What I learned at the movies

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Apr 11, 2003
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Spring HIll
-- It is always possible to park directly in front of any building you are visiting. -- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.-- If you start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. -- Most laptops are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. -- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts -- your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. -- After a person suffers a massive blow to the head, they will still be surprisingly good looking. -- No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock. -- Partnering police officers with their total opposites will always, eventually, lead to buddy teams who share unbreakable bonds and gruff affection.
 
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Columbus, Ohio
 Originally Posted By: ToyotaNSaturn
-- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts -- your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
This is the one that always kills me--uh, duh, if they didn't wait to attack they could overpower the one guy with no problem. How fake can you get? John
 
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Indiana, USA
--No one ever gets hurt from +6' jump/fall and is ready to sprint upon landing. --MovieOS has every magical utility imaginable available at a single mouse click and will appear on screen by itself in ATM sized type
 

Kestas

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Jun 4, 2002
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The Motor City
-- Your foe will always jump out in full view by the score so you can blow them away, while you and your men are safely behind obstacles. -- The hero never calls for backup, but instead pursues the perps on his own. Once the perps are subdued, the police always arrive just in time to "mop up" the scene and haul the perps to jail. -- In horror movies, after the innocent "ha-ha" scare and you go "phew", then the real scare comes. -- In other horror movies, people never learn to behead the ogre once it's subdued. Instead they think he's dead, but they always seem to come back to life.
 
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Jun 6, 2004
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Georgia
I just want a cell phone like they have in the movies. Those suckers can talk anywhere and never drops a call.
 
Joined
Feb 21, 2003
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Houston, Tex
 Originally Posted By: Kestas
-- In other horror movies, people never learn to behead the ogre once it's subdued. Instead they think he's dead, but they always seem to come back to life.
People in the movies never bother to listen to the background track that tells when danger is at hand.... Except in Blazing Saddles, when he looked around for the source.
 

Kestas

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Joined
Jun 4, 2002
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The Motor City
-- Explosions occur once you've run just far enough not to be killed, but close enough to be knocked off your feet. -- Cars always explode with a tremendous bang when they roll downhill... sometimes as they just go over the hill. -- The adolescents are always wise beyond their years, and definitely wiser than their parents. -- The hero always seems to barely outrun the flame front of an explosion in a tunnel.
 
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Feb 21, 2003
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Houston, Tex
 Originally Posted By: PandaBear
-- You never get STD no matter how many sex partners you sleep with.
The people available to sleep with are always ones you would want to sleep with.
 
Joined
May 26, 2003
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Central Coast, Calif.
Computers have to display their database graphically to search it. If it is a detective story, the uniformed officers are always idiots. They are also terrible drivers and will crash into each other. Investigators are snipers, demolition experts, and lead SWAT into a building. SWAT officers are also idiots. Military personal apparently spit out Sir/Ma'am constantly in casual conversation. Sewer tunnels and air conditioning ducts are surprisingly well lit. on the other hand office buildings are dark. It only rains at night unless it is a major storm. Alarm systems leave critical wires out in the open. By pulling them out the system is easily disabled.
 
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Aug 8, 2007
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Indiana, USA
-- The world's law enforcement agencies have an endless supply of Crown Victorias -- Bad guys can't hit, good guys can't miss
 
Joined
May 25, 2005
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DFW Texas
If the movie is a Western, no matter how big or mean or dangerous the person being held at gunpoint is, the gun will NEVER be cocked UNTIL that person makes the slightest twitch.
 
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