Funny you mention Raybestos. I had a friend who was a manager at a small mom and pop auto parts store and they sold Raybestos, I've used them and they lasted no longer than Bendix Premium or any of the other top of the line brand. Not sure how old you are or how many brake jobs you've done, but in 35+ years my experience is "the original pads and shoes the car rolled off the line with lasted the longest". Note the words rolled off the line with, I'm not even sure you can get them from the dealer.
Raybestos makes different lines of pads and rotors some made in the USA or Canada, entry level, Professional grade, Advanced Technology, organic, semi-metallic, ceramic, etc, as I'm sure Bendix and others do as well. What you're saying that OE pads last significantly longer than any replacement pad for the application, defies science and good sense, and my experience. I've done a fair amount of brake jobs on various cars and I'm not a spring chicken. I don't really know what to say other than maybe you are not getting quality pads with rotors and making sure everything is in spec. And you can usually or at least sometimes get the exact pads and rotors from the dealer that the car rolled down the assembly line for GM and most others at least. Although they may now carry two lines of parts. What do you think OE replacement parts are? They're generally an exact copy of what the car rolled down the line with. The pads aren't too unreasonably priced but the OE rotors can be outrageous. But they're generally exactly same as what the car rolled down the assembly line with. I can see that OEs want to make sure the pads make it through the warranty, but so do service pad makers. What I'm telling you is what I believe is true and have seen. No need to baselessly question my experience.
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I didn't say anything about buying brakes at a dealership, they'd charge an arm and a leg and probably carry Bendix Premium. That is what the local Ford guy tried giving me, and re-lined shoes for the rear. I mentioned Thermostats from the dealership were better than something off the shelf from AAP, or another parts store in my Ford applications. Glad you had success, in all the new cars I've owned that has been my experience, maybe now they use the same junk available in parts stores.
I mentioned dealer pads because you kept insisting the originals last longer, and so you can get the originals there usually. True, now they are carrying two lines at some dealers, but some dealer carry the originals too. For example GM has the GM line and the ACDELCO line that appear to be raybestos or Bendix. I guess it depends on the dealer and the automaker. I don't really believe the other non-OE line of replacements have a different life anyway.
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As a side note, I had a leaking slave cylinder while a Ford was under warranty and it ruined the clutch. Ford tried putting a Ford remaunfactured Clutch in it, no cigar! It took a little heated discussion, and some wheeling and dealing and I had them put a new CF clutch in, in that case it was better than the Ford part.
Well they might try to replace something with a factory rebuilt unit, but that doesn't mean it doesn't meet the quality of a new unit, not that I'd like them doing that. So it's debatable just because something is new that makes it better than a rebuilt unit. Sometimes an aftermarket part is better than an OE, but not usually unless it's a really premium or expensive brand. It also depends on how you define "better", service life, performance, noise, etc.