with each bulb drawing about 4-5 amps (watts = Volts x amps), that totals about 8-10 amps for which you would want your wire of large enough gauge to handle, for whose length will also effect the gauge due to its resistance. That said, switches need be of higher amperage capacity, and the fuse being something like 1.5 the load amperage for which is in the safe capacity for the wire.
I'm not sure as to why the bulbs are not lasting long - perhaps the filament design can't take the vibration, is a halogen bulb that is running dim perhaps due to voltage drop across through the lines (bulbs run at lower temperature and the process of filament metal recycling is effected), and/or has been handled directly with fingers or is being contaminated by the elements (water/muck infiltration), leading to hot spots which causes thermal stress upon the glass IIRC leading to breakage.
I don't think a relay is necessary as some of the inexpensive light kits some without them and use something like 14-16 gauge wire and a 10 amp inline fuse IIRC. I however use the wire for switching a low current signal to a 20 amp automotive relay that switches power that's tapped off the battery's post terminal or power buss. The higher power lead is fused as close to the power supply voltage as possible to minimize risk, and all electrical usage for the low and high current in that circuit is drawn after that fuse. Automotive circuit breakers are also available in a range of current ratings (manual and auto reset), and can be used in-place of the fuse.
Take care, and sorry if this doesn't come across very clear - in a hurry to get ready for work.