and don't forget: driving through store-fronts and somehow, astonishingly, no one is hurt.
Originally Posted By: eljefino
Originally Posted By: MCompact
These should just about cover it:
1. Permanently activated left turn signal
2. Cruise control that detects the posted speed limit and maintains a speed of at least 15 mph less-in the left lane, if at all possible.
3. Stability control system that ensures that all corners are taken at no more than 50% of the posted advisory speed while keeping the brakes applied throughout the entire turn.
4. Drive by wire throttle/brakes that stop the car on every entrance ramp to a limited access highway, then accelerate at @.00001G in order to merge onto said highway at 40 mph below the speed limit.
You forgot:
5. Brake lights that self test themselves every minute, even when accelerating
6. High beams on during the rain, because the auto light sensor thinks it's time, and the geezer parked the car with the switch on high when they got home the previous evening.
7: Windscreen wipers pointed vertically when off, often seen on Grand Marquissses, to give the driver something to line up his mole vision eyesight with. Replaces the hood ornament.
8. Power steering pumps that whine at full lock, to let the driver know it's okay to pull out of a parallel parking space into the path of a bicyclist.
9. Central license plate gas filler, so no matter which way they pull into the pumps, it's the wrong way, and they can do an eleventy-point turn to get set up right. See #8.
10. Bumper sticker for the "other" presidential candidate three elections ago, so we know that the transmission fluid leak is the fault of the economy as a whole.