best friend owes me money

[The motor guy]

This used to be the only person I would lend money because he always paid me back and we've known one another for like 15 years. He has always been flat broke or at least claims to be which has always boggled my mind because he usually works at least 50hrs a week. Well it seems ever since he got with this new girl who in my opinion is a control freak. We go fishing and she calls like 5 or 6 times, last time we went out fishing and were only out their for an hour when she calls wondering when he plans to come home. He owes like $200 bucks and I've pretty much given up on it and just considered it water under the bridge since it's been like 3 years, but at times it still irks me when I question if my friends are really my friends. Anyways, what should I do? I've even suggested, well how about you just pay me 20 bucks here and there, that worked twice.

Maybe someone with a clear mind can give me some insight. I really think it has to do with this girl he's with who he's now married to. They got married like 6 months after meeting which I thought was ridiculous. I don't ever say anything to him about my opinion of her because I suppose it's not my place to say anything. Now he works at a chemical plant as a contractor and makes like $30/hr and rakes in the overtime, so I don't understand why he can't cough up 200 bucks.

He's a great friend, other than not hanging out as much and him not paying me back, but I understand life happens so not hanging out as often isn't a big deal.

 

[Lolvoguy]

Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
He's a great friend


Doesn't sound like it, from what you just posted

 

[Wolf359]

So now he owes you $160? That doesn't seem like much but I guess it's all relative. A small price to pay to see if he's really your friend.

Years ago at work there was a guy who used to borrow money from various people in the firm, but he always paid it back. Then he eventually left and then we found out he owed lots of people money. I guess he was borrowing money from one person to pay back another. He only borrowed $20 from me once and paid it back. Some of the higher ups lent him over $100.

 

[Nick1994]

$200 isn't something to ruin a friendship over. Sweep it under the rug and don't let it bother you.

 

[Boczech]

If its been three years then chalk it up as money you will never see again. If this person was such a great friend then he would have paid you back. Friends don't do that to you period. If it was me then I would have moved on a long time ago since it sounds like you are the third wheel. Good luck with your decision. :--))

 

[clinebarger]

Which is more important, Your friendship or your money??

As a general rule.....NEVER loan to friends & family, Or anybody for that matter. Your NOT a bank.....Or at least I'm not!

Some people are just plain bad with money & their bad decisions usually extend to other parts of their lives like relationships.

 

[DuckRyder]

1) Don't loan money to friends
2) Keep your opinion of his wife to yourself, that is a guaranteed loss for you...
a) Women can be perceptive - If she knows you don't like her you'll see your friend less if at all.
3) Forget the 200.00 bucks (or 160 or whatever it is) that was a gift (see 1)

Now, since you gave him the money and that is no longer in the way - its up to you if you want to continue to be his friend.

 

[Rolla07]

Originally Posted By: DuckRyder
1) Don't loan money to friends
2) Keep your opinion of his wife to yourself, that is a guaranteed loss for you...
a) Women can be perceptive - If she knows you don't like her you'll see your friend less if at all.
3) Forget the 200.00 bucks (or 160 or whatever it is) that was a gift (see 1)

Now, since you gave him the money and that is no longer in the way - its up to you if you want to continue to be his friend.



+1

 

[Killer223]

tough place to put a friendship. see if he can make payments to you. else see how much you need him in you life. he has made the choice to not pay on a debt.
if the friendship is truly a two way friendship and not just when he needs something from you. then worry not about it, 200 is not much. but a lot to some. i have a fiend that ive loaned 1200$ to. i told him half was a gift the rest he needs to repay at his ability.
it's been a year and no payment yet. i don't push the issue, but i also wont lend him money again.
Life it to short to worry about it.

 

[Ethan1]

1) You can maybe critique a dude's relationship with a controlling gf, but you can't say anything about a wife.

2) If she is super controlling, she probably holds the pursestrings / gives him an allowance.

3) You will probably still be his friend after this chick is gone.

4) Don't give him any more money.

 

[Pop_Rivit]

Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
Now he works at a chemical plant as a contractor and makes like $30/hr and rakes in the overtime, so I don't understand why he can't cough up 200 bucks.

He's a great friend, other than not hanging out as much and him not paying me back, but I understand life happens so not hanging out as often isn't a big deal.


So a guy bums money from you and doesn't have the integrity to repay you, and you still consider him a "great friend".

Ever hear of a guy named David Hannum? He may have been talking about you.

 

[The motor guy]

Originally Posted By: Ethan1
1) You can maybe critique a dude's relationship with a controlling gf, but you can't say anything about a wife.

2) If she is super controlling, she probably holds the pursestrings / gives him an allowance.

3) You will probably still be his friend after this chick is gone.

4) Don't give him any more money.


As terrible as it sounds, that's what I'm waiting for. This girl isn't good for him.

 

[The motor guy]

Originally Posted By: Pop_Rivit
Originally Posted By: motor_oil_madman
Now he works at a chemical plant as a contractor and makes like $30/hr and rakes in the overtime, so I don't understand why he can't cough up 200 bucks.

He's a great friend, other than not hanging out as much and him not paying me back, but I understand life happens so not hanging out as often isn't a big deal.


So a guy bums money from you and doesn't have the integrity to repay you, and you still consider him a "great friend".

Ever hear of a guy named David Hannum? He may have been talking about you.


Well as far as friends go, he's the only one that I can reliably count on. If we decide to hang out tomorrow, he'll be there. I won't get a text with some [censored] excuse of why he can't hang out, which 9 times out of 10 that's how it is with all the other people I've tried to befriend and hang out with. I almost don't even have the energy to try and hang out with new people anymore because they cancel and I spend the rest of the day irritated and basically do nothing.

 

[gregk24]

Thats a tough situation. I don't think you will see that money anytime soon.

 

[xfactor9]

Good friendships are give and take, but some people feel they don't need to put everything on a ledger. If he pays for lunch/dinner when you guys go out, maybe he feels he's "even" with you.

If this is just a one-time deal and not a chronic thing, then I wouldn't worry about it. No friendship is free of flaws, and I wouldn't destroy this friendship over something like that. But if he keeps doing it, then I would re-evaluate

 

[CT8]

Something in the bible about LENDING money to a friend.

 

[AirgunSavant]

I lent a person a huge amount of money nine years ago and never received a dime back. A few months ago he knocked on my door and had the nerve to ask me for more. He got reamed for an hour and left empty handed. Never again. These people will let you die on the street and not care.

 

[Fsharp]

Tell him you're broke and need to borrow $200 ($160?)

 

[raytseng]

Just take it as that finances can't be part of your relationship with that person.
You can still be friends but then just leave money out of it, if he for another loan in the future.


Or the other way is if it really is bothering you, get it out in the open and talk it out as adults. You can google and look up the best way on how to bring up and clear the air without it dissolving into an argument.

Usually you may need to look on marriage/relationship counseling tips on the way to have such a conversation with the best chance of success.

 

[The motor guy]

Originally Posted By: Fsharp
Tell him you're broke and need to borrow $200 ($160?)


It was $240 he paid me twice $20 each time so now it's down to $200.