It was announced that Abu Musab al Zarqawi was killed in Iraq by American forces. George Washington met him outside the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you fight against the nation I helped conceive. Then Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!" James Madison followed next, kicked him in the goolies and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!" Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence." The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader. As Zarqawi lay bleeding and in pain, an angel appeared. Zarqawi wept and said, "This is not what you promised me." The angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you after you death. What did you think I said?"