At New York Kennedy airport today, an individual
later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule and a calculator. Attorney general John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of
the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being
charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Algebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed",
Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by
means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They
consistof quite shadowy figures, with names like "x" and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. "As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given
us more fingers and toes."
later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule and a calculator. Attorney general John Ashcroft believes the man is a member of
the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being
charged with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Algebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed",
Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by
means and extremes, and sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value. They
consistof quite shadowy figures, with names like "x" and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as "unknowns", we know they really belong to a common denominator and are part of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. "As the great Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given
us more fingers and toes."