flipped on or off at that moment. There were people who opposed this.
I found it vexing, to put it mildly, to have to deal with lawsuits from busybodies and meddlers, while trying to make the best health decisions for him, deal mentally with the rapidly approaching loss of my last parent ( my mother died when I was in school ), and simultaneously manage his affairs and mine.
So OP, you may think from your perspective it is a greed fueled money grab. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. Good luck with it.
Originally Posted By: Mr Nice
He needs to see elder law attorney ASAP.
Also make sure this [censored] child doesn't get a penny when old man died.
Yup; change the will to cut out the greedy one would be my play, and do it prior to any dementia paperwork being filed.
I know of a similar situation; woman had Alzheimer's and her son got her to sign checks for this and that; by the time she died she was penniless and her will was meaningless; that son is shunned by the entire family to this day.
Hopefully your neighbor doesn't actually have a problem....
He needs to see elder law attorney ASAP.
Also make sure this [censored] child doesn't get a penny when old man died.
Yup; change the will to cut out the greedy one would be my play, and do it prior to any dementia paperwork being filed.
I know of a similar situation; woman had Alzheimer's and her son got her to sign checks for this and that; by the time she died she was penniless and her will was meaningless; that son is shunned by the entire family to this day.
Hopefully your neighbor doesn't actually have a problem....
Please keep in mind that persons with dementia do not behave like the rest of us. The way it progresses is the most recent memories slowly fade so it's possible that everything that is happening was already decided with the son but the neighbor doesn't remember. So why not speak to the son before overreacting and involving lawyers and such.
Look for an Advocates Organization. Here we have Advocates For The Aging, I'm sure you'll have something similar that operate solely to ensure the elder person involved is treated along their wishes, dementia or not.
For the sake of your neighbor, in addition to finding a reputable elder law attorney, find a physician that specializes in geriatric medicine and ask your neighbor to get evaluated for his benefit. It can make a significant difference especially if he is on multiple prescriptions. After age 60 or so, medications can have increased side effects that can mimic or add to confusion and dementia-like symptoms. Certain common medications that many elderly people are prescribed by regular internists or family practioners can actually make them act as if they have dementia or make the early stages of dementia much worse.
For more information visit https://www.unmc.edu/homeinsteadcenter/. Contact a university medical center for a referral to a geriatric specialist.
I am glad I took my late aunt to see a geriatric specialist as it make for a better quality of life for her in her final years.
For more information visit https://www.unmc.edu/homeinsteadcenter/. Contact a university medical center for a referral to a geriatric specialist.
I am glad I took my late aunt to see a geriatric specialist as it make for a better quality of life for her in her final years.
The son could be doing it to prevent his father from wasting money, getting ripped off, lending people money.
Are you capable of determining if the guy has dementia?
I would give him the name of a elder lawyer.
But let his son deal with it.
Are you capable of determining if the guy has dementia?
I would give him the name of a elder lawyer.
But let his son deal with it.
Originally Posted By: Donald
The son could be doing it to prevent his father from wasting money, getting ripped off, lending people money.
Are you capable of determining if the guy has dementia?
I would give him the name of a elder lawyer.
But let his son deal with it.
People with dementia can be very lucid and normal at times and not at others. Sometimes people see their elderly family member once or twice a week, for and hour or so, and never see the dementia. Then the person is admitted to the hospital. The family is there around the clock wondering what happened, when in reality it had been developing for a while before they were around enough to see it.
The son could be doing it to prevent his father from wasting money, getting ripped off, lending people money.
Are you capable of determining if the guy has dementia?
I would give him the name of a elder lawyer.
But let his son deal with it.
People with dementia can be very lucid and normal at times and not at others. Sometimes people see their elderly family member once or twice a week, for and hour or so, and never see the dementia. Then the person is admitted to the hospital. The family is there around the clock wondering what happened, when in reality it had been developing for a while before they were around enough to see it.
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