The car is not my decision, so there's not much I can do about Subaru being on the table or off. Even if it were not for her dislike of Subaru, most don't have the power she's looking for either way.
I think AWD is the only realistic option, she's not going to want to be in the habit of engaging and disengaging a transfer case manually.
I looked at the Ford Escape but truedelta.com reliability information left me feeling that even a Chevy Equinox would be a better option. However, her husband is very anti-GM and Chrysler so I think I'm out of leads there as well.
They've owned an X3 but I think she is trying to get away from the maintenance issues with BMW. They own 4 BMW's currently and I think the experience has slowly left a sour taste.
I doubt she will go for anything Kia/Hyundai and honestly, she's looking for something a little more upscale than most of their offerings.
I keep personally plugging the CR-V since I think it's the closest thing out there to a fit, but I agree with posters who say she will need to compromise. I keep hoping I am missing some obvious ones but it's starting to seem like I am not. I have been trying to steer her towards at least considering FWD vehicles but my worry is that if I am successful, she'll get stuck at some point this winter and make me regret ever opening my mouth about non-AWD options.
I think the RDX might genuinely be a good suggestion, I had forgotten it was basically a turbo CR-V. I need to do some research on that one.