A Christmas [W]-Rap

[MolaKule]

Wrap wrap wrapping those Christmas Gifts
Where’s the scissors, where’s the snips.

At the department store, she wrapped so fine,
Triangular ends, perfect and-in line.

Wrap wrap wrapping those Christmas Gifts
Where’s the scissors, where’s the snips.

Should’ve paid more attention to her technique,
Rather than looking at her physique.

Wrap wrap wrapping those Christmas Gifts
Where’s the scissors, where’s the snips.

But my paper don’t look so fine.
Do I use the duct tape or fishing line?

Wrap wrap wrapping those Christmas Gifts
Where’s the scissors, where’s the snips.

Should I use Santa paper or Snowman foil,
My hands were made, for grasping cans of oil.

Wrap wrap wrapping those Christmas Gifts
Where’s the scissors, where’s the snips.

Duck Com-mander or clear Scotch tape,
How many pounds of torque will this take?

Wrap wrap wrapping those Christmas Gifts
Where’s the scissors, where’s the snips.

The grandsons want those remote controlled cars,
But the ends of the boxes give me scars.

Wrap wrap wrapping those Christmas Gifts
Where’s the scissors, where’s the snips.

Got the wife a necklace and some perfume,
Never know what she wants so I had to assume.

Wrap wrap wrapping those Christmas Gifts
Where’s the scissors, where’s the snips.

All I want for Christmas is a PureOne,
A stash of oil and some 3-in-1.

Wrap wrap wrapping those Christmas Gifts
Where’s the scissors, where’s the snips.

I need some bandaids, and I look a fright,
Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Goodnight.

 

[Jarlaxle]

Sorry, dude...but The Waitresses beat you to it by 32 years!

"Bah, humbug" no, that's too strong
'Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year's been a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy

To add to my already mad rush
Just 'cause it's 'tis the season
The perfect gift for me would be
Completions and connections left from

Last year, ski shoppin'
Encounter, most interesting
Had his number but never the time
Most of '81 passed along those lines

So deck those halls, trim those trees
Raise up cup's of Christmas cheer
I just need to catch my breath
Christmas by myself this year

Calendar picture, frozen landscape
Chilled this room for twenty-four days
Evergreens, sparkling snow
Get this winter over with

Flashback to springtime, saw him again
Would've been good to go for lunch
Couldn't agree when we were both free
We tried, we said we'd keep in touch

Didn't, of course, 'til summertime
Out to the beach to his boat could I join him?
No, this time it was me
Sunburn in the third degree

Now the calendar's just one page
And, of course, I am excited
Tonight's the night, but I've set my mind
Not to do too much about it

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
But I think, I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
But I think, I'll miss this one this year

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
But I think, I'll miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
But I think, I'll miss this one this year

Hardly dashing through the snow
'Cause I bundled up too tight
Last minute have to do
A few cards a few calls

'Cause it's "RSVP"
No thanks, no party lights
It's Christmas eve, gonna relax
Turned down all of my invites

Last fall I had a night to myself
Same guy called, Halloween party
Waited all night for him to show
This time his car wouldn't go

Forget it, it's cold, it's getting late
Trudge on home to celebrate
In a quiet way, unwind
Doing Christmas right this time.

"A&P" has its provided me
With the world's smallest turkey
Already in the oven, nice and hot
Oh [censored]! Guess what I forgot?

So on, with the boots, back out in the snow
To the only all-night grocery
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year

"I'm spending this one alone," he said
"Need a break, this year's been crazy"
I said, "Me too, but why are you?
You mean you forgot cranberries too?"

Then suddenly we laughed and laughed
Caught on to what was happening
That Christmas magic's brought this tale
To a very happy ending

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Couldn't miss this one this year

Sorta the mirror-image of Dan Fogelberg's Same Old Lang Syne...

 

[simple_gifts]

I like the BITOG tilt with Mola's.