Buckle up for another typically long Shortyb tale 
.
I was at the pool the other day with my wife and we were talking new vehicles with a neighbor. Mentioned that if/when the Dadwagon dies, I would consider the Ford Maverick in the Lobo trim. When talking price, I said the retail for the Lobo High (more fun stuff included) was around $43K. Normally, that would elicit a steady stream of how my demise would proceed any new car purchases, imminent divorce (I'll miss her) etc. But this time, she paused, and said "that's not too bad and we would have a truck to haul stuff if we needed it". Don't know if it was the second Captain Morgan Chili Lime Margarita drink she was on or if the planets had suddenly aligned or what, but married guys know what that means. Green light! So, yesterday, it was off to the local Ford dealership.
Of course I drove in and there isn't a customer in sight, which meant the sales vultures were hanging around out front. All were about twenty-something and noses in their cell phones until I appeared, where they about blocked me from pulling into a parking space like they were protesters trying to impede my escape. Squeezed out my door and was almost mobbed, but chose the first guy that spoke. I told him, in no uncertain terms, that I was there to just look and not buy. The sales guy lost the smile on his face and the other 3 sales vultures quickly flew back to their roost at the front door. Got my point across, good. After the typical attempts at a sale, he finally gave up and determined that, what the heck, at least he'll get out of the dealership for a test drive.
He goes to get the keys and I took that opportunity to give it a walk around. Pretty nice, Velocity Blue, with huge 19", all black "Turbofan" style wheels. Painted lower cladding and bumpers to evoke the sport truck theme, but not as visually lowered as the specs show over the standard Mavericks. Black painted roof, new black Ford ovals, and blacked out grille/lower valance. Comes with a sprayed in bedliner and tie-down rails with adjustable attachment brackets in this trim level. But nothing significant other than the wheels to really differentiate it or set it apart. Salesguy returns with the keys and remote starts the truck from the keyfob.
Opens it up and I'm greeted by an all black interior with touches of Grabber Blue here and there. Cool looking front seats with blue and lime colored stitching, electric adjustments and are heated, but not ventilated. Heated steering wheel with excellent feeling leather covering and a minimum of buttons. Back seat area is roomy and plenty of headroom unless you play professional basketball. Interestingly, the headliner and inner trim pillars are a light beige/gray color and not a more sporty/sinister black like most other "sport" themed vehicles. Seated in the driver's chair, you are greeted by a huge infotainment panel right in the center of the upper dash. It isn't oriented toward the driver, but more straight across the dash. Played with the interface and it was simple enough, and has a separate touch area for climate control so you don't have to dig through menus just to lower the cabin temp. The less offensive, albeit still non audiophile quality, Bang and Olufsen audio systems available in the high trim is still controlled in the screen interface. However, there is a welcome manual volume knob, just not where you expect it. It's on the far right side of the small control panel underneath the infotainment screen. What dominates the typical space on the left is the large trailer assist knob. Never used one of these and can back a trailer just fine without assistance of this sort. Maybe I could swap the places around with the volume knob. The "gauge panel" in front of the steering wheel is another screen display and you can customize the layout. Somewhat. Most of it is with which mileage/trip meter choice you want where. No where, could I find a tachometer. Of any kind. Reviews say there is a small bar style somewhere in there, but it is not simple to find. Absolutely inexcusable in a "sport" oriented vehicle. I'd even settle for a digital representation of an analog speedometer/tachometer. Nothing round here, just a large digital speed display. and it's not even centered. Design team must have been drinking mushroom coffee when they chose all that and thought it would be good visually. Oh well. There are lots of stowage cubbies and 2 large cupholders though thankfully. Typical electronic control of lights and parking brake, push button start (which you have to push again if remote started to "unlock" it), and a rotary gear selector knob with a manual shift button in the center. Steering wheel does have paddles for the X-Box style shifting and a variety of buttons for cruise control, display choice, and driving mode selection. Wiper, turnsignal, and highbeam control are all on the stalks flanking the wheel like normal cars do. It's an interior that I could easily live with though and looks pretty good overall.
So now time to see how it all goes. Rotary knob is positive and gets to gear quickly, but where the hell did the accelerator pedal go? I tried to put my foot onto something in the area you'd expect the pedal to be, but nothing is there. I had to look down and see where it was, and found a small piece of plastic about 4 inches long and about an inch wide way up against the fire wall. What the heck? Once I found it, it took quite a bit of purposeful pressure to operate. And it was slippery. My foot kept slipping off of it even with my grippy shoes on. Not good. The steering, though, is the most pleasantly surprising. It has a very nice heft and actual feedback. Quicker ratio from the steering rack picked from the Kuga (European version of the Escape) parts bin, gives it immediate response without feeling darty. It does have a lane keeping feature, but almost imperceptible with intervention. 2.0 4 cylinder turbo (MPI and DI) gets it around pretty quickly and has good low end torque. Loses it's breath in the upper revs, but this ain't no dragster truck. Transmission shifts super fast and smooth, even with the flappy paddles. Tried out the different modes and the only one that really noticeably changes the way everything responds is Lobe mode. Throttle response, steering, transmission shifts are all faster and more responsive. The rear end has a torque vectoring clutch pack that you can feel in the corners when the installed all-season tires are taxed. And those rim protectors do decide to give up early and often though, and if not careful, could have you exploring the scenery in a circular fashion. Bringing all this fun to a stop is the job of the superb brakes that include calipers and rotors from the Euro Focus ST (why do they get all the cool cars?). Strong, with excellent bite and modulation but not feeling grabby. Again tires are the limiting factor here. Want to increase the steering and braking response? Spoon on some performance oriented tires and get ready for the bigger grin to make your face hurt. Ride was very controlled and comfortable without any harshness or tossing you around. Seats could use a bit more bolstering for when you turn things up, but all around were well padded and supportive. Easy to remain in the saddle for many hours at a time. Inside was quiet with no rattles or intrusive noise when on non-glass smooth pavement, which there is plenty of around here. All in all, not bad for a compact pickup with a little sport flavoring.
Went back to the dealership where they tried all the sales tactics to get me to buy right then and there. Kept having to remind them I was not buying today, in spite of their efforts, but was funny to watch them play the game. Finally got tired and told them I had a 420 credit score and wanted a $500 a month payment for 48 months with no down payment or trade. It was like a bomb went off in the showroom and everyone disappeared except the sales manager who I was TOed to. He stood up, shook my hand, and said he got it. I was hungry so left for some pizza at Costco without a word from any other employee on my way out. Later, told the wife I had test drove the truck we were discussing at the pool. I guess part of the Capt. Morgan alcohol recipe is to eliminate short term memory, because she asked if I had found a good divorce attorney. Guess Dad will live in the garage til he dies
.
.I was at the pool the other day with my wife and we were talking new vehicles with a neighbor. Mentioned that if/when the Dadwagon dies, I would consider the Ford Maverick in the Lobo trim. When talking price, I said the retail for the Lobo High (more fun stuff included) was around $43K. Normally, that would elicit a steady stream of how my demise would proceed any new car purchases, imminent divorce (I'll miss her) etc. But this time, she paused, and said "that's not too bad and we would have a truck to haul stuff if we needed it". Don't know if it was the second Captain Morgan Chili Lime Margarita drink she was on or if the planets had suddenly aligned or what, but married guys know what that means. Green light! So, yesterday, it was off to the local Ford dealership.
Of course I drove in and there isn't a customer in sight, which meant the sales vultures were hanging around out front. All were about twenty-something and noses in their cell phones until I appeared, where they about blocked me from pulling into a parking space like they were protesters trying to impede my escape. Squeezed out my door and was almost mobbed, but chose the first guy that spoke. I told him, in no uncertain terms, that I was there to just look and not buy. The sales guy lost the smile on his face and the other 3 sales vultures quickly flew back to their roost at the front door. Got my point across, good. After the typical attempts at a sale, he finally gave up and determined that, what the heck, at least he'll get out of the dealership for a test drive.
He goes to get the keys and I took that opportunity to give it a walk around. Pretty nice, Velocity Blue, with huge 19", all black "Turbofan" style wheels. Painted lower cladding and bumpers to evoke the sport truck theme, but not as visually lowered as the specs show over the standard Mavericks. Black painted roof, new black Ford ovals, and blacked out grille/lower valance. Comes with a sprayed in bedliner and tie-down rails with adjustable attachment brackets in this trim level. But nothing significant other than the wheels to really differentiate it or set it apart. Salesguy returns with the keys and remote starts the truck from the keyfob.
Opens it up and I'm greeted by an all black interior with touches of Grabber Blue here and there. Cool looking front seats with blue and lime colored stitching, electric adjustments and are heated, but not ventilated. Heated steering wheel with excellent feeling leather covering and a minimum of buttons. Back seat area is roomy and plenty of headroom unless you play professional basketball. Interestingly, the headliner and inner trim pillars are a light beige/gray color and not a more sporty/sinister black like most other "sport" themed vehicles. Seated in the driver's chair, you are greeted by a huge infotainment panel right in the center of the upper dash. It isn't oriented toward the driver, but more straight across the dash. Played with the interface and it was simple enough, and has a separate touch area for climate control so you don't have to dig through menus just to lower the cabin temp. The less offensive, albeit still non audiophile quality, Bang and Olufsen audio systems available in the high trim is still controlled in the screen interface. However, there is a welcome manual volume knob, just not where you expect it. It's on the far right side of the small control panel underneath the infotainment screen. What dominates the typical space on the left is the large trailer assist knob. Never used one of these and can back a trailer just fine without assistance of this sort. Maybe I could swap the places around with the volume knob. The "gauge panel" in front of the steering wheel is another screen display and you can customize the layout. Somewhat. Most of it is with which mileage/trip meter choice you want where. No where, could I find a tachometer. Of any kind. Reviews say there is a small bar style somewhere in there, but it is not simple to find. Absolutely inexcusable in a "sport" oriented vehicle. I'd even settle for a digital representation of an analog speedometer/tachometer. Nothing round here, just a large digital speed display. and it's not even centered. Design team must have been drinking mushroom coffee when they chose all that and thought it would be good visually. Oh well. There are lots of stowage cubbies and 2 large cupholders though thankfully. Typical electronic control of lights and parking brake, push button start (which you have to push again if remote started to "unlock" it), and a rotary gear selector knob with a manual shift button in the center. Steering wheel does have paddles for the X-Box style shifting and a variety of buttons for cruise control, display choice, and driving mode selection. Wiper, turnsignal, and highbeam control are all on the stalks flanking the wheel like normal cars do. It's an interior that I could easily live with though and looks pretty good overall.
So now time to see how it all goes. Rotary knob is positive and gets to gear quickly, but where the hell did the accelerator pedal go? I tried to put my foot onto something in the area you'd expect the pedal to be, but nothing is there. I had to look down and see where it was, and found a small piece of plastic about 4 inches long and about an inch wide way up against the fire wall. What the heck? Once I found it, it took quite a bit of purposeful pressure to operate. And it was slippery. My foot kept slipping off of it even with my grippy shoes on. Not good. The steering, though, is the most pleasantly surprising. It has a very nice heft and actual feedback. Quicker ratio from the steering rack picked from the Kuga (European version of the Escape) parts bin, gives it immediate response without feeling darty. It does have a lane keeping feature, but almost imperceptible with intervention. 2.0 4 cylinder turbo (MPI and DI) gets it around pretty quickly and has good low end torque. Loses it's breath in the upper revs, but this ain't no dragster truck. Transmission shifts super fast and smooth, even with the flappy paddles. Tried out the different modes and the only one that really noticeably changes the way everything responds is Lobe mode. Throttle response, steering, transmission shifts are all faster and more responsive. The rear end has a torque vectoring clutch pack that you can feel in the corners when the installed all-season tires are taxed. And those rim protectors do decide to give up early and often though, and if not careful, could have you exploring the scenery in a circular fashion. Bringing all this fun to a stop is the job of the superb brakes that include calipers and rotors from the Euro Focus ST (why do they get all the cool cars?). Strong, with excellent bite and modulation but not feeling grabby. Again tires are the limiting factor here. Want to increase the steering and braking response? Spoon on some performance oriented tires and get ready for the bigger grin to make your face hurt. Ride was very controlled and comfortable without any harshness or tossing you around. Seats could use a bit more bolstering for when you turn things up, but all around were well padded and supportive. Easy to remain in the saddle for many hours at a time. Inside was quiet with no rattles or intrusive noise when on non-glass smooth pavement, which there is plenty of around here. All in all, not bad for a compact pickup with a little sport flavoring.
Went back to the dealership where they tried all the sales tactics to get me to buy right then and there. Kept having to remind them I was not buying today, in spite of their efforts, but was funny to watch them play the game. Finally got tired and told them I had a 420 credit score and wanted a $500 a month payment for 48 months with no down payment or trade. It was like a bomb went off in the showroom and everyone disappeared except the sales manager who I was TOed to. He stood up, shook my hand, and said he got it. I was hungry so left for some pizza at Costco without a word from any other employee on my way out. Later, told the wife I had test drove the truck we were discussing at the pool. I guess part of the Capt. Morgan alcohol recipe is to eliminate short term memory, because she asked if I had found a good divorce attorney. Guess Dad will live in the garage til he dies
.
Linked to the happy marriage rule let wife pick her car.
