I prefer 45's, simply for the fact that I love 1911's, and that I can't tell the difference in recoil between a 9mm, 40s&w and 45acp in a full size gun. There is nothing wrong with a 9mm or 40.....I just prefer a 45. I am also a revolver fan. I have a S&W 686 plus with a 4 inch barrel that I love. I also have a DAO ruger sp101 with a 2 1/4 inch barrel in 357mag. The ruger is surprisingly easy to shoot with full power 357's due to it being rather large and heavy for a snubbie. I recently shot one of the scandium/titanium S&W snubbies in 357 and with full power loads, that thing is FIESTY!........11.5 ozs isn't much weight to help tame recoil. I recently shot a taurus 24/7 in 45acp that I was quite impressed with.
My best advice is to shoot alot of different guns and calibers before you make your choice. Don't let a "macho man" attitude sway you one way on the other...................it is better to be shot in the arm with a 44mag than to be shot between the eyes with a 22.